Wednesday, January 15, 2003

HSPs as "Easy Targets" for Abusive Behavior

One of the most common discussions in the online HSP Communities revolve around the idea that HSPs are-- somehow-- "easy targets" for the kind of people who tend to "use" others to get their needs met, regardless of whether it's abusive, or coincidental.

I think those in need of healing intuitively seek out healers. Whether we necessarily believe it, I think we HSPs are natural healers of troubled souls/psyches. My guess is that's how come many HSPs end up in couseling-like and teaching fields. The trouble comes to us when the toxic people get to be "partners," rather than "clients." The troubles we are trying to heal suddenly get to be very close.

Maybe we're uncomfortable sending away someone who seems to be in need. Someone who has an "inner wound." Even if that inner wound can damage us, if we stand too close to it, for too long. Maybe they sense that we can "heal" them, on some level-- and seek us out. However we may experience and internalize our feelings-- people with personality disturbances rarely look at us (or anyone else, for that matter) and think: "Here, let me HURT this person." They are looking for someone who will just "accept" them... (their paradigm).. and maybe the difference is that non-HSPs have boundaries that automatically reject the "damaged" personality.

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