tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post3932171438511706215..comments2023-12-07T03:10:25.030-08:00Comments on HSP Notes: Reflection: HSPs, childhood and how early lessons shape our adult livesPeter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-80585321096443295252012-12-16T04:52:19.452-08:002012-12-16T04:52:19.452-08:00Peter, I appreciate your thoughts on this. I had ...Peter, I appreciate your thoughts on this. I had a similar kind of upbringing, parents with strong personalities, and around age 40, I discovered I was really my own person. The interesting thing is that it took me moving "back home" in recent years to know how strong the need is to control me, how strong their judgments feel to me - and how off-base. Don't get me wrong, they're really generous and likable people, they just need their eldest child to be a certain way, and they'll do whatever it takes to be right about it. I generally don't challenge, stay quiet and smile in all the right places, but sometimes I withdraw to find out what I really feel or think. Indeed, I'm not afraid of being alone, because when I'm alone, I'm not defined by anyone else.<br /><br />So it makes sense why I might be reactive to manipulation or control. It's also clear that I can't expect others to change, so I must change. Maybe those with strong-willed parents know that truth in an especially significant way. There's something comforting in having that self-knowledge, though, and maybe I was given these parents so I would grow into a stronger me.<br /><br />The only piece I question is that it's simple. I think it used to be pretty simple when I lived 1500 miles away and could laugh about it. When I come face to face with it in my daily life, it can still be a rather painful dynamic.<br /><br />So thanks again for sharing, it does help to hear others' stories.<br /><br />Markihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00868705631326018773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-72807345770568501152012-12-15T13:51:05.596-08:002012-12-15T13:51:05.596-08:00"Specifically because HSPs tend to learn thei..."Specifically because HSPs tend to learn their lessons easily, childhood habits can be difficult to unlearn"<br /><br />Yes, I agree. As HSP's we tend to internalize messages very deeply, both the spoken and the unspoken component. Learning HOW to let go is a process in and of itself. <br /><br />Everyone seems to speak of "just letting go" yet few people consider that letting go is actually a skill and process that can and needs to be taught. <br /><br />"Just let it go" really doesn't cut it. Some necessary discernment and know-how around how other people's conditioning can get -literally- entangled inside of us is needed. I've also found that many HSP's - in part- already have an inner "method" for deeply letting go, often we just don't realize and need somebody to help us spell it out, so that we can use it consciously. Once all the pieces fit together letting go can be very quick and effective, but it's not just a matter of "it happens because someone says I should let go" :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14511496589492208543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-62608006113539069682012-12-15T13:27:42.573-08:002012-12-15T13:27:42.573-08:00My parents were (and still are) like this too. Wit...My parents were (and still are) like this too. With their best intentions, I'm absolutely sure. And I was the child you described. I never made any waves. And I rarely do them now. I've always prefered peace, above all else. I was not aware this could be related to the HSP trait, but I guess it makes sense. With 29 years old I'm still struggling to find my own voice!<br />This was inspiring to read. Thank you!Mopsahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11649071223982539916noreply@blogger.com