tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38137612024-03-07T20:02:42.688-08:00HSP NotesA Blog written by a Highly Sensitive Person. Thoughts and ramblings on life as a Highly Sensitive Person in an often not so sensitive world.Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.comBlogger256125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-8642840634764796012023-03-14T23:12:00.005-07:002023-09-27T16:33:55.067-07:00Notes from my Desk: Re-Birth, Once Again... aka "Reality Bites"Recently, I have been considering things that "fade away" in our lives.<br />
<br />
I'm talking about those things that just seem to "<i>leave with a whimper,</i>" not those things we make an active decision to end, for one reason or another. As a Highly Sensitive Person, I have had many of the former things in my life — in fact, quite a few more than I am willing to admit to.<div><br /><i><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwaK00fW9xL0F_IPrLQ0xG3hPuw4SRcVQ0lhju5dK4mrTA5NHyYwOGHlu6FBEsxkXZ7wfEdHVsKotEUfr8TEEzUHz6YYSXoO0MAUs-XH7FSUtvRN_Ts9HQZFNP_VoYkzTQI0vgiejbrNbhNixQqmDLfcRCg65p6YnwdA7mLhNpJ9VNcjgkkF5i/s1731/0327-Strawflower.JPG" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1731" data-original-width="1350" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwaK00fW9xL0F_IPrLQ0xG3hPuw4SRcVQ0lhju5dK4mrTA5NHyYwOGHlu6FBEsxkXZ7wfEdHVsKotEUfr8TEEzUHz6YYSXoO0MAUs-XH7FSUtvRN_Ts9HQZFNP_VoYkzTQI0vgiejbrNbhNixQqmDLfcRCg65p6YnwdA7mLhNpJ9VNcjgkkF5i/w313-h400/0327-Strawflower.JPG" width="313" /></a></div></i><div>Most often, the common reason I end up pointing to is "overstimulation," that bugaboo that haunts many HSPs. In my case, "abandoned projects" are almost inevitably the result of launching into a project with enthusiasm, then "something" happens and the project gets temporarily put on the back burner but because life is... well... <i>busy</i>... and I discover that I simply don't have the energy to continue at the same time as also keeping up with "regular life." As more time passes, "temporarily" gradually becomes "permanently."</div><br />Not because I don't <i>like</i> the project anymore... but because dealing with it feels like "too much," on top of everything else.<br /><br />Often, what I think of as "<i>in this moment overstimulation</i>" is replaced with a sort of "<i>long term overstimulation</i>" as I consider the fact that I really do want to continue with some project on my metaphorical back burner, but now it has gone from merely a "resuming" situation, to needing to find six free days to (re)organize everything merely so that I can get back to the point where I originally let things slide. By then it feels like a <i>huge</i> project, and so I am avoiding it, because I know it will feel overwhelming once I get started again.<br /><br />I suppose we all get involved in something from time to time, and let it slide away. Maybe that's just human nature and not "<i>HSP nature.</i>" And seriously? It only bugs me when I recognize that something <i>really</i> worthwhile has gotten away from me... and there is not enough ME to do what I want to do.<br /><br />So... why am I writing this?<br /><br />One of the facts of my reality I often end up pondering is how <i>often</i> it feels like there simply isn't "<i>enough ME</i>" to go around; to apply to the things I deem important.<br /><br />On deeper examination, I end up facing the simple fact that the mere process of "<i>earning a living</i>" as a self-employed person leaves pretty much <i>zero</i> energy in reserve to merely do things for fun. In her books and workshops, Elaine Aron speaks about how it is important for HSPs to <i>not work too much</i>, as a way to manage overstimulation and eventual burnout.</div><div><br /></div><div>I definitely don't <i>want</i> to work a lot, but in the USA in 2023 many of us don't have much choice. You work a lot, or you end up living in a cardboard box.<br />
<br />There are property taxes due, in a couple of weeks. You pay them, or you lose your home... a realization that what we "have" in life often hangs by a fragile thread. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><hr /><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></p></div>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-15609425855541655272023-01-12T09:28:00.001-08:002023-09-27T14:38:47.611-07:00Looking Backwards to Memories in Search of HealingI will be the first to admit that I have always been a daydreamer and someone who tends to "drift off" on a cloud of thoughts inside my head.<br />
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Part of that stems from having a particular version of ADHD (if you believe that's a real "thing"), part of that stems from an eternal quest to find answers.<br />
<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3_QLImmZXY7ncc9x-Eoikc81l5WRwjLeH6-EftHO8JtRmw7UCeIEvCWWYmwNGxGfjj035GHXQouvwzlqkuZl_FEn0ilTV0oK1sCB4XDcoLLxI2eSYcI1Ml019YptM0pYtnt8n05uW-YCj0wN_4J6HsmwoZu405v5ltA-dflnDcVdQKGXgImX1/s1366/0108-Rowan.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1366" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3_QLImmZXY7ncc9x-Eoikc81l5WRwjLeH6-EftHO8JtRmw7UCeIEvCWWYmwNGxGfjj035GHXQouvwzlqkuZl_FEn0ilTV0oK1sCB4XDcoLLxI2eSYcI1Ml019YptM0pYtnt8n05uW-YCj0wN_4J6HsmwoZu405v5ltA-dflnDcVdQKGXgImX1/w351-h400/0108-Rowan.jpg" width="351" /></a></div>One of my patterns seems to be that I spend a lot of time "looking backwards." Not in the sense that I am always "reliving" old painful and embarrassing moments — a common thing among we HSPs — but in the sense that I am trying to find "key moments" where my path took a turn that somehow has resulted in struggle and pain, many years later. It almost feels like a desire to go back at look at those moments, with a sad reflection of "<i>if ONLY I had gone left instead of right, maybe things would be different now.</i>"<br /><br />I suppose some people who characterize such thoughts as "regret."<br /><br />I am not sure.<br /><br />I don't <i>feel</i> regretful, so much as I feel compelled to somehow "<i>learn something</i>" to help me not make future decisions that lead to <i>more</i> hardship; <i>more</i> iterations of looking back from some future date and considering what I could have done differently... in what is now my present. Of course, it easily becomes an endless loop of speculation, so I don't "go there" very often!<div><br /></div><div>To the degree that there <i>is</i> a pattern, it seems to be that I invariably make really poor decisions during times when I really don't <i>like</i> myself, and don't <i>believe</i> in myself. </div><div><br /></div><div>Perhaps the lesson here is that I should just <i>avoid</i> making important decisions at such times... perhaps I would be better served by pausing and working on myself, instead.</div><div><br /></div><div><hr /><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></p></div>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-77097780449684968252022-09-26T13:42:00.001-07:002022-09-26T13:42:45.853-07:00Anniversary Time: 20 Years of HSP Notes!<p>On September 26th, 2002 I got this crazy idea that I was going to start keeping a blog/journal about the whole "<i>HSP Experience,</i>" at least as it was unfolding for <i>me</i>. </p><p>At the time, I had been exploring the concept of being a "<i>Highly Sensitive Person</i>" for a little over five years, having stumbled upon Elaine Aron's first book in January of 1997.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRarsg_cLFWfYzRZQAKICnA3JODQdaiHxEZuiNahSFjom-Pp7ePKZB6vCp8Dn3Ja2cIRF60P2iu5cYhseNHBHFTKTo0tEpYRORemedrJlWLzLJw_rRZDSYIP6wkqsq6i08BMIdWWTMnUJYAxb_PobF8WSV_JoZxyoH_ajrjerwTemhCpB8Rw/s1017/0327-BigSurSunset.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1017" data-original-width="850" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRarsg_cLFWfYzRZQAKICnA3JODQdaiHxEZuiNahSFjom-Pp7ePKZB6vCp8Dn3Ja2cIRF60P2iu5cYhseNHBHFTKTo0tEpYRORemedrJlWLzLJw_rRZDSYIP6wkqsq6i08BMIdWWTMnUJYAxb_PobF8WSV_JoZxyoH_ajrjerwTemhCpB8Rw/w334-h400/0327-BigSurSunset.jpg" width="334" /></a></div><p>I wasn't actually too sure as to <i>what</i> I was planning to write about, but I had a fair bit of enthusiasm... and I was starting to become quite active in a number of online HSP forums and message board communities, so I figured I could always write about some of the insights and ideas I picked up there. </p><p>Those were the early days of "<i>HSP awareness</i>;" a time where the number of people who were <i>openly aware</i> that they were Highly Sensitive was pretty limited.</p><p>The whole idea of "blogging" was also still somewhat new to the world, but I had kept a paper journal for many years, so the idea of writing on a regular basis was not strange to me.</p><p>On the other hand, it <i>was</i> a pretty strange "project" for me to undertake; taking on such a <i>public</i> thing to do, for someone whose natural preference was to remain eternally in the shadows where I would not be noticed.</p><p>A <i>lot</i> of water has passed under the bridge, since then. More than 250 posts/articles about various aspects of life as an HSP have been written... and that's just on<i> this</i> site.</p><p>Alas, I don't write here as much as I once did, but I still feel moderately proud of at least having written <i>something</i> every year for all twenty years! And I know that 20 years is akin to<i> ancient</i>, in an Internet context.</p><p>Somewhere along the way, I determined that I was not — after all — going to become someone who spends their life teaching HSPs, at least not in the formal sense. It was an idea I toyed with for about a decade... but it was just never a "shoe" that fit very well.</p><p>Instead, I followed a path people often do, when it comes to learning something: We learn what we need to about the fundamentals of some topic, incorporate the learning into our daily lives... and the object of our attention then moves from holding a "<i>centerpiece position</i>" in our lives to simply being something we are always <i>aware</i> of, while no longer our <i>primary defining characteristic</i>.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIcm5XrPL5rOv2ZRCsHm-edlsdi7UkOOEwkix1V6G2MFBRAJS97o-sGjk2m1pgeJeS6lGBvH6hXhmV6RLVE3egh2ukpyDrlmK2vSWouuwXAMVtAp6RmLuSDlq-u-qq52a38GRtaBhb1VLn5fGXzOdR-I6zFQpn6XinALkwRRTdbK7i6U_CzQ/s1600/0022-Daisies.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="980" data-original-width="1600" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIcm5XrPL5rOv2ZRCsHm-edlsdi7UkOOEwkix1V6G2MFBRAJS97o-sGjk2m1pgeJeS6lGBvH6hXhmV6RLVE3egh2ukpyDrlmK2vSWouuwXAMVtAp6RmLuSDlq-u-qq52a38GRtaBhb1VLn5fGXzOdR-I6zFQpn6XinALkwRRTdbK7i6U_CzQ/w400-h245/0022-Daisies.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p>That's not to say that I am no longer an HSP <i>(as I wrote about, earlier this year)</i>, it just means that I am no longer walking down the street waving a metaphorical "<i>HSP flag</i>," I am instead living my life as a <i>Human</i>, who just <i>happens to be</i> an HSP.</p><p>And I think that's a pretty good life, all in all!</p><p>Do I ever wish I were <i>not</i> an HSP? Honestly... no. I used to wish I were different, but along the way I made peace with exactly who I am, even if that sometimes doesn't suit everyone in my life. In the end, it's <i>my</i> life, not theirs!</p><p>Meanwhile, a heartfelt "thank you" to the <i>hundreds</i> of HSPs I have met face-to-face, as well as the <i>thousands</i> I have had contact with through online groups and forums... and especially to the <i>hundreds of thousands</i> who have visited these pages since 2002, and who continue to visit. It never ceases to amaze me just how <i>many</i> people come here... and if even <i>one</i> person finds something useful here that helps make their day/life a little easier, then this whole experiment will have been a success!</p><p>And — with a bit of luck — I will still be doing this long enough to have a 25th anniversary, as well!</p><hr /><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></p>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-79126585909601146972022-09-17T11:13:00.001-07:002022-09-26T11:42:21.068-07:00HSPs and Noise: Sometimes You Just Can't Get Away!<p>A few months back, we noticed that the neighbors across the street seemed to be getting a new roof. </p><p>Here in the rainy Pacific Northwest, that's a pretty normal thing during the summer: The roofers come in, rip the old tiles/shingles off, make a few repairs, lay down new paper, put on new roofing and all is well... usually in a matter of 3-4 days.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc4clipcn89toteOk_kPf4ZRd358QZT7S3qGHH2snw5tJHHS2OwgZL4B4nCJjvHJ1CeSJt_6J62OvYZT5_rAK0oYfyKPvCtVRdaIQJEnNoIcsX7aIBpmQIn_0jqvltptHBmP9S_OzdFXmTnt3fxexmURLxn-FCxQP8pZ7f4g7FCwU3ySVJ4w/s1200/0660-Mountains.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1145" data-original-width="1200" height="381" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc4clipcn89toteOk_kPf4ZRd358QZT7S3qGHH2snw5tJHHS2OwgZL4B4nCJjvHJ1CeSJt_6J62OvYZT5_rAK0oYfyKPvCtVRdaIQJEnNoIcsX7aIBpmQIn_0jqvltptHBmP9S_OzdFXmTnt3fxexmURLxn-FCxQP8pZ7f4g7FCwU3ySVJ4w/w400-h381/0660-Mountains.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p>After a week or so, we noticed that they seemed to be doing a <i>lot</i> of work with that roof. We still didn't pay it a lot of mind because sometimes there are joists with dry rot that need to be replaced.</p><p>After a month or so of hammering and machinery, it became painfully <i>(to our ears!)</i> obvious that they were not getting just "<i>a new roof</i>," but an entirely new roofline. The sudden appearance of a large crane truck was the final giveaway...</p><p>We started paying a little more attention, and it turned out that they were not just getting a <i>new roof and roofline</i>, but the entire house was being gutted from the inside out, and was essentially being rebuilt, in place. Not remodeled, <i>rebuilt</i>. </p><p>Side note: In case this sounds a bit odd, our local building codes are such that knocking down an old house and rebuilding is considered "new construction" and requires going through an elaborate permit process, while basically rebuilding a house with the original frame still standing is considered a "remodel" and is a much simpler permit process... even if you are basically spending $500,000 for a "new" house.</p><p>So what's my point, here? </p><p>Our bedroom and creative spaces face the street and we wake up to 8:00 power saws, hammering, sudden bangs, sanders and goodness knows what else, day after day after <i>day!</i> What's worse, I think they have some sort of "<i>on-time bonus</i>" going, because sometimes they are also working on weekends. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbD3NSzvd5Nlt653o-obV2kevwYHFCD3KAh9yLFPdihxPrfZgOXl-Ayd-AEj2EDmJ3KHiRyc-p19Y15Y7YyuSoYBE9DAZ_6IkjIPNXz8geLJ6_SIUm1rjUn1ofm7NxKdccnbrifCjJHjECTleoWtLpWZlr6Qyk8aOCjO_qrzhmzAiZnh5BIg/s1400/0663-Whitney04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="987" data-original-width="1400" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbD3NSzvd5Nlt653o-obV2kevwYHFCD3KAh9yLFPdihxPrfZgOXl-Ayd-AEj2EDmJ3KHiRyc-p19Y15Y7YyuSoYBE9DAZ_6IkjIPNXz8geLJ6_SIUm1rjUn1ofm7NxKdccnbrifCjJHjECTleoWtLpWZlr6Qyk8aOCjO_qrzhmzAiZnh5BIg/w400-h283/0663-Whitney04.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p>I suppose a lot of people might not be bothered because they would be "<i>away at work</i>" during the daytime hours, but both Sarah and I work from home, and we are both HSPs... and the non-stop noise feels<i> exhausting!</i></p><p>Being an HSP and living with unwelcome noise you can't get away from — and which is also perfectly <i>legal</i>, so you can't complain about it — can be extremely stressful. In some ways, it just sucks all the joy out of life... like sitting on the back porch, enjoying our afternoon coffee? Not so much. Tending to the back yard area? Not so much. All we can really do is <i>grin and bear it</i>, and enjoy the few moments of peace and quiet we do get.</p><p>So how <i>do</i> you deal with such situations, as an HSP? The best (<i>and possibly only</i>) suggestion I have is to remind yourself that projects like this tend to have an ending, after which things will return to normal.</p><p>In the meantime, there are always earplugs and noise-canceling headphones... </p><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></p>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-6012960057212793692022-08-02T13:01:00.027-07:002022-09-23T14:58:07.887-07:00HSPs, Responsibility, Conscientiousness... and Obligations<p>If you have ever completed Dr. Elaine Aron's "<b><a href="https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/" target="_blank">sensitivity self test,</a></b>" one of the items in the questionnaire reads "<i>I am conscientious</i>."</p><p>I suppose many people would like to think of themselves as conscientious, but HSPs seem to be especially so, sometimes to the point where it can start to feel like a <i>burden</i>, in some respects.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiewzJ6A9WLWDCCvNF13qJtqzx2kc7ZejPofFbwKxixvbRNzFdQgSy0vZCwcwe7l8T3Fyxefwdv4daaNUInHiJSz1nlDP2Azis_GT5ecygyoJ-iCzUxlzgKX81JTj8FNoaMjQKl16xWZMduP9mCIO8ujW5ne8WB5VP1RPtMXWnkchBuyb6AMQ/s1200/0628-BabyLupin.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1197" data-original-width="1200" height="399" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiewzJ6A9WLWDCCvNF13qJtqzx2kc7ZejPofFbwKxixvbRNzFdQgSy0vZCwcwe7l8T3Fyxefwdv4daaNUInHiJSz1nlDP2Azis_GT5ecygyoJ-iCzUxlzgKX81JTj8FNoaMjQKl16xWZMduP9mCIO8ujW5ne8WB5VP1RPtMXWnkchBuyb6AMQ/w400-h399/0628-BabyLupin.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p>It is that <i>burden aspect</i> I want to touch on, today...</p><p>As part of ongoing self-awareness of what it means to be highly sensitive, we each have to learn where our potential "<i>traps</i>" exist. By <i>traps</i>, I mean the places where the attributes of our personality that feel natural to might end up causing us suffering in our engagement with the external world.</p><p>In looking back across my life, one of my "traps" has been my tendency to keep my promises and keep engaging in a certain activity even if it is no longer appreciated (or taken for granted), and it increasingly feels like a drag and obligation to keep going.</p><p>"<i>Well, I promised I would... so I WILL keep doing this, even though I wish I didn't have to!</i>"</p><p>How often has that little voice spoken up, inside <i>your</i> head?</p><p>In time, I became aware that it is very easy for me to go from a place of happily volunteering to do something helpful — for another person, or an organization — to feeling like I have become trapped in something that now feels like an <i>obligation</i>... and offers me little of the joy I felt when I first got involved.</p><p>The "<i>problem</i>" is that there are many people in the greater world who discover that an HSP friend of theirs is super reliable and always does their best... something that can often be quite a rarity in our world!</p><p>And so, you might end up with a scenario like I have experienced a number of times, in which I was allegedly "<i>temporary assistance</i>" but because I have done an exemplary and efficient job — being "conscientious" — I seem to have become "<i>permanented</i>," without any conversation about it.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxteDG9OrqRgmLfERGZctCiV0ntgqNE8KTvFYwsvT6G97CybNr4LD7mT0soFyoNSV2J0jp1fePbW3E3XXmSSrpPs5JZxmbcdauAwbIaGPmCqW8YclKz6dUXaECn4ePfY-k_zIYgUMMHWPJSdTTlLZ3MBj-8dLInKweXIfc7bHCOqBupBz8Uw/s1155/0700-Roses.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1155" data-original-width="1100" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxteDG9OrqRgmLfERGZctCiV0ntgqNE8KTvFYwsvT6G97CybNr4LD7mT0soFyoNSV2J0jp1fePbW3E3XXmSSrpPs5JZxmbcdauAwbIaGPmCqW8YclKz6dUXaECn4ePfY-k_zIYgUMMHWPJSdTTlLZ3MBj-8dLInKweXIfc7bHCOqBupBz8Uw/w381-h400/0700-Roses.jpg" width="381" /></a></div><p>I volunteered to <i>help out</i>, not to take on a permanent obligation!</p><p>As I have aged, I have increasingly avoided responsibility, and tend to back away quietly, whenever someone needs help with some kind of project or problem. I do this because <i>responsibility</i> ends up feeling like an <i>obligation</i> pretty quickly, and in turn obligations soon enough leave me feeling overstimulated. </p><p>In case you are wondering <i>how</i> and <i>why</i>... it's because the obligations feel <i>frustrating</i>, and frustration = overstimulation.</p><p>"<i>But you used to be so nice and helpful!</i>"</p><p>Sometimes I hear those words, and they definitely sting a bit! But then I also pause and consider the fact that when others classify me as "<i>nice</i>," what they are sometimes <i>really</i> saying is "<i>you used to not have boundaries and I could walk all over you!</i>"</p><p>It's no fun feeling like you are being used, and having healthy personal boundaries is an essential part of living a balanced life, as a highly sensitive person.</p><p>One of the better truisms I have heard along the way is this: "<i>No is a complete sentence!</i>"</p><p>Worth keeping in mind, as part of our self-awareness and setting of personal boundaries!</p><hr /><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></p>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-68930552915114442192022-06-25T16:21:00.066-07:002022-09-01T16:44:09.250-07:00Life Feels "More Normal," but Will it EVER Be?<p>Midsummer has passed.</p><p>Were I back in Denmark, we would have had the annual bonfires on the beach to celebrate summer. Instead, I find myself sitting here, revisiting memories of the last time we were in Denmark.</p><p>It was in 2015, and things were "<i>normal</i>," then. Sometimes I wonder whether the pre-Covid world really <i>was</i> "normal?" </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKyTjcBZBeOyrz_BpfS-Pi8A3jUq2LxEKV8jjb41S85VODJ3oLcWasydbI-nBqPqLpfNcNdh-TMr7wRUO6ejj4C2UlyMkY3-tYx7m6HoP_8TzQKIzBumD59WceINofQA-YO-xwTSTeXzgtXLFe0uJh1l5EjMq8YzwVr-qnAbCA5yqtgUrUKQ/s1662/0195-OakCreek3.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1662" data-original-width="1300" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKyTjcBZBeOyrz_BpfS-Pi8A3jUq2LxEKV8jjb41S85VODJ3oLcWasydbI-nBqPqLpfNcNdh-TMr7wRUO6ejj4C2UlyMkY3-tYx7m6HoP_8TzQKIzBumD59WceINofQA-YO-xwTSTeXzgtXLFe0uJh1l5EjMq8YzwVr-qnAbCA5yqtgUrUKQ/w313-h400/0195-OakCreek3.jpg" width="313" /></a></div><p>Seems like life is slowly returning to some semblance of normalcy, even though I am not entirely sure what that even <i>means</i>. Restrictions are being lifted, and now travel to Denmark has become rather easier than it used to be, with the requirement to have valid "vaccine passports" having been dropped, at least in Denmark.</p><p>I bring up "normal" because it's a term we HSPs often find ourselves thinking about, although not in connection with Covid-19 and the world. What would it be like to be "<i>normal</i>," some of us wonder.</p><p>Over the years, this has sometimes become a heated discussion in some of the online forums, HSP meetups and retreats I have attended. I have never quite been able to get behind the whole idea that somehow "normal" is <i>better</i> than the way I am. I can recognize how normal might be more <i>convenient</i> in certain respects, but that isn't necessarily <i>better</i>.</p><p>Meanwhile, is humanity any better off, as a result of having had to pause and look at a greater threat... one that kept us locked in our homes (in many cases) for extended periods of time.</p><p>Will people <i>remember</i> any of the insights they might have gained, as a result of this involuntary introspection? Or will things — barring another severe outbreak — simply return to the way they were <i>before</i> Covid-19?</p><p>I was already a cautious type person before this all started, and now I am even <i>more</i> of a person who always thinks things through before taking a course of action. No impulsiveness here!</p><p>The feeling I am left with is that the entire <i>idea</i> of a return visit to Denmark doesn't feel as <i>joyful</i> as it once did, almost like the past 2 1/2 years or so cast a permanent shadow that no degree of superficial normalcy will be able to remove.</p><p>Thanks for stopping by!</p><hr /><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></p>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-29418574963596804622022-05-24T10:28:00.002-07:002022-09-26T10:34:39.299-07:00HSP Living: Construction... and DestructionWhen I was a child — long before anyone knew such a thing as "Being a Highly Sensitive Person" existed — I often found myself wondering at the inconsistencies of the world... and especially the inconsistencies in the <i>people</i> around me.<div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtlCzVPVxQNzIWjhUpLv-kiCRiYredWcWYuFcW9NcOp2yv2dIty7Wz_Z0d7K70jj-RvXvNvozNfEZKoHgX6vA0Au7pRcX96LekAdUxOUQDNW8cCsIlRgWuDpdnL68lhBoNSkEJ2Qeu6gUWpanahsVEkFPAuzZJpPeVV4GAMkhc-4Xhm0Do4A/s1628/0112-Magenta.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1628" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtlCzVPVxQNzIWjhUpLv-kiCRiYredWcWYuFcW9NcOp2yv2dIty7Wz_Z0d7K70jj-RvXvNvozNfEZKoHgX6vA0Au7pRcX96LekAdUxOUQDNW8cCsIlRgWuDpdnL68lhBoNSkEJ2Qeu6gUWpanahsVEkFPAuzZJpPeVV4GAMkhc-4Xhm0Do4A/w295-h400/0112-Magenta.jpg" width="295" /></a></div><div>The inner conundrum — which is one I continue to puzzle over today, almost 50 years later — always was centered around the same core question:<br />
<br />
<i>"Why — for so many people — do anger, violence and DE-struction seem preferable over love, friendship and CON-struction?"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Now, I know a million psychological and "consciousness" platitudes that seem to let violence, anger and destructiveness off the hook by serving up a hot steaming dish of rationalizations for those who are "in pain" and "suffering" and so forth and so on.<br />
<br />
Maybe there are some nuggets of truth in there, but these mostly feel like platitudes; clever sayings that allow some to sound "wise and superior" without actually addressing this troubling side of the human condition, head on. Meanwhile, we are actually enabling bad behavior by teaching that such action really does not have consequences. So why better yourself, if staying the same — however negative — always earns you a "hall pass?"</div><div><br /></div><div>Some argue that we simply "<i>can't help it</i>" because it's human nature to behave in such fashions. But that suggests people aren't capable of making <i>conscious choices</i> about their behavior.<br />
<br />
I bring these ideas into question because I have suffered and been in pain plenty, thank you... yet my response to these states <i>(even in my highly UN-enlightened days)</i> was definitely NOT "<i>anger, violence and destruction.</i>" Don't get me wrong... I'm not arguing that we have a choice in <i>experiencing</i> these things, just that we have a choice in what we <i>do</i> with those experiences.</div><div><br /></div><div>We have a <i>choice</i> to become personally accountable for our actions, rather than sliding into the "<i>I can't help it, because _____</i>" line of thinking.</div><div><br /></div><div>But living consciously is also a lot of work, and some of it can be rather emotionally disturbing, as we uncover that we are perhaps not really the "<i>nice people</i>" we've built our self-image around.</div><div><br /></div><div>It all starts with self-awareness, and a sincere desire to change for the better...</div><div><br /></div><div><hr /><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></p></div>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-57798580385013106522022-04-08T13:02:00.065-07:002022-09-23T13:25:15.614-07:00HSP Life: Do we get More Sensitive as we Age?<p>One of the questions I have been asked a <i>lot</i> over the years is whether or not we get more sensitive, as we age.</p><p>It's definitely a worthy question, and many people I have talked to are convinced that their sensitivity has increased as they entered their 40's 50's, 60's and beyond.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilQpSrvmtF1POOCjpF8rXXhEB8WjPtufKdtakNvEztmGTP5a3KJkFRL6wPpv6tDTJIdKf7MlNpzRGDJSlP23pvfqPv9wP9OHqmP5eFVL1Vxx-JDRuheeCIUV6pkgms3uKF4aYVfSxYVWZuJiZV7V_CGRIZQR_x1XX0D1vuOec06chJSpMrRg/s993/0304-RussianSage.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="993" data-original-width="651" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilQpSrvmtF1POOCjpF8rXXhEB8WjPtufKdtakNvEztmGTP5a3KJkFRL6wPpv6tDTJIdKf7MlNpzRGDJSlP23pvfqPv9wP9OHqmP5eFVL1Vxx-JDRuheeCIUV6pkgms3uKF4aYVfSxYVWZuJiZV7V_CGRIZQR_x1XX0D1vuOec06chJSpMrRg/w263-h400/0304-RussianSage.jpg" width="263" /></a></div><p>Personally speaking, I don't really believe that we get <i>more</i> sensitive as we age. I think we just become <i>more aware</i> of our sensitivities. We also gain more life experience, meaning that we are more readily able to be tuned in to what's going on with us, in terms of emotions, stimulation level, and so forth.</p><p>To be a little more specific, when we start to feel overstimulated in a given situation we grow more aware of the fact that what's happening is <i>overstimulation</i> rather than something else like anxiety or nervousness. When we were younger, it was easier to just overlook or tune these things out. This heightened awareness doesn't necessarily mean that we are <i>more</i> sensitive it just means we're <i>more tuned in </i>to our sensitivity. </p><p>Since I have experienced that growing awareness in my own life as I have aged — I will turn 62, later this year — the outcome is that I tend to <i>step away</i> from more situations than I did in my youth. To the casual observer number that might look like I have become more sensitive than I used to be, because I am a less willing participant in what I generally think of as "<i>noisy activities</i>."</p><p>From the inside, however, I really don't feel any more <i>sensitive </i>than I ever was. </p><p>This particular topic has been discussed at great length at workshops and in a number of online HSP forums and other discussion groups and people never seem to arrive at a firm conclusion. </p><p>I am just not convinced that we become more <i>sensitive</i> as we age, I just think we become less tolerant of/willing to deal with overstimulation when we know we're facing a situation in which it is likely to happen. </p><p>I'll finish with the reminder that this is just my experience, and my opinion... and yours might be quite different!</p><hr /><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></p>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-77381983683526857232022-02-22T19:43:00.078-08:002022-08-16T21:40:16.987-07:00What do You Want to Write About Today?<p>One of the things I often struggle with is that I have far "too many" interests.</p><p>Maybe we should scratch that and instead say there are far too many things in life that are <i>interesting</i>. Just because something is <i>interesting</i> doesn't necessarily make them "an interest," just means something interesting enough that I want to find out more.</p><p>And that's how I often end up going off track and wasting time doing something other than what I'm supposed to be doing.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh22CsvRyh-sC19Fvk8vllzK3ZSRvZcXfCwzTq6P77xm18c5mFu7ieiZb58W9KcV7c7Dog3MBOsSSMZRA5IuVXkI7Qop6DbIe3i3YhT8W7KMAhZ8f-MM57cqg9SynuPt5GPt4Wdza_WwumwOfVOjTl-2lk_uGFvb8QeO1_7PFrLOuI3cvFscA/s979/0309-Geranium.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="979" data-original-width="850" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh22CsvRyh-sC19Fvk8vllzK3ZSRvZcXfCwzTq6P77xm18c5mFu7ieiZb58W9KcV7c7Dog3MBOsSSMZRA5IuVXkI7Qop6DbIe3i3YhT8W7KMAhZ8f-MM57cqg9SynuPt5GPt4Wdza_WwumwOfVOjTl-2lk_uGFvb8QeO1_7PFrLOuI3cvFscA/w348-h400/0309-Geranium.jpg" width="348" /></a></div><p>It is one of the sometimes challenging side effects of not only being an HSP, but being an HSP who is afflicted with that thing our modern society likes to call ADHD. Of course I'm not particularly afflicted with the "H" (Hyperactivity) part of ADHD, mostly I'm just chronically inattentive and daydreaming.</p><p>When it comes to the question of "<i>what do I want to write about today</i>," I don't pose it merely as a reflection of what I'm going to write on <i>this</i> blog but as a reflection of the fact that I have <i>multiple</i> blogs and websites that I could be writing something on.</p><p>But let's make it one level more complicated!</p><p>I can ask myself the question of what do I want to <i>write</i> about today, but there's also a greater question of whether I want to work on <i>art</i> today, or should I work on my <i>stamp business</i> today, or work on <i>editing</i> today, or might I end up working on something completely <i>different</i> today.</p><p>That's a different "side effect," namely the side effect of being independent and self-employed, rather than having a structured job that I need to go to at a specific time every day to do some specific kind of task.</p><p>I gave up having a structured job many years ago. On the balance I would say that I wouldn't trade in the life I now have for anything, but one of the benefits that having a <i>regular job</i> does offer is a kind of <i>structure</i> and that can be important if you are naturally inclined to be wildly <i>un</i>structured in your approach to living.</p><p>And so, I come here asking myself the question what do I want to write about today? And what do I even want to <i>do</i> today?</p><p>Let me underscore for the record that this isn't necessarily an HSP issue, it's just a <i>being alive</i> issue in my world. Still, I <i>am</i> an HSP and this is a blog about life as an HSP so somehow there would be at least some peripheral relevance to my posting this.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFPF4gImgXlQuODbJLGOaCZpjpbq5yzt1PmypSRY6vlMb18w6tKcChq88bSYKOxM3UhT_E__Vcogh9iwKgYlZybOng_H74eVQjF0ENALYZcqOPda7WteJuWNejUbaKc39sgvlhc5EPEjMPJyFXAlXPva2WmXdDQFje4mRk_t3JJkGtzdBngw/s819/0319-Lavender.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="819" data-original-width="625" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFPF4gImgXlQuODbJLGOaCZpjpbq5yzt1PmypSRY6vlMb18w6tKcChq88bSYKOxM3UhT_E__Vcogh9iwKgYlZybOng_H74eVQjF0ENALYZcqOPda7WteJuWNejUbaKc39sgvlhc5EPEjMPJyFXAlXPva2WmXdDQFje4mRk_t3JJkGtzdBngw/w305-h400/0319-Lavender.jpg" width="305" /></a></div><p>Much as I hate to admit it, the only approach I have really found to effectively manage my tendency to be very scattered is to make lists and schedules.</p><p>Ironic that, given that I hate being constrained by rules and schedules! And yet? Here I am touting the benefits of precisely those things.</p><p>So what is this post <i>really</i> about?</p><p>Well, it's about the fact that we shouldn't wholesale reject any one thing just because we don't like what it suggests or represents... because ultimately it tends to turn out that there are <i>parts</i> of both things we <i>like</i> and things we <i>don't</i> like that become useful to us and parts of those same things that are not useful to us.</p><p>Yes, it sounds a bit convoluted, I know.</p><p>The challenge becomes a discern what's useful, and then to make the most of ways to maximize the benefit for our own purposes.</p><p>I don't claim to have any secrets to doing so! It's a constant work in progress… as is, I suppose, this entire experiment of living. </p><p>And with <i>that</i> thought, I'm probably going to go somewhere else, and write something else!</p><hr /><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></p>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-21385541717262026292022-02-09T13:16:00.021-08:002022-09-04T13:39:37.405-07:00A Life of Noise Sensitivity and Feeling Like I was BORN Overstimulated<p>Sometimes I have a feeling that I was actually <i>born</i> overwhelmed (or "overstimulated"), as it were. </p><p>It seems like as far as back as I can remember I was always very hesitant to get involved in anything that made noise or in anything that had "flashy moving colors" or anything like that. At the same time, it seemed like I always wanted to do very "adult" things when I was a young kid... even though my mother was always "strongly encouraging" (read: "<i>Forcing</i>") me to get out there and do things that allegedly "healthy" kids were supposed to do. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCk9dUwV2nFhcQIMEb3vKgZc_Wlryk8r1UYOoQ-Qo0JI0D_f_aCwakK1EY6jyzBJFVyQ-NVO3AdmAnNAFwhHRLndrg00l2kPWQh7UozkC7pe1cLqZxvbNL9FCqgJcnkwvaqYjCE_MucLbp3sL1ywknQiD7v0Y_K77WNtGhfbsqYerZgETleg/s1600/0228-Hellebore.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1167" data-original-width="1600" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCk9dUwV2nFhcQIMEb3vKgZc_Wlryk8r1UYOoQ-Qo0JI0D_f_aCwakK1EY6jyzBJFVyQ-NVO3AdmAnNAFwhHRLndrg00l2kPWQh7UozkC7pe1cLqZxvbNL9FCqgJcnkwvaqYjCE_MucLbp3sL1ywknQiD7v0Y_K77WNtGhfbsqYerZgETleg/w400-h291/0228-Hellebore.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p>But I just didn't want to; it felt like having my head inside a garbage grinder or a drum that somebody was randomly beating on.</p><p>When I look back at many of my moments of great anxiety and terror, I can also clearly recall that <i>most</i> of them involved something that was very loud and in my face and made me feel like I just was going to explode if they continued. And it was on occasions like that represented pretty much the <i>only</i> times I remember the words "<i>don't mind him, he's just too sensitive!</i>" actually coming out of my mother's mouth.</p><p>If course, they were far more of a <i>criticism and excuse</i> than any kind of supportiveness of my sensitivity.</p><p>My maternal grandfather thought I would be interested in seeing the trains, so we'd walk down to the nearby rail line. I did love looking at the trains... as long as they were just parked. When they were actually <i>passing by</i>, I wanted to be several hundred yards away!</p><p>I just wanted things around me to be quiet; soft.</p><p>Of course, they never were... except when I'd ride my bicycle out into the nearby woods to be with myself and nature.</p><p>Ironically, I ended up working at my dad's bottle cap factory when I was in my teens... one of the noisiest environments you could possibly imagine. Think of the sound of a cascade of metal bottle caps raining onto a resonant hard surface, and you get the idea. I wore earplugs and gradually adjusted to the dull roar because about $8 an hour was a LOT of money in 1974, and when you were just a 14-year old kid!</p><p>Noise has an interesting effect on my system... it doesn't matter <i>what</i> the source is, it feels like it is slowly sucking the life force out of my very being. That can even be applied to ostensibly "enjoyable" noise like rock concerts, or even loud car stereos.</p><p>Needless to say, I never went through a "headbanger music" phase!</p><p>I still go to great lengths to avoid noisy situations, and turn down many invitations if I get the sense that they will be very loud. My preferred noise level is to sit somewhere with no human-made sounds, just listening to the sound of waves and wind rustling the leaves of the trees.</p><hr /><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></p>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-16937714812159585572022-01-07T10:46:00.063-08:002022-09-26T11:12:44.569-07:00Reflection: 25 Years of HSP-ness!<p>In early January 1997, I found myself at a Borders bookstore in Austin, Texas, looking forward to an afternoon of looking at books and spending a $50 gift certificate I had received for Christmas.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGrvIdL6Gwh4Uq4lALXypWq3V7UuMBzyTWGMgjNmvEHs941xyUe9QC_I53HWXGPgJ46dwHslpkHeqcc2eNGhBQfWIvqxALy3m86dTJ__R65p-P2rZ3w7twl5aLWak-GTgdgF6PyxALgssJUk2_ZOXBmVvqiqYuof3D4WVRJcCmJmAwLW8WNA/s800/Elaines-book.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="541" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGrvIdL6Gwh4Uq4lALXypWq3V7UuMBzyTWGMgjNmvEHs941xyUe9QC_I53HWXGPgJ46dwHslpkHeqcc2eNGhBQfWIvqxALy3m86dTJ__R65p-P2rZ3w7twl5aLWak-GTgdgF6PyxALgssJUk2_ZOXBmVvqiqYuof3D4WVRJcCmJmAwLW8WNA/w270-h400/Elaines-book.jpg" width="270" /></a></div><p>It was on that day I accidentally stumbled across Elaine Aron's "<i>The Highly Sensitive Person</i>" for the first time. I say "accidentally," because the book had been left behind by someone in the <i>travel</i> section.</p><p>I won't go into detail about that day — I have covered that elsewhere in these pages — but this morning I thought about how <i>twenty-five years</i> is really a long time. And yet? It doesn't seem<i> that</i> long ago. </p><p>The book was pretty new when I found it; it was first published in 1996. </p><p>So what have we learned, since then? What have <i>I</i> learned, since then?</p><p>Personally speaking, I have learned that there truly is a <i>reason</i> for why I often feel a little out of step with my surroundings, and the people in it.</p><p>Meanwhile, I have also come to embrace that "<i>Being an HSP</i>" is not some kind of excuse or "<i>hall pass</i>" that allows me to get special treatment. My sensitivity is merely a <i>fact of life</i>, much like someone might live with allergies, or a tendency to get sunburned very easily. Knowing that I am an HSP simply allows me to make somewhat more informed choices for my life. And that's a good thing.</p><p>Because I write a blog about high sensitivity, I sometimes get asked whether I consider myself to be part of the "<i>HSP movement.</i>" I tend to distance myself a little bit from that, primarily because movements — whereas they definitely can be beneficial — tend to come at the world from a position of <i>victimhood</i>. And I'm not a <i>victim</i> of my sensitivities.</p><p>I simply offer my sincere <i>perspective</i>, with no attachment to whether or not other people agree with them. But if some of these words are helpful to people... then that's a good "<i>movement!</i>"</p><hr /><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></p>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-19294550788740508642021-12-09T21:03:00.004-08:002021-12-09T21:03:36.177-08:00At The Edge of Tears: Reflections on the General State of the World<p>One of those “<i>things</i>” that seem to go hand in hand with being an HSP — I'm sure this is no new news to anyone — is that we tend to break into tears very easily.</p><p>Lately, I have increasingly found myself in a freame of mind where I feel like I am almost always on the edge of tears... for no particular reason.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiNSiRdk3q63rueZ1KUDQ_72CW-2HzcV_-rxFdOyLlH271gq12wnb80ndJaDKs1ZT4mE-crpnENVpuzOwj0zNAb38u8W9rae0MmFaUJ3L_81TyGvTnMK39lIJQT_7OmWdu2ODdOmAok9NNfewT7v8Ji_4CV4fKHmmU0dgMA0Pm0qVvWWv8f5Q=s1366" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1366" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiNSiRdk3q63rueZ1KUDQ_72CW-2HzcV_-rxFdOyLlH271gq12wnb80ndJaDKs1ZT4mE-crpnENVpuzOwj0zNAb38u8W9rae0MmFaUJ3L_81TyGvTnMK39lIJQT_7OmWdu2ODdOmAok9NNfewT7v8Ji_4CV4fKHmmU0dgMA0Pm0qVvWWv8f5Q=w351-h400" width="351" /></a></div>I go through the usual “<i>12 point check</i>” for myself, trying to determine whether this sadness is coming from somebody else rather than myself; trying to remember whether there is some important anniversary of a tragic event that I've overlooked somehow; considering whether I got some bad news from a friend via social media... but these days I always come up blank.<p></p><p>This resigns me to the fact that what keeps me at the edge of tears all the time is simply <i>the world at large</i>. As best I can describe it these particular tears are related to a pervasive sense of <strike>frustration, exasperation, resignation, sadness, disappointment</strike>... I just can't <i>quite</i> come up with a word that concisely and elegantly encapsulates my mind.</p><p><i>Whatever</i> it is, I just want to cry about it.</p><p>I think perhaps what I am so often tempted to weep for this is the sensation that we live in a world that on <i>one</i> level seems to be changing constantly and yet when we pull back the curtain and look at the underpinnings of humanity <i>nothing has really changed</i>.</p><p>I have wandered around on this planet for a little over 60 years now, and we <i>still</i> have wars and we <i>still</i> have famine and we <i>still</i> have domestic violence and we <i>still</i> have child abuse and we <i>still</i> have addiction and we <i>still</i> have pretty much every problem “<i>the adults</i>” were talking about when I was a little kid.</p><p>How can that <i>not</i> make a conscious and thinking person feel sad?</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiCo8Dp0GebaoF8Pjn9Adjp5BsEBiouxkAyqBlNbqHWZhRLby1fl82iP1LK8ruztPKXYVQ_OCN4P8BT3o6dhl_Tt1UAHJ2xf6DnVsCx7RTt-ZJc5r2imBhSDFL7My6z0xRQRAEMdoO3g3caKvyijdj4VPqlEmK7LLKganMNKVD-EtE6h4p6BA=s1600" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1109" data-original-width="1600" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiCo8Dp0GebaoF8Pjn9Adjp5BsEBiouxkAyqBlNbqHWZhRLby1fl82iP1LK8ruztPKXYVQ_OCN4P8BT3o6dhl_Tt1UAHJ2xf6DnVsCx7RTt-ZJc5r2imBhSDFL7My6z0xRQRAEMdoO3g3caKvyijdj4VPqlEmK7LLKganMNKVD-EtE6h4p6BA=w400-h278" width="400" /></a></div>It's tempting to take the easy way out and make COVID-19 the scapegoat, but that really doesn't address the deeper issue. COVID is merely a <i>symptom</i> of a world out of balance; a world that has been out of balance for a very long time.<p></p><p><i>Not related...</i></p><p>I am writing as much as ever these days; this blog has just not been a venue I have been using very often. I'm sorry for that. It's not that I don't consider myself an HSP anymore <i>(of course I'm still in HSP!),</i> it's just that in the last few years things other than “<i>hello, I'm an HSP!</i>” have been taking center stage in my life.</p><p>All in all, I think that is part of the natural evolution we undergo as we familiarize ourselves with high sensitivity as an inborn trait. It's all exciting and takes center stage in our existence for a while, but there comes a time — unless we are called to teach — where we simply <i>move on</i> and incorporate the knowledge we have into our daily lives, without making it the <i>only</i> thing we're ever thinking about.</p><p>And yet? From time to time I long to slip back into that mode where “<i>being an HSP</i>” becomes almost like my <i>hobby</i>; a point of comfort I could always return to and seek refuge in whenever the world seemed a bit rough.</p><p>"<i>Ah well, I'm a Highly Sensitive Person, so therefore...</i>"</p><p>Anyway, I'm rambling a bit here so I guess I had better post this before I get <i>too</i> longwinded!</p><hr /><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></p>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-2564457595741749722021-10-15T10:57:00.001-07:002022-09-03T10:59:35.124-07:00Moment for reflection: No, I Didn’t Stop “Being an HSP!”<p>As I sit here reflecting on a rainy afternoon, I found myself pondering a question somebody asked me not too long ago: they quite sincerely commented on my Facebook page as to ”<i>why I had stopped being an HSP.</i>”</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8_6FwvlBOTGak06OUdC0Re3FSUqOZeGdpCBEunQk7xSB-OWxZAg5_Y3psiZ0Yp6CF8Z9kaZAGcevu0Bh-di6Ixyjw3ZL2ZIV5Stn1W3p87cskc-zwDut9ye-YWj_YeDrbEXqx1ddJXGfXKvTgtqNXmALJQ-pIrt-weKNw2G4ckGVRRmnJlw/s1419/0515-Buckeye.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1419" data-original-width="1000" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8_6FwvlBOTGak06OUdC0Re3FSUqOZeGdpCBEunQk7xSB-OWxZAg5_Y3psiZ0Yp6CF8Z9kaZAGcevu0Bh-di6Ixyjw3ZL2ZIV5Stn1W3p87cskc-zwDut9ye-YWj_YeDrbEXqx1ddJXGfXKvTgtqNXmALJQ-pIrt-weKNw2G4ckGVRRmnJlw/w283-h400/0515-Buckeye.jpg" width="283" /></a></div><p>I felt a little taken aback by the question because you can't <i>stop</i> being an HSP, since we're dealing with an ingrown trait here... and the person wondering was an HSP, herself.</p><p>But I chose not to fall into "<i>affronted and reactionary</i>" mode and instead pondered the deeper meaning of the inquiry. </p><p>The point , of course, was that I didn't seem to be writing about HSPs anymore, and I wasn't active on HSP forums the way I had been in the past, and I had to confess that I <i>had</i> reached a point where the whole highly sensitive person community just didn't seem like it was very interesting to me anymore. I could even look at the posting archive of this HSP Notes blog and see a distinct dropoff in the frequency of my new contributions.</p><p>The person who had commented was not actually being critical, they were lamenting my absence. </p><p>It will soon be <i>25 years</i> since I first came across the term “Highly Sensitive Person.” That could very well be one-third of my life!</p><p>I think it would be safe to say that we all go through an evolution of sorts from the first moment we learn that there is actually a <i>name</i> for this “thing” that we are to the present moment we find ourselves in. </p><p>Some years back I reached the point where I realized that the statement “<i>I am an HSP</i>” no longer was appropriate as the centerpiece of my self-definition. Yes, I <i>am</i> still in HSP, but I don't really have anything to prove and I don't really have a world I need to change anymore. That is, I'm not on some kind of active crusade to make everybody aware of the trait of high sensitivity. </p><p>There was a time when I was, and I even thought I would end up teaching and giving workshops about the HSP trait. But I realized that it was/is not really who I am! </p><p>In other words, I have moved on to the <i>next</i> phase of my life, one in which I am simply <i>a PERSON living their life</i> and “being an HSP” is simply one of <i>many</i> attributes that describe me. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizCs6cphxPD4CmlgUhia41ngyzHnHDzQw92-Sk2PNkI_sz4lSUcg6vItQN4TP-SXtn7_1ZXqc5zIqwLe-Mc_sQyWy1YVK9dmelVaK1PMXk4tEY1wspil-3HsASzPfr4v7sqc8_TP_jUe6t76RSz75U3mePWwXIDlN-JTUwd4o1vsEvfQI1rw/s1527/0574-Yellow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1527" data-original-width="1100" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizCs6cphxPD4CmlgUhia41ngyzHnHDzQw92-Sk2PNkI_sz4lSUcg6vItQN4TP-SXtn7_1ZXqc5zIqwLe-Mc_sQyWy1YVK9dmelVaK1PMXk4tEY1wspil-3HsASzPfr4v7sqc8_TP_jUe6t76RSz75U3mePWwXIDlN-JTUwd4o1vsEvfQI1rw/w289-h400/0574-Yellow.jpg" width="289" /></a></div><p>I suppose this is a change on some level, because there was a time when “teaching” <i>was</i> more important to me. I can't say exactly when it happened, but at some point I decided that I'm really not a teacher and that there are others out there who do a much better job of it than I do. That doesn't mean that I don't <i>enjoy</i> passing along information to somebody who's struggling to find their path through life, it just means I don't go actively <i>seeking</i> it anymore. </p><p>As such, the “HSP Notes” blog and website is perhaps becoming less about parts of the trait itself, and more about how a human being — <i>who happens to be an HSP</i> — is living their life. </p><p>Somebody else had asked me if I had “<i>grown bored</i>” with being part of the HSP community. The answer to that is also “<i>no</i>.” More than anything, it is as I determined before: that I don't really have a great interest in being a teacher, nor in being a "banner bearer" for the HSP movement.</p><p>And with that, we can perhaps find another puzzle piece in the evolution of an HSP: I have reached a place in my life where I openly embrace what I want to do, rather than feel pressured to do what others think I “<i>should</i>” do. </p><p>And I believe that's an important point to make here. I think it is true of many highly sensitive people that they tend to succumb to feelings of “obligation” rather more often than is healthy, and when that really isn't their highest and best path. </p><p>Anyway, I felt compelled to put out a few words while I'm sitting here in the middle of doing some minor redesign work on the HSP Notes website.</p><p><i>Part</i> of what I will be doing, is adding more links to the other places where I write. That, in itself, is another of my puzzle pieces: I still love to write but my writing has changed from writing about being an HSP to writing whatever it is I want to write, albeit <i>through the eyes of an HSP</i>. Maybe those two sound very similar but they're actually a bit different. </p><p>How different? Well, that remains to be explored!</p><p>As always, thanks for stopping by!</p><hr /><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></p>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-31242300986341526492021-04-02T17:02:00.010-07:002021-04-04T20:31:50.496-07:00Just Because You WANT it Doesn't Make it TRUE!<div>Some things come to me as fairly clear<i> ideas</i>, but are not easy to explain, all the same.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sometimes HSP's seem to run into some trouble because there is a big difference between <i>having philosophical leanings</i> and actually having a <i>genetic trait</i>. What I mean to say is that simply "<i>feeling very sensitive</i>" is a different thing from actually being <i>hard wired</i> to be highly sensitive .</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdujD8qK9MlnGAF4P0U5Rz7tx_Dkqgogahyphenhypheng_bO9Kw6bzGdyQsHMX2uuMClsvKqAVSYaqSFmFb8fJ5KBSGBJ5EHdDME60NX4cOpG1FahfE0RV0nqV6UunhpdCocQrEVvwjKQ2w/s1200/20150910-river.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="938" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdujD8qK9MlnGAF4P0U5Rz7tx_Dkqgogahyphenhypheng_bO9Kw6bzGdyQsHMX2uuMClsvKqAVSYaqSFmFb8fJ5KBSGBJ5EHdDME60NX4cOpG1FahfE0RV0nqV6UunhpdCocQrEVvwjKQ2w/w313-h400/20150910-river.jpg" width="313" /></a></div><br /><div>People ascribe certain attributes to the trait of High Sensitivity. One of the things I wanted to touch on here, is the fact that a lot of people who attribute these characteristics to HSP's are — in fact — not HSP's themselves .</div><div><br /></div><div>One of the common sources for unusual dichotomies and misinformed thinking is the field of metaphysics. People claim that they're "<i>highly sensitive</i>" because they enjoy talking to trees and have lots of healing crystals in their personal space and perhaps possess certain extrasensory gifts.</div><div><br /></div><div>What I was hoping to clarify in this particular situation is that indeed there <i>are</i> lots of HSP's who enjoy crystals and talking to trees and are into metaphysics, however whereas there might be a <i>correlation</i>, such apparent "<i>sensitivities</i>" are not necessarily an indicator of being an HSP, in the scientific context Elaine Aron defined. </div><div><br /></div><div>Let's face it, there are also <i>lots</i> of people who enjoy crystals and metaphysics and astrology who have <i>nothing</i> to do with being a Highly Sensitive Person.</div><div><br /></div><div>Understand that the trait of high sensitivity is a <i>genetic</i> trait not something you can just <i>choose</i> one day because of an interest, nor is it even something you can <i>become</i>. </div><div><br /></div><div>You either <i>are</i>, or you're not. </div><div><br /></div><div>Lest this all sounds a bit <i>IN</i>-sensitive, keep in mind that when you are trying to live an <i>authentic</i> life, you gain <i>nothing</i> by pretending to be something you are not... however <i>interesting</i> or <i>alluring</i> that "<i>something</i>" might be!</div><div><br /></div><div><hr /><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span><br /></div>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-24165911597993273462021-03-02T12:06:00.018-08:002021-04-12T12:27:41.164-07:00HSPs, Overwhelm and Procrastination<p>I tend to be a horrible procrastinator!</p><p>Now, I'm not for a moment trying to claim that procrastination is <i>part</i> of the HSP trait... but the more I think about it, the more I recognize that sometimes there is a link there.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_8IuACG7XJzfItPbjZV6bzmusQMOr1gveSKd-eAaGpZNNPsFyz7072xhBV6DHnCbQY1FSzy8q7tFMzmiftxGojaODaysCifCRNzDGr-dqM0V2AfVJDUCHx8NTmA2aEIePAOYz/s1002/0207-PinkRoses.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1002" data-original-width="850" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_8IuACG7XJzfItPbjZV6bzmusQMOr1gveSKd-eAaGpZNNPsFyz7072xhBV6DHnCbQY1FSzy8q7tFMzmiftxGojaODaysCifCRNzDGr-dqM0V2AfVJDUCHx8NTmA2aEIePAOYz/w339-h400/0207-PinkRoses.jpg" width="339" /></a></div><br />For example, I will put off doing things I "<i>have to</i>" do, when I also know that those things are likely to leave me feeling overstimulated and strung out. <p></p><p>That one's pretty obvious! I believe that happens to many who are Highly Sensitive.</p><p>However, more often I end up procrastinating because I will sit down in the morning and look at all the things that need to be done on that day, and then I will realize that the workload at hand is <i>huge</i>, and then I will start feeling overwhelmed because of the realization that there is <i>no way</i> I'll get it all done.</p><p>And when I start feeling overwhelmed, I can also sense that the procrastination starts to set in... as a result of feeling frustration and futility. Feeling overwhelmed knocks my <i>actual productivity</i> for a loop, and I end up sitting there, sorting my pencils or something else... a bit like a deer caught in the proverbial headlights.</p><p>"<i>What's the point of even STARTING, when it's perfectly obvious I won't be able to FINISH?</i>"</p><p>This is a part of my life that has become more pronounced as I have aged and have realized that there so often is "<i>more LIFE than there is ME to deal with it.</i>"</p><p>When I was younger, I would just forge ahead regardless, exhaust myself and end up feeling depressed and dejected at my "<i>inability</i>" to handle life's workload.</p><p>There days, I'm far less willing to end up like that.</p><p>With that, comes the realization of just <i>how important</i> it is for HSPs to strive for "<i>simplicity</i>" in their lives. The fewer "<i>plates</i>" we have to try to keep spinning, the more likely we are to be able to manage that creeping sensation that we're about to become overwhelmed by the task(s) at hand. </p><p>Simplify, simplify, <i>simplify</i>...</p><p><br /></p><hr /><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></p>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-28790229531843997732020-11-05T20:28:00.014-08:002020-11-09T20:52:00.178-08:00HSPs Supporting HSPs: An Invitation<p>One of the things I like to do from time to time is talk about how we HSPs can support each other... in a world <i>(sadly!)</i> where we often don't get all that much support.</p><p>I don't often promote things like events and workshops directly, but in these days of uncertainty and change, sometimes we can really benefit from changing our narrative and doing something good for ourselves.</p><p>Recently, my wife Sarah — who is also an HSP, of course — was named as one of the <i>"top experts"</i> on "<b><a href="https://www.learnitlive.com/" target="_blank">Learn It Live</a></b>", which is an online spiritual and self-development portal offering <i>thousands</i> of workshops by hundreds of experts across the fields of mind-body-spirit wellness.</p><p>She has been invited to be a presenter in the "<i>Consciousness and Wellness in the Time of COVID</i>" Symposium, and will be teaching her "<b><a href="https://www.learnitlive.com/class/15407/Controlling-the-Narrative-of-your-Life-%E2%94%80-The-Crystal-Blue-Sapphire-Meditation" target="_blank">Controlling the Narrative of Your Life: The Crystal Blue Sapphire Meditation</a></b>" during one of the keynote times, at 7:00pm Eastern/4:00pm Pacific time on November 13th.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ0rlNsKry4rEw7DO_ONzcsq6exfhhUm75tdxPehyknOixFIOSQpPeloTyE3abwfZrumZtrgRSm8q-V3Fox3Q1BEhOmGdwMFp-vRNjO51ai1erSSiMduaAwRCdzqd2x7kii9bn/s820/Symposium-2020-11-13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="312" data-original-width="820" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ0rlNsKry4rEw7DO_ONzcsq6exfhhUm75tdxPehyknOixFIOSQpPeloTyE3abwfZrumZtrgRSm8q-V3Fox3Q1BEhOmGdwMFp-vRNjO51ai1erSSiMduaAwRCdzqd2x7kii9bn/w640-h245/Symposium-2020-11-13.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p>She has been teaching this 60-minute workshop for 20+ years, and I have personally used the technique she teaches, and I have seen how it has transformed the lives of 100's of people. I can also vouch for it being appropriate for HSPs.</p><p>Anyway, I'd like to encourage you sign up for this workshop... because one of the things we CAN do for ourselves during these difficult times is keep learning, and keep working on ourselves! It's a <i>live</i> online symposium and class, so you can do all this from the comfort and safety of your home.</p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Now, there are two ways to do this: </b></span></p><p>One, go to the <b><a href="https://www.learnitlive.com/" target="_blank">Learn It Live Website</a></b> and create a basic <i>(free!)</i> Learn-it-Life account, and then you can simply <b><a href="https://www.learnitlive.com/class/15407/Controlling-the-Narrative-of-your-Life-%E2%94%80-The-Crystal-Blue-Sapphire-Meditation" target="_blank">register for the workshop</a></b>, which is just $15 which is WELL worth it <i>(It often goes for $50-75 for the session, elsewhere)</i>.</p><p>Alternately, you can sign up for a Learn-it-Live "Plus" membership, and then enroll in the workshop absolutely <i>FREE</i> by using the coupon code "SymposiumFree" at checkout time. </p><p>Learn-it-Live is actually an amazing venue for HSPs, so I do recommend that you at least get a trial "Plus" membership for just $7.95 a month... you can always cancel it later, and it would give you access to Sarah's workshop for free!</p><p>You might actually discover — as I did — that there are <i>lots</i> of classes there I'd be interested in taking... and you might even be interested in <i>teaching</i> something!</p><p>Give it some serious thought... it's something good to do for yourself!</p>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-50090570682478792102020-10-23T12:58:00.000-07:002020-10-23T12:58:28.673-07:00HSP Life in the Age of Covid-19<div class="separator">These are strange days in which we live!</div><p>Of course, I can only speak for myself, but I can't help but think that there are ways in which the current state of the world weighs heavily on us HSPs... if nothing else, simply because we tend to spend a lot of time "<i>thinking about things.</i>"</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0irRkm8JqUcu4Blj1FoeDTp4D_fyBReykfiMskvH6fKyxUopy1fcV4VldU9KqaB5rQv2fsR_d8KwryPr3nSpSotsqm1fGhFjgTrwyUrD-G3kBRpy1iwrm936CGV7SaH86zvKM/s1600/0112-Poppy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1124" data-original-width="1600" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0irRkm8JqUcu4Blj1FoeDTp4D_fyBReykfiMskvH6fKyxUopy1fcV4VldU9KqaB5rQv2fsR_d8KwryPr3nSpSotsqm1fGhFjgTrwyUrD-G3kBRpy1iwrm936CGV7SaH86zvKM/w400-h281/0112-Poppy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />From a personal angle, I have to admit that the "shelter-in-place" mandates and limited mobility has not exactly been a <i>hardship</i> around here. I tend to <i>shelter-in-place</i> anyway, and I go out as little as possible at the best of times. <p></p><p>I have been using the past few months to catch up on a lot of reading and organizing around the house, and we found ourselves having the <i>time</i> to work extensively in our garden, and we grew a record amount of our own food, from our little patch of land. </p><p>Those are definitely positives!</p><p>On the other hand, this thing the mental health profession is increasingly referring to as "<i>Covid Fatigue</i>" does feel like a very real thing.</p><p>It seems to be the result of the new reality that no matter what we do or think, we now "<i>filter</i>" pretty much every decision and action through the lens of being aware of the potential impact this "<i>pandemic</i>" has on what we find ourselves in the middle of.</p><p>Often, the effects are quite <i>indirect</i>. A letter to relatives in Europe suddenly taking <i>two weeks</i> to get there, rather than five days. Not being able to <i>get</i> certain things. One of your favorite stores being closed. The simple fact that grocery shopping often takes <i>twice as long</i> as it used to, because of all the preparations and precautions we now take. The realization that it has become unwise to <i>do</i> certain things.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ2g1hnBxBqnNiWf_J0zGQJfYVwoRVc6vNddoAzdwqnXOX4tJHr4C80BeDnhskWiSiEWYjo29PphG1kHxIWrgJ5duM9lN9rg6km5TBQUeVfpHsYAu4KDELE9wnbMZgPSuv7GaC/s1538/0113-Carrots.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1538" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ2g1hnBxBqnNiWf_J0zGQJfYVwoRVc6vNddoAzdwqnXOX4tJHr4C80BeDnhskWiSiEWYjo29PphG1kHxIWrgJ5duM9lN9rg6km5TBQUeVfpHsYAu4KDELE9wnbMZgPSuv7GaC/w311-h400/0113-Carrots.jpg" width="311" /></a></div><br />At our house, we feel it more <i>directly</i>, as well. I make substantially most of my living from online sales, and — due to people feeling uncertain about their jobs and incomes — my income (which wasn't much to start with) has been slowly declining all year. <p></p><p>The other mental/emotional "<i>weight</i>" I feel a lot comes from the simple realization that we really don't know <i>how long</i> this "<i>thing</i>" is going to be with us... and that leads to the next realization that there most likely will <i>be</i> no "<i>return to normal.</i>" If there ever was a "<i>normal</i>" it's long gone, and all we can likely look forward to at this point is an entirely new paradigm for human existence. </p><p>Not sure how I feel about that... because I find myself really struggling to visualize a positive outcome.</p><p>Meanwhile, the entire "<i>energetic feel</i>" of the greater world seems to have taken on a gray filter... reflected by the broader subtext of frustration, anxiety, despair and sadness so many people are experiencing, these days. And anger. There seem to be abnormally many public flareups of anger.</p><p>Here in the US, it's not made any "<i>lighter</i>" by the fact that we are running into the final weeks of a Presidential election campaign... something that often brings out the <i>worst</i> in people, even at the <i>best</i> of times!</p><p>I have never been big on "<i>Rah-Rah Positivity Parties,</i>" particularly when there's no objective reason to have one. Meaning... that I have no great advice to offer on how to magically "<i>feel better about everything.</i>" If anything, I'd encourage everyone to simply allow themselves to "<i>feel their feels</i>" honestly, rather than sticking your head in the sand and pretending everything is A-OK. </p><p>Because, quite honestly, everything is <i>not </i>A-OK...</p><p>What has helped me most has been to do my best to not dwell excessively on things I have<i> no control over</i>. I try to direct my energies where I <i>do</i> have some influence: Getting long-postponed projects at home done, working on things I <i>do</i> enjoy — like my art, my photography and my writing — and making sure that I get <i>outside</i>. We HSPs benefit a <i>lot</i> from the healing power of nature, even if that "<i>nature</i>" is nothing more than sitting and looking at the flowers in our apartment complex grounds. </p><p>In the meantime, stay safe and healthy, wherever you may be!</p>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span><br />
<br />Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-15780411506136174612020-10-12T21:45:00.083-07:002020-11-09T22:04:09.015-08:00Writing a Book, After All These Years! (Deja-vu?)<p>If you have been following HSP Notes for some time, you might remember that I have periodically been toying with the idea of writing a book. As is the case with many great plans, so far it has been all talk and no action. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB34RkOZ9H5jsHL3pTnmWAkLCbUrlUB_27BIW27YSiYW1UuMkhIEgiTsvwv9pdPvDDM5IbtMgNjvspNNAreQXiYDv8Arg4cTg9i9QENWusi7GZ9xdhihVmQ-x6Y7FZiIsWEk_e/s850/0333-Columbine.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="797" data-original-width="850" height="375" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB34RkOZ9H5jsHL3pTnmWAkLCbUrlUB_27BIW27YSiYW1UuMkhIEgiTsvwv9pdPvDDM5IbtMgNjvspNNAreQXiYDv8Arg4cTg9i9QENWusi7GZ9xdhihVmQ-x6Y7FZiIsWEk_e/w400-h375/0333-Columbine.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>One of the challenges for me is that I tend to have a fairly short attention span. Some would call it ADHD. Either way, whereas it is not hard for me to write hundreds and even<i> thousands </i>of blog posts and articles, the thought of actually sitting down and stringing together 75,000 cohesive words into a book feels daunting, terrifying and overwhelming. <p></p><p>As I read these words I just wrote, it actually sounds a little strange even to <i>me</i>. After all, I probably write something on the order of 500,000 words a year in terms of blog posts and articles, across dozens of online venues.</p><p>But no mind. </p><p>One of the things that was suggested to me by a friend — and this is actually a very <i>good</i> suggestion — is that instead of writing <i>an entire book</i> from scratch why not simply compile and update a series of my most popular and significant personal essays about life as an HSP and turn those into a book. </p><p>Of course I have always had perfectly good excuses for not finding the time to do so! </p><p>But here we are in the times of COVID-19, and I am spending more time at home than ever before, and it just seems like the right time to get this project on the road. Hey, I'm not getting any younger!</p><p>Oddly enough the impetus — which happened quite recently — was that our power went out one day. When our power came back on, our <i>Internet</i> was out. </p><p>And it <i>stayed</i> out for five days.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQfvoWx2SrYZ2qXKCS4LJb7k0CgqWUZdOcSL6NCnq5cie8g8ftmR3G7zwfX-VrZwjYIUeTZg9dQA8AhOglg65rDv-iPs7zkIY9-8J1yGUuZOeCSeVvgj0d4Ri-ehgub2aLOlSV/s951/0341-YellowYew.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="951" data-original-width="850" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQfvoWx2SrYZ2qXKCS4LJb7k0CgqWUZdOcSL6NCnq5cie8g8ftmR3G7zwfX-VrZwjYIUeTZg9dQA8AhOglg65rDv-iPs7zkIY9-8J1yGUuZOeCSeVvgj0d4Ri-ehgub2aLOlSV/w358-h400/0341-YellowYew.jpg" width="358" /></a></div>It's remarkable how dependent some of us are on being online. Although I didn't exactly find myself having <i>withdrawals</i>, I realized that I have become <i>very</i> used to working on the computer. Granted, I make 90% of my living online... but even so. <p></p><p>Anyway, one of the things I used those five days for was to organize all my writing files here on my desktop computer, and then getting started on this project of <i>choosing</i> the best of my HSP essays with an eye towards creating a book. </p><p>Of course, some of these pieces — while still good and relevant — will need a facelift, having been written as far back as 2003. But at least the task <i>feels</i> less daunting, knowing that I already have "<i>The Bones</i>" writen!</p><p>I'm not making any promises as to when this will be done and in print However, with the annual NaNoWriMo <i>(National Novel Writing Month)</i> challenge right around the corner — it happens during the month of November every year — the timing seems fortuitous.</p><p>So, I'm off and running! So far, five (of maybe 25?) essays chosen and "<i>cleaned up.</i>"</p><p>Stay tuned for more! If you'd like to support this project, please consider joining my Patreon appeal!</p><p>Thank you, and till the next one!</p><hr /><p><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br /><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span><br /></p>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-14933944121752823172020-06-28T21:38:00.044-07:002020-07-02T22:26:16.956-07:0020 Years of HSP Gatherings!A couple of days ago, I had the privilege of being part of a "Virtual Gathering" for past attendees of the <b><a href="http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/hspgathering.htm" target="_blank">HSP Gathering Retreats</a></b>... on occasion of the fact that it has now been <i>TWENTY YEARS</i> since the first Gathering!<div><br /></div><div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheHCqt3Ymlsxewb1AtCwS-V6PDyfdMWQ1jByZhAa6GtvCZyScnpKoQ__QAQk5jd1w2AUPUF382S6LTl-BsnKrh5FXWyGCSj3rv5GWq6YX8kuwb-yudAvA56p1ozMb4_U4XUfm1/s900/2007-0614-11.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="672" height="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheHCqt3Ymlsxewb1AtCwS-V6PDyfdMWQ1jByZhAa6GtvCZyScnpKoQ__QAQk5jd1w2AUPUF382S6LTl-BsnKrh5FXWyGCSj3rv5GWq6YX8kuwb-yudAvA56p1ozMb4_U4XUfm1/w374-h500/2007-0614-11.jpg" width="374" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>View from Walker Creek Ranch where early HSP<br />Gatherings took place</i></td></tr></tbody></table>Aside from it being a fun and somewhat nostalgic experience to participate in the Zoom call — sign of our times — it was also slightly surreal and a bit of an eye-opener to realize that it has been <i>so long</i>. </div><div><br /></div><div>Then I reflected on the fact that it had already been <i>five years</i> since I read Elaine Aron's book, by the time I attended that first Gathering in 2002.</div><div><br /></div><div>Life is filled with interesting contrasts. </div><div><br /></div><div>We have come a <i>very long</i> way since those first tentative steps we took in the late 1990's, when a handful of people reached out to each other through one of the earliest online social systems, a website called "<b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EGroups" target="_blank">EGroups,</a></b>" now long defunct.</div><div><br /></div><div>But even while I write these words 23 years later, only a <i>tiny percentage</i> of the world's HSPs are aware (a) that the trait <i>even exists</i> and (b) that they might <i>be</i> one.<br /><div><br /></div><div>Time... and our lives... move on.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>When I first learned about the trait — and when I went to my first HSP Gathering — the entire concept of <i>Being An HSP</i> was very important to me!</div><div><br /></div><div>All these years later, my approach has mellowed considerably. I have largely put away my expounding plank, and only mention the trait <i>occasionally</i> when I believe my doing so will be of benefit to someone who's very obviously struggling with similar issues to mine of 25 years ago. </div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe that's just <i>experience</i>.</div><div><br /></div><div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilvDvKtgQAmShnQLytkHIhfsL8-RcS52Agg5SJ-k0oyPCAdrMg3uRrAArfMQOqOzfwONmflkzeJDjXuGXrGqiXZ52cEjTUGt_XaCzSKmTO7ELiuocEJNloGIQSUtLtuXAxPtSu/s1200/2007-0616-16.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1200" height="375" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilvDvKtgQAmShnQLytkHIhfsL8-RcS52Agg5SJ-k0oyPCAdrMg3uRrAArfMQOqOzfwONmflkzeJDjXuGXrGqiXZ52cEjTUGt_XaCzSKmTO7ELiuocEJNloGIQSUtLtuXAxPtSu/w500-h375/2007-0616-16.jpg" width="500" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Turtle Pond, at Walker Creek Ranch</i><br /></td></tr></tbody></table>Oddly enough, my <i>conviction</i> that being Highly Sensitive is a "<i>real thing</i>" and has a major impact on how we experience life... is <i>deeper</i> than ever, and yet I am less attached to anyone <i>caring</i> than ever. </div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe that's just having <i>grown comfortable in my skin</i>, and not needing external validation for who I am. I <i>know</i> who I am. I don't need someone else to tell me, or to "<i>make it OK</i>" for me. I don't expect special treatment or concessions.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sadly, my old web site "<i>Inner Reflections</i>" no longer exists. I say "<i>sadly,</i>" because it had (among other things) a very heartfelt and detailed photo journal of that first HSP Gathering Retreat I went to. If you care enough to dig around, you might be able to find the pages captured on the Internet Archive.</div><div><br /></div><div>However, I <i>do</i> remember clearly what a life-changing experience it was to be in a room with 30-odd people, all of whom "<i>understood</i>" what it was like to be in the world, feeling as we did. And that, dear friends, is a memory and feeling I will always hold near and dear!</div><div><br /></div><div>And if the whole HSP "<i>thing</i>" is new to you... you might consider going to an HSP Gathering Retreat!</div><div><br /></div><div>As always, thank you for reading!</div><div><br /></div><div><hr style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Nobile; font-size: 14px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Nobile; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a class="steem-keychain-checked" href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" style="color: #4495ff; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Nobile; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75; font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span></div>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-10464452569790335762020-01-26T10:43:00.000-08:002020-01-26T14:34:24.233-08:00The Challenge of Considering, Making and COMMITTING to Changes!For the past few weeks, I have been thinking a lot about the direction of this blog. Specifically, I've been thinking about the idea of how to combine all the different things I do into one central location, after years of deliberately keeping separate things separate.<br />
<br />
The entire process feels a <strike>little bit</strike> very overwhelming!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkUVzRGgaVsTQ41b8DXYkmCcc4jPVQaW0ULsCegxzIuLbcu25lXYxmKr5-PbWhyphenhyphenBzqjJAiEsG1gfQF0gTgHRdmYFjn4bscV4Rag6pWkCMNJCJ1bI1JanRk0X2Ui-xwcPj-HuWX/s1600/0301-Yellow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1025" data-original-width="850" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkUVzRGgaVsTQ41b8DXYkmCcc4jPVQaW0ULsCegxzIuLbcu25lXYxmKr5-PbWhyphenhyphenBzqjJAiEsG1gfQF0gTgHRdmYFjn4bscV4Rag6pWkCMNJCJ1bI1JanRk0X2Ui-xwcPj-HuWX/s400/0301-Yellow.jpg" width="331" /></a></div>
As an HSP, one of the things I have learned about myself is that I tend to spend a lot more time <i>thinking about and ruminating</i> than actually <i>doing</i> things and putting them into action.<br />
<br />
Perhaps you recognize that, in yourself.<br />
<br />
And so I find myself asking the inevitable question “<i>Why is this so difficult to just DO rather than think about forever?</i>”<br />
<br />
Is this just a struggle with excessive "<i>conscientiousness,</i>" as many HSPs experience?<br />
<br />
Am I a slave to perfectionism?<br />
<br />
My reality — as I am experiencing it — is more one of feeling like I am taking a completely new direction. And not only that, I feel hesitation and a bit of anxiety about taking this new direction and <i>committing</i> fully to it.<br />
<br />
We HSPs often struggle with change, even when it is initiated by ourselves. Even one of the items on Elaine Aron's "<b><a href="http://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/" target="_blank">Sensitivity Self Test</a></b>" is "<i>Changes in my life shake me up.</i>"<br />
<br />
To be honest, I also am experiencing an element of self-doubt. Am I doing the right thing? What will people think of me for doing this? Am I just worrying too much?<br />
<br />
I looked at those words and then I stopped and just laughed at myself. Here I am, at 59 years of age, and I'm still having these self-doubts!<br />
<br />
Anyway, the long and the short of what I am setting out to do differently can pretty much be summarized thusly:<br />
<br />
The 18-year history of this blog has centered in it being a blog about “<i>HSP stuff.</i>”<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWx-3GdfWzFi4lvyfLRJGhUZJdKjLSWwZLmzBxeoI2hTgg3UvHfZKwKKMRqPZvzBqW-QNBCSKFKBHnTB9K21BoO3FPDRSlEVlPHXUpAfpe1wJV0MdniaxK3jvRTJwCYEfcIlO-/s1600/0327-Lavender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1140" data-original-width="849" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWx-3GdfWzFi4lvyfLRJGhUZJdKjLSWwZLmzBxeoI2hTgg3UvHfZKwKKMRqPZvzBqW-QNBCSKFKBHnTB9K21BoO3FPDRSlEVlPHXUpAfpe1wJV0MdniaxK3jvRTJwCYEfcIlO-/s400/0327-Lavender.jpg" width="297" /></a></div>
The primary change is going to be that from this point forward it will <i>still</i> be a blog about “<i>HSP stuff,</i>” but it will increasingly also be about<i> a person simply living and navigating their life</i> and that person just “<i>happens to be an HSP.</i>”<br />
<br />
And yes, some of the time I will be engaged in that dreaded thing called “<i>self-promotion;</i>” touching on the many projects I am involved with and inviting visitors to go check it out. But not just for <i>commercial</i> reasons, also to offer an insight into what "<i>HSP Life</i>" can look like.<br />
<br />
As I wrote in <b><a href="https://www.hspnotes.com/2018/03/learning-about-hsp-trait-whats-ultimate.html" target="_blank">a post a couple of years ago</a></b>, perhaps the ultimate objective of learning as much as possible about being an HSP, is that we eventually arrive at a point where our lives are no longer <i>defined</i> by "<i>being an HSP;</i>" instead we incorporate the knowledge we've gained and simply return to being "<i>a person</i>" for whom being an HSP is simply <i>one</i> attribute of many in their lives.<br />
<br />
Let's face it, I <i>am</i> an HSP! No denying that!<br />
<br />
But I am <i>also</i> a Danish citizen, very tall, a cat lover, an artist, a husband, a writer, an editor, a stamp collector, a beachcomber, a polymath, a photographer and a whole bunch of other things!<br />
<br />
My point?<br />
<br />
I think we can go overboard and get <i>so wrapped up</i> in a place where we define <i>every single thing</i> we do and experience in life “<i>in terms of being an HSP.</i>” That is, we view ourselves as <i>HSPs first</i>, and as human beings, <i>second</i>. Frankly, I think it should be the other way around — we're <i>human beings first</i>, and HSPs <i>second</i>.<br />
<br />
And so, it is with that in mind, that I set forth to gently keep making changes to the HSP Notes blog and website.<br />
<br />
And it my sincere hope that you will continue to share in this journey with me!<br />
<br />
Thank you for reading.<br />
<br />
<hr />
<br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span><br />
<br />Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-20132878587795147222020-01-21T14:59:00.002-08:002020-01-21T14:59:59.248-08:00HSP Living: Be Kind, Whenever Possible!<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;"><i>Be kind whenever possible. It is ALWAYS possible!</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="color: #0b5394; font-size: x-large;">~ H.H. The Dalai Lama</i></div>
<br />
The above quote has been a favorite of mine for a very long time.<br />
<br />
It resonates rather deeply with me, and I realized recently that the underlying idea has been close to my heart since childhood.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjWEUpWGHZ_Z68GDzqSyNLxDNhRxxB-2HOytRXjltIqSs0u7T9DqTVOBrtutNGeRmqEMs4Ieo3n3GurGd69UQS9MahUvZEK_pRK9FloqyX8L7FEe3zVzaNJacGyr2PXn_mdPce/s1600/0172-Apple.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="850" height="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjWEUpWGHZ_Z68GDzqSyNLxDNhRxxB-2HOytRXjltIqSs0u7T9DqTVOBrtutNGeRmqEMs4Ieo3n3GurGd69UQS9MahUvZEK_pRK9FloqyX8L7FEe3zVzaNJacGyr2PXn_mdPce/s400/0172-Apple.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
When I was a little kid — perhaps no more than 5-6 years old — I distinctly remember one of my core desires in life was for people to just <i>be nice to each other</i>. I just wanted people to <i>get along</i>.<br />
<br />
To my considerable distress, so many people around me seemed both <i>mean</i> and <i>harsh</i>... and definitely not <i>kind</i> to each other. In many ways, it was the harshness and abrasiveness of the external world that ultimately inspired the (working) title for a book I have been working on for some years: "<i>Please Don't Yell At Me!</i>"<br />
<br />
Even when people were not actually <i>yelling</i>, their very "<i>way of being</i>" felt very loud and invasive, and I found myself wanting to get away from it. This tendency became even more pronounced when I started school and encountered <i>bullies</i>, for the first time!<br />
<br />
Of course, I must hasten to add that mere "<i>kindness</i>" is not an actual <i>attribute</i> of the HSP trait. HSPs can be kind... or not. However, what <i>does</i> tend to become part of an HSP's experience of life is the <i>lingering effects</i> left behind by those people who are not kind to us.<br />
<br />
Because we experience everything so intensely, we also tend to experience a <i>lack of kindness</i> very intensely... and then we go on to remember it for a long time, regardless of whether we "<i>want to,</i>" or not. Even when it might be well-meaning, someone saying "<i>You just need to get OVER it!</i>" is not very helpful. You've probably experienced that...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk3sekp006bPUBX3bMUJkZZv6MrWSn5NziJbpijGquDdkRlMZ4U7Wlf6StWZeq9RiZcn8SACQvUlM6x0eEgewQ-QqwJDHn04RinE1O9pdh3vkQsl9V_O5ZzOBxg-ap0jSgLZVR/s1600/0174-Views6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="805" data-original-width="1200" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk3sekp006bPUBX3bMUJkZZv6MrWSn5NziJbpijGquDdkRlMZ4U7Wlf6StWZeq9RiZcn8SACQvUlM6x0eEgewQ-QqwJDHn04RinE1O9pdh3vkQsl9V_O5ZzOBxg-ap0jSgLZVR/s400/0174-Views6.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<i><span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;">Standing By Our Values...</span></i><br />
<br />
It can be quite a challenge to <i>stand by our values</i>; our core sense of what feels right... in a world that often doesn't seem to care about such things.<br />
<br />
When people are being buttheads and mean to us, there's often a temptation to "<i>rise, and take the bait</i>" and return the argument in-kind. But — as a wise person once pointed out to me — <i>a nasty individual has far more practice at being nasty</i> than I have!<br />
<br />
On the other hand, I have often found that my refusal to get embroiled in a loud and overstimulating argument is perceived as a variety of generally negative things... from being <i>passive</i>, to being <i>weak</i>, to <i>not caring</i>, to <i>lacking passion</i>.<br />
<br />
More than 90% of the time, those assertions are simply not true!<br />
<br />
So I remind myself of a few things I have learned, along the way:<br />
<br />
I can be enthusiastic, without yelling.<br />
I can be passionate, without overpowering.<br />
I can have boundaries, without being forceful.<br />
And I can be kind, whenever possible!<br />
<br />
Thanks for reading!<br />
<br />
<hr />
<br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-40954698622378666462019-10-26T18:44:00.001-07:002019-10-26T18:45:34.429-07:00HSP Ramblings: Not "Overstimulated," just Tired!Sarah and I attended an event last night.<br />
<br />
She was a live guest on the "<b><a href="http://www.strangebrau.com/podcast.html" target="_blank">Strange Brau</a></b>" podcast; while I had a vendor table for my painted <a href="https://www.alchemystone.com/" target="_blank"><b>Alchemy Stones</b></a>.<br />
<br />
The event took place at a popular local hotel; there was a pretty good crowd gathered in the hotel dining room. It's an old building from the 1890's and the quarters were pretty cramped. We found an alcove to set up our vendor table that was out of the main traffic patterns.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Recipe for "<i>HSP overstimulation?</i>"<br />
<br />
Well, not <i>exactly</i>. I enjoyed myself — as did she — and whereas we were happy to leave and get back to the piece and quiet of our house after about six hours of being "<i>on,</i>" neither of us felt particularly overstimulated.<br />
<br />
This morning, however, I feel like I have "<i>the blahs.</i>"<br />
<br />
In other words, both my brain and spirit feel <i>"tired,"</i> like I just attended a four-day convention of some kind. Since we are both HSPs, we were both feeling this.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>The Importance of Knowing What's What</b></i></span><br />
<br />
As I sit here and type these words, I am reminded of the importance of we who are Highly Sensitive to be aware of "<i>what's what,</i>" when it comes to managing the effects of our trait.<br />
<br />
It's easy to fall into the trap of attributing <i>everything</i> in our lives to "<i>overstimulation,</i>" simply because it's a popular buzzword that tends to be closely associated with our trait. But it's not always applicable, nor accurate.<br />
<br />
In this case, Sarah and I are — quite simply — tired. So we're taking this day more of less off, as an act of self-care.<br />
<br />
Part of what we gain from learning how we are affected by our High Sensitivity is an awareness of <i>what</i> we are experiencing, rather than simply "<i>that</i>" we are experiencing... which is why I always encourage my fellow HSPs to really learn all they can about the HSP trait.<br />
<br />
It's not a "<i>label,</i>" it's a<i> life coping tool!</i><br />
<br />
Thanks for reading!<br />
<br />
<hr />
<br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>I hope you enjoyed your visit here!</b> HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "<i>labor of love.</i>" However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "<i>supporter</i>" of HSP Notes, via my <b><a href="https://www.patreon.com/AlchemyStones" target="_blank">Patreon Art Account</a></b>. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the <i>TIME</i> to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for <i>all</i> of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!</span>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-22714628853937609782019-10-10T13:52:00.031-07:002022-09-23T14:09:38.646-07:00Reflection: Remembering Dr. Ted Zeff<p>It is with great sadness that I recently learned that Dr. Ted Zeff passed from this plane of existence on August 18th, following a long struggle with cancer.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz-aTw8HM3bgL9A7AcKDIaRD0ew6z_Nl0Qmra8CCs75iaw99D0zJw4NcFAyvnOes88SGGcltYJ9G1bElwF9ewAI_KNUv1tmvPfnwiMd5tdkWwDOgFxPCXH_6Gjk72jKC-LKhYe0ixR8bBMijvDjItJcEp6WUNOUbFPzxbSVfn47NPP3j1sww/s1808/1150-Maples.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1210" data-original-width="1808" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz-aTw8HM3bgL9A7AcKDIaRD0ew6z_Nl0Qmra8CCs75iaw99D0zJw4NcFAyvnOes88SGGcltYJ9G1bElwF9ewAI_KNUv1tmvPfnwiMd5tdkWwDOgFxPCXH_6Gjk72jKC-LKhYe0ixR8bBMijvDjItJcEp6WUNOUbFPzxbSVfn47NPP3j1sww/w400-h268/1150-Maples.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p>For those who might not know, Ted was one of the early "<i>pioneers</i>" in the world of High Sensitivity, focusing extensive research and energy on the particular issues facing highly sensitive <i>men</i>. He was an author and wrote several books about the HSP trait, and would bravely step into the public eye with TV interviews and more.</p><p>I had the privilege of meeting Ted at an HSP Gathering Retreat many years ago, where we enjoyed several deep conversations about what it meant to be an HSP and male. He worked tirelessly to overcome the numerous societal stigmas attached to being sensitive when you happen to be male. In between, we had quite a few lengthy email "conversations" about highly sensitive men.</p><p>In many ways, he inspired me to not simply resign myself to a thought pattern of "<i>this is simply how the world IS</i>," with my own sensitivity. I am very grateful for that.</p><p>His soft spoken voice will be missed by many in the global HSP community.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-5753440463304146492019-04-23T12:49:00.000-07:002019-04-23T12:49:49.794-07:00Life is a Series of Constant Re-InventionsWe HSPs are generally not fond of change.<br />
<br />
Or we may be <i>fond</i> of change, but still find it massively disruptive and overstimulating to <i>deal</i> with it.<br />
<br />
The latter, I suppose, holds more true for <i>HSS</i> HSPs.<br />
<br />
<h3>
I have been absent from these pages, for a while...</h3>
<div>
Once again — at age 58 — I find myself in the process of "<i>reinventing myself.</i>"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSWYmcWHKhyphenhyphen4XkQQbhI89Itm8uBDda5P0YB2EmyJD8YfDcxYkYViwsKlNWCuK1dEBeTyCnwPEBShtVf2a09DRPTHwFtW3-fzHDBlzGuWpI8XzBKWg60-bFAOqUpSax5XKXOPGq/s1600/0036-Rose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="744" data-original-width="600" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSWYmcWHKhyphenhyphen4XkQQbhI89Itm8uBDda5P0YB2EmyJD8YfDcxYkYViwsKlNWCuK1dEBeTyCnwPEBShtVf2a09DRPTHwFtW3-fzHDBlzGuWpI8XzBKWg60-bFAOqUpSax5XKXOPGq/s400/0036-Rose.jpg" width="322" /></a></div>
As my three readers might remember, I have spent most of my adult life engaged in some form of self-employment. This is generally a really good "<i>fit</i>" for HSPs... we get to do things largely on our own terms, which typically includes creating a work-life that allows us to keep the lid somewhat on overstimulation, and at least <i>manage</i> it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Of course, even when things are working quite well, <i>change happens</i>.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In this case, I am facing the reality that <i>two</i> of my four home-based micro businesses that have been sustaining us for the past decade+ have been in steady decline for some years — one due to an aging and dying primary demographic, the other due to competition from inexpensive alternatives in S.E. Asia — and we have reached a place (financially) where steadily increasing costs of living have overtaken steadily declining income.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So much for being in your "<i>peak earning years</i>" during your 50s!<br />
<br />
There is always a "<i>tipping point</i>" in these situations... very <i>minor</i> events set a much larger action in motion. In our case, it was our homeowner's insurance. The renewal policy for the <i>same</i> insurance coverage we've had for six years arrived. Normally, the premiums have been ticking up 2-3% a year, which is bearable. This year, however, the monthly payments jumped from $108.50 to $132.17, an increase of <i>21.8%</i>.<br />
<br />
We all know that inflation is only about 2-3% a year, so what gives? Well, our home "<i>turned 40</i>" this year, which means being part of a different "<i>risk pool.</i>"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Meanwhile, the fact that the "<i>equation</i>" is no longer working means not only that changes have to happen, but that the overstimulation is ramping up again. Well... it has already been that way for a while. Being perpetually late on your bills is stressful <i>and</i> overstimulating.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<h3>
"Stuff Should be Free!" is Bogus!</h3>
<div>
Bit of a side track here, for a moment:<br />
<br />
It's a nice piece of idealism to suggest that we should do things simply because it's <i>the right thing to do</i>, but until the supermarket thinks it's "<i>the right thing to do</i>" to give me my food for free, I'm not convinced. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKvwKdUlxTfVpZiWbPl9Z88Rjme0Nq5fIMnJcQ5sO7Trqj6kNG5Jk7SpRIB5FU8aLWQ-OzY6AEYkDLycMtQxzJJRNxoaBEpJND5Lgd1B_Pze2j9ETzteyHmB_Sq29N9tfxg3Os/s1600/0122-Geranium.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="844" data-original-width="750" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKvwKdUlxTfVpZiWbPl9Z88Rjme0Nq5fIMnJcQ5sO7Trqj6kNG5Jk7SpRIB5FU8aLWQ-OzY6AEYkDLycMtQxzJJRNxoaBEpJND5Lgd1B_Pze2j9ETzteyHmB_Sq29N9tfxg3Os/s400/0122-Geranium.jpg" width="355" /></a></div>
Much as I'd love for it to be real, we do <i>not</i> live in a "<i>Star Trek Universe!</i>"<br />
<br />
Certainly, I'm not suggesting that we shouldn't do things for each other and help each other out; what I am talking about here applies on a larger scale. I am talking about things we continuously bring to the world that most people find to be "<i>of value,</i>" and yet we are never compensated for them. Ultimately... <i>there is no reciprocity!</i></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am also well aware that simply "<i>Being A Good Person</i>" is not a marketable commodity. Whereas people might appreciate our "<i>goodness</i>" we aren't going to get <i>paid</i> for it.<br />
<br />
Not so long ago, I was having a conversation with a spiritual teacher who opined that you should never <i>give away</i> that which you have the most talent at. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I can assure you that most "<i>starving artists</i>" don't <i>want </i>to starve; they are starving because other people keep insisting that they should do their art "<i>purely for the love of it,</i>" and give them lots of pats on their backs for their amazing creativity, yet the moment they put a price tag on that art <i>those same people</i> instead start <i>judging</i> and accuse the artists of "<i>Selling Out.</i>"<br />
<br />
I agree with my spiritual friend that such a line of reasoning is not only hypocrisy, but also garbage.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Anyway, now I am reinventing myself... <i>again</i>. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And so, I am also kicking life back into this HSP Notes blog, which — after all — remains the oldest chronicle of my journey through understanding this "<i>sensitivity</i>" thing in existence. I started this in 2002, <i>five years</i> after reading Elaine Aron's first book. <i>Hundreds</i> of blog posts over a 17-year period chronicle experiences, insights, lessons and the journey, itself.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I stopped, for a while, because I quite simply couldn't justify spending the time I spent here... without compensation. I had to spend that time doing something income producing. I also was working with a couple of other projects — and a different blog.<br />
<br />
More about those, later.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<h3>
Cha- Cha- Cha- Changes...</h3>
<div>
As I go back to writing more frequent articles about life as it intersects with being a Highly Sensitive Person, I will also be changing how this blog works, a little.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For some time, I have had limited advertising as well as some Amazon product links here... but these have gradually become less and less capable of producing more than a few cents, so they are going to go away over the next few months.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_pWVxscErWgT_55O6_JBNzc1JH6mtvPN4kgTpoVnkPYfrzZd17wuNznmkkjkFwXKFt6x952PT4lxzLrYc2DqclJkMJ3Fd2HmD4nD1zygcwDyEf8Cgt6a4h6dwmaUHgt671_9O/s1600/0148-SunLeaf6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="994" data-original-width="750" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_pWVxscErWgT_55O6_JBNzc1JH6mtvPN4kgTpoVnkPYfrzZd17wuNznmkkjkFwXKFt6x952PT4lxzLrYc2DqclJkMJ3Fd2HmD4nD1zygcwDyEf8Cgt6a4h6dwmaUHgt671_9O/s400/0148-SunLeaf6.jpg" width="301" /></a></div>
One of the things I have been increasingly involved with is the principle of "<i>Voluntaryism.</i>"<br />
<br />
To clarify, <i>Voluntaryism</i> is <i>NOT</i> the same thing as <i>Volunteering</i>. Voluntaryism is more economic in nature, and centers around the idea that things are basically free, but if a "<i>recipient</i>" believes that what they are getting "<i>has value</i>" —<i> either to them, or to the greater community</i> — there is a "<i>payment system</i>" in place that allows those recipients (or readers, or beneficiaries) to <i>voluntarily compensate</i> whoever created the thing of value.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Accordingly, I have decided that some of the more elaborate and research-based posts here will become available only through voluntary subscriptions to a Patreon account. This Patreon account will also serve as the "<i>front end</i>" for my efforts of putting together a book I announced long ago entitled "<i>Please Don't Yell At Me! An HSP's Journey,</i>" which I have partly written, but never finished.<br />
<br />
Those who are willing to "<i>co-sponsor</i>" my efforts <i>(basically, allowing me to spend time writing, rather than being at work during those few hours a week, making a living)</i>, would be helping me not only make the book <i>possible</i>, but they would end up having "<i>prepaid</i>" for their own copy, when published. Hopefully, it will be a win-win situation.<br />
<br />
And no worries, we are talking about a monthly commitment of probably less than you pay for a cup of coffee or tea at your local coffee shop! And, again, it will be voluntary... but hopefully it will make you feel like you are doing a "<i>right thing</i>" for the HSP community, as well!<br />
<br />
I am simply trying to make some things — things that are <i>important</i> to me, and to quite a few other people — <i>functionally possible</i>, in the context of my life.<br />
<br />
Stay tuned for more frequent updates, as the process unfolds! At this point, I'm looking to have the whole redesign and new direction operational by June 30th.<br />
<br />
Thanks for reading!<br />
<br />
<h3>
<i>I want to hear from you! I grew up in the era of "social blogging," and I believe blogs should be interactive, like mini message boards. Thus, your comments, feedback, ideas and thoughts are always welcome here, and I will do my best to respond, as well!</i></h3>
<br /></div>
Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3813761.post-85550109773079064382018-03-29T13:47:00.000-07:002018-03-30T12:23:59.876-07:00Learning About the HSP Trait: What's the Ultimate Objective?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
I went to the doctor yesterday.<br />
<br />
Although we don't really<i> talk</i> much about it, my doctor knows that I am an HSP, and she respects what that entails. In the course of our conversations, we have gently agreed that "<i>Being an HSP</i>" is akin to what was once upon a time thought of as "<i>being highly strung.</i>"<br />
<br />
We don't talk much about it, though. It has become "old news."<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcRyvlXO5MngieKNkB0o9A8yyjGnKWlbkJIgPFJBMhyphenhyphenOZvRKWaOFThxQSWY5bufeO3Y8NHF3awYuE9PTl3QTqmrXIwt4xbAf47j5pI0bRC1ZHqyiJNUL4_0G7i_vIrgGkMmriq/s1600/0110-Apples.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="671" data-original-width="658" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcRyvlXO5MngieKNkB0o9A8yyjGnKWlbkJIgPFJBMhyphenhyphenOZvRKWaOFThxQSWY5bufeO3Y8NHF3awYuE9PTl3QTqmrXIwt4xbAf47j5pI0bRC1ZHqyiJNUL4_0G7i_vIrgGkMmriq/s400/0110-Apples.jpg" width="391" /></a></div>
Instead, we talk about my health. I suffer from hypertension (aka "high blood pressure"), and from years of observation, we know that my primary trigger for "hypertensive events" revolve around stress and anxiety.<br />
<br />
Actually, I should phrase that very carefully.<br />
<br />
You see, I don't suffer from any kind of "<i>anxiety disorder,</i>" I simply suffer from overstimulation, HSP style. I am perfectly capable of going into the world and dealing with "<i>whatever hardships come up,</i>" and there are few things I can't handle. My body, however, disagrees.<br />
<br />
One of the interesting things we've learned about me is that — absent stress and the need to interface with the world — my blood pressure is actually within the "<i>normal</i>" range.<br />
<br />
Yesterday, we had this conversation again, as my vitals were once again elevated. My body simply doesn't like the process of "<i>adulting.</i>"<br />
<br />
Alas, few of us have the luxury of simply sitting in a lawn chair, watching clouds drift by... while "<i>the stuff of life</i>" takes care of itself.<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><b>The Progression of HSP Self-Awareness</b></span></i><br />
<br />
After the doctor's visit, I got to thinking about this whole thing called "<i>being an HSP.</i>"<br />
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It has been 21 years and change since I first bumped into the idea. It seems to me that we go through "stages" of being a Highly Sensitive Person.<br />
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At first, it tends to be all shiny, exciting and new; we absorb everything we can read and hear; suddenly it seems like we have a natural and well-fitting explanation for why we are the way we are. Which is a marvelous thing!<br />
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Then we go through a period of learning and integrating. This often involves joining groups, going to workshops and doing something akin to "<i>becoming an expert</i>" on the topic, as it relates to ourselves.<br />
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Oftentimes, we slip into a state of cognitive bias — just about <i>everything</i> that happens is "<i>because I am an HSP</i>." Of course, that's probably rather inconsistent with reality, but we're looking for ways to "<i>make the shoe fit.</i>"<br />
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After a while, we move onto "<i>integration.</i>" We start to become more honest about the ways the trait affects our lives... and the ways it doesn't. At least... that's what happens for those who are honest with themselves; some, it seems, stay in that place where "<i>EVERYthing happens this way because I am an HSP.</i>"<br />
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">But THEN What?</span></i></b><br />
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Perhaps the ultimate objective of learning all we can about being an HSP is that we get to return to "<i>just being a person.</i>"<br />
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As I look back on my doctors' visit, I came to realize that it has been several years since I have thought of myself through the lens of perception that "<i>I am an HSP.</i>" The trait doesn't <i>define</i> me, it simply adds a layer of understanding to the overall picture of what it means to be <i>me</i>.<br />
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I understand certain things about myself, and understand which of those things happen to be a consequence of my high sensitivity, and I try to arrange my life accordingly.<br />
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In formalizing this realization last night, I also came to understand why we see <i>"familiar faces"</i> in online HSP groups, as well as keepers of HSP blogs and web sites suddenly "<i>fall off the radar.</i>" They've simply gotten all they needed from their activities, and then moved on.<br />
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Think of it a but like attending University: You learn a lot, and then you get a degree and graduate. Maybe you stay on and keep learning, getting a graduate degree. But eventually you're <i>done</i>. And that's actually the natural order of things —if you're <i>NOT</i> seeing that, you run the risk of becoming "<i>that eternal student,</i>" working on their 6th degree because they never found the courage to actually go out and be part of life, using the learning they'd experienced.<br />
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And so — aside from the fact that I occasionally teach and give workshops — I am done with "<i>being an HSP.</i>" I have returned to simply being <i>ME</i>.<br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>How about YOU?</b> Where are YOU, on your HSP Journey of Learning? How long ago was it that you learned that there is such a thing as a "Highly Sensitive Person?" How did it change your life? Do you feel you know what you need to know, or are you still "studying?" To what degree to you find that you "identify" with being an HSP? <b>Leave me a comment-- be part of an ongoing dialogue!</b></span><br />
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<b><i><span style="color: #990000;">If you enjoyed this article, please consider sharing with others through social media, your own blog, or your Facebook feed! Thank you!</span></i></b>Peter Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08413240103371243243noreply@blogger.com6