Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Inching Closer to Moving... Scary Times When You're an HSP!

I have often talked about moving.

At least it feels like I have often talked about moving.

I've often talked about moving from Texas to the Pacific Northwest, for a whole number of different reasons. This being the middle of the summer, the reason that most comes to mind in this moment is the fact that it's hotter than hell!

I never did well in heat. When I was a little kid and we would travel a lot, my parents always wanted to go to tropical places. I would sit in the shade with a hat on my head and a wet towel around my shoulders, desperately trying to stay cool.

The prospect of moving is exciting, while at the same time also being daunting.

Knowing what I now know about being an HSP and getting overwhelmed by the things of life, part of the challenge is to inspire myself to believe that the joy associated with reaching the final goal of being somewhere in the Puget Sound area exceeds the potential horror of a year of packing, going through all this stuff, garage sales, having people come in the house when it's for sale, and various other things that I just strongly dislike in life.

Mostly, it's all the stuff that worries me. There's just so much stuff. Most of it isn't even mine, but unless I deal with it, it won't get done. And then the move will never happen...

I guess all I can do is move forward. I'm looking forward to it, and at the same time not at all.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Am I really any wiser about being an HSP?

Seems like I have been learning about "being an HSP" for a long time. Seems like I have learned a thing or two, but sometimes I wonder if I am really any wiser.

One one hand, it is definitely nice to know that there is a biological "cause" for feeling the way I do. On the other, "so what?" Life remains somewhat of a struggle...

I have now gone to several HSP Gatherings, and it felt good to be with "my people;" with my "tribe." But I have also noticed that we are always talking about "the same old issues" and "the same old problems." In a way, it's empowering, but in a different way it is not all that empowering... some part of me can't help but ponder the way we keep insisting that being highly sensitive is "not an illness," but we sit at these Gatherings and talk about our "problems" like they are some kind of "weaknesses" we have to deal with.

What's really the truth, here?

Pay me no mind. I am just feeling a bit disgruntled because we are moving into yet another Texas summer and I get depressed at the thought of dealing with the relentless heat of this place. I am largely a "physical sensor," and I am definitely sensitive to heat... it's funny, I was even sensitive to heat and humidity as a kid. My parents were all about taking vacations to tropical venues, and I would just sit and pant and sweat under a tree, hoping I could find some measure of peace...

But I am digressing. And still pondering whether I am any wiser.

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