Life in 2025 — It's not Easy!

The month of January always holds a little extra meaning for me. It was in January of 1997 I more or less accidentally stumbled upon Elaine Aron's "The Highly Sensitive Person" at a Borders Books and Music store in Austin, Texas.

It's hard to believe it has been 28 YEARS...

I have learned a lot in the course of those 28 years, not just about myself, but also from the thousands of fellow HSPs I have had the pleasure and privilege to meet on this journey... both online and face-to-face.

We are a pretty amazing bunch of people, and we are definitely "of another species!" I say that only somewhat facetiously, because most of us really do see and parse the world differently from the mainstream.

So here we are, at the beginning of another new year, and somehow we have also made it one-quarter of the way into a new millennium. I am not going to talk about "New Year's Resolutions" here, because I feel they are one of those cultural inventions that just result in our placing undue pressure on ourselves (stress) and then dinging our self-esteem (stress) when we fall short of our plans.

I prefer to simply recognize that it is time for something in my life to change, make a plan... and then simply make the changes, without much fanfare or telling anyone. If someone notices something has changed, great!

Whereas I realize that some people feel motivated by a "public announcement", I personally find that I just get stressed out by focusing too much on "other people's opinions" rather than just quietly executing my own plan.

A large part of managing myself as an HSP revolves around simply not participating in the situations that most likely will lead to overwhelm and overstmulation.

As a wise person once told me: "NO is a complete sentence." It's OK — if not essential — to say no.

What I am doing at the moment is "taking stock."

My therapist admitted that she was "not surprised" that I feel perpetually overwhelmed by everything in my life, because I am trying to balance so many things, all at once...

But why?

I expect it is mostly just the way of life, in 2025. The mere business of being alive becomes costlier and costlier at a far more rapid pace than my income grows. In fact, my income has been pretty much stagnant since 2019.

I imagine I am not the only one facing this kind of situation. 

Anything New to Say?

It occurred to me that I have been the caretaker of this blog for a couple of decades now. That's a long time, especially in "Internet Years!"

In the course of those couple of decades, my interest — as it were — in High Sensitivity has ebbed and flowed.

My original intent was to learn all I could about this trait of ours, and to share my ongoing journey with the world around me. I wasn't trying to be what is today known as a "content creator," nor was I looking to build a following… those have just sort of become byproducts of sharing my thoughts.

In recent times, I have come to recognize that my entire perspective on being an HSP has changed.

For a number of years High Sensitivity was very much interwoven in everything I did, and everything I thought, and everything I felt. By and by, I recognize that the trait sort of faded into the background.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that I somehow stopped being Highly Sensitive, it was just a matter of I went from being a person constantly aware of my HSP-ness, to being a person who was having a fundamentally human experience who just happened to be a highly sensitive person.

It's nice to use lessons learned in my daily life but it has been a good long time since I consciously thought of making choices or taking actions (or not doing so) simply because I'm an HSP.

Then... perhaps that is what is meant by the idea that we "fully integrate" the trait.

What got me to take a few minutes to sit down and write these words was that I was once again asked if I had given up writing about the HSP experience.

I thought about it, and realized that my answer actually is in two parts. I'm still a *writer,* and I actively write and keep blogs elsewhere, I just don't write about High Sensitivity very much. It's not the motivating factor in my life, anymore.

After all these years, I am definitely still an HSP, but it's just not very interesting to write about. At least not for me.

And since I am neither actively in a role of being a teacher of, or workshop lecturer on the topic of High Sensitivity I have less to say than I used to.

In a sense, you could draw a parallel to it as getting an education. You go through years of school, and then maybe you go to university for a few years, and maybe you even do graduate studies for a few years, but for most of us there comes a time when you just leave and you go out in the world and you do life. Absolutely, there is no time at which learning ends, but you're not in school anymore!

Does that mean I'm abandoning HSP Notes?

Not at all! There's lots of information here that's probably useful to people and I'll certainly keep it up. At the same time, I ask people to consider the fact that this is not my profession; it's not how I make a living.

And, if it is to be purely a hobby, then I am only going to share something when it seems interesting and relevant to me. Which definitely does happen!

HSP, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, Empath, Asperger's, Autism Spectrum, Neurodivergent - the Changing Landscape of Definitions

Seems like every time I turn my head for a few minutes, some new psychological definition pops up to describe us, both as individuals as well as collectively. 

Part of me thinks this is a wonderful thing because it means there's ongoing exploration of the multi-colored spectrum of human experience we travel through!

The only thing that troubles me sometimes is the same thing that troubles me about the ways of the broader world, in general: Whenever some new "explanation" comes to light, there is an almost inevitable group of people who latch onto aforesaid definition and immediately start their claims that "their way" is the only true explanation out there, and anyone not willing to embrace that is potentially "delusional" and/or "lying to themselves."

There's a certain hidden irony there because often the people at the forefront of these new movements are the same people who are loudly clamoring that the (rest of the) world needs to be more open-minded and inclusive of their differences. 

Ultimately, we all just want to feel understood.

Ultimately, we want to be "part of" something that allows us to feel a little less alone and isolated.

So — particularly if we have felt "lost" for a really long time — it becomes very tempting to join the next "Club of Psychological Acronyms" that comes across our paths... and then to "swear allegiance" to that particular group's interpretation of The Truth... in the process perhaps forsaking the previous explanation we had.

I have always felt very uneasy about throwing the proverbial baby out with the bathwater. Much of the time, it doesn't make sense, and only seems to serve someone's need for solidarity, far more than their need to find answers to, and understanding of, life's mysteries as they uniquely apply to them. 

I like to step back and examine what's at hand through metaphor:

"Having a runny nose" can mean many different things, even though an outside observer sees only one thing; one symptom. You might have allergies. You might have a cold. It might be sinusitis. You might simply suffer from nonallergic rhinitis. Emphatically jumping on the bandwagon of one thing, to the exclusion of the others makes no sense, just because you are given a description!

For many years, some HSPs would search for a "condition" that would allow them to re-classify their sensitivity as something treatable. That always struck me as very sad.

As the same time, we would be wise to look at new (and old!) information with a critical eye, rather than just jump on the next pop-psychology bandwagon to come down the pike. We would also be wise to keep in mind that multiple things might be concurrently applicable!

These days, it has become increasingly "De Rigeur" to slap an "Autism Spectrum" label on anything at all that can be described as "neurodivergent." I'll be the first to say that I am very happy that the world is paying more attention to Autism! At the same time, looking at the HSP population and making a broad-brush declaration that "HSPs are just on the autism spectrum" is ultimately a bit disingenuous, just like earlier declarations that "HSPs just have Asperger's" were disingenuous.

Why do I say this? 

Well, even if we very generously concede that there might be two Autists who are successfully "masking" for every one who's diagnosed, the math still doesn't work. That would give us about 5% of the population "on the Spectrum" while 15-20% of the population are HSPs. 

And that's not about "how I feel," it's simple data analysis. 

In closing, I'll add that it's certainly possible that I am "On the Spectrum" although I don't really fit the diagnostic criteria all that well, typically described as slight-to-borderline. But there is absolutely do doubt that I match up with the HSP descriptions. 

I can make a similar case for certain aspects of living with ADHD... which I most definitely do, and have been since I was a small child. But the typical kind — the "inattentive" kind, that's all about daydraming and zoning out of reality.

It's a genine diagnosis and separate from being and HSP... and yet the two are also deeply enmeshed.

As always — and this is NOT medical advice — Do Your Own Research!

Notes from my Desk: Re-Birth, Once Again... aka "Reality Bites"

Recently, I have been considering things that "fade away" in our lives.

I'm talking about those things that just seem to "leave with a whimper," not those things we make an active decision to end, for one reason or another. As a Highly Sensitive Person, I have had many of the former things in my life — in fact, quite a few more than I am willing to admit to.

Most often, the common reason I end up pointing to is "overstimulation," that bugaboo that haunts many HSPs. In my case, "abandoned projects" are almost inevitably the result of launching into a project with enthusiasm, then "something" happens and the project gets temporarily put on the back burner but because life is... well... busy... and I discover that I simply don't have the energy to continue at the same time as also keeping up with "regular life." As more time passes, "temporarily" gradually becomes "permanently."

Not because I don't like the project anymore... but because dealing with it feels like "too much," on top of everything else.

Often, what I think of as "in this moment overstimulation" is replaced with a sort of "long term overstimulation" as I consider the fact that I really do want to continue with some project on my metaphorical back burner, but now it has gone from merely a "resuming" situation, to needing to find six free days to (re)organize everything merely so that I can get back to the point where I originally let things slide. By then it feels like a huge project, and so I am avoiding it, because I know it will feel overwhelming once I get started again.

I suppose we all get involved in something from time to time, and let it slide away. Maybe that's just human nature and not "HSP nature." And seriously? It only bugs me when I recognize that something really worthwhile has gotten away from me... and there is not enough ME to do what I want to do.

So... why am I writing this?

One of the facts of my reality I often end up pondering is how often it feels like there simply isn't "enough ME" to go around; to apply to the things I deem important.

On deeper examination, I end up facing the simple fact that the mere process of "earning a living" as a self-employed person leaves pretty much zero energy in reserve to merely do things for fun. In her books and workshops, Elaine Aron speaks about how it is important for HSPs to not work too much, as a way to manage overstimulation and eventual burnout.

I definitely don't want to work a lot, but in the USA in 2023 many of us don't have much choice. You work a lot, or you end up living in a cardboard box.

There are property taxes due, in a couple of weeks. You pay them, or you lose your home... a realization that what we "have" in life often hangs by a fragile thread. 

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I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

Anniversary Time: 20 Years of HSP Notes!

On September 26th, 2002 I got this crazy idea that I was going to start keeping a blog/journal about the whole "HSP Experience," at least as it was unfolding for me. 

At the time, I had been exploring the concept of being a "Highly Sensitive Person" for a little over five years, having stumbled upon Elaine Aron's first book in January of 1997.

I wasn't actually too sure as to what I was planning to write about, but I had a fair bit of enthusiasm... and I was starting to become quite active in a number of online HSP forums and message board communities, so I figured I could always write about some of the insights and ideas I picked up there. 

Those were the early days of "HSP awareness;" a time where the number of people who were openly aware that they were Highly Sensitive was pretty limited.

The whole idea of "blogging" was also still somewhat new to the world, but I had kept a paper journal for many years, so the idea of writing on a regular basis was not strange to me.

On the other hand, it was a pretty strange "project" for me to undertake; taking on such a public thing to do, for someone whose natural preference was to remain eternally in the shadows where I would not be noticed.

A lot of water has passed under the bridge, since then. More than 250 posts/articles about various aspects of life as an HSP have been written... and that's just on this site.

Alas, I don't write here as much as I once did, but I still feel moderately proud of at least having written something every year for all twenty years! And I know that 20 years is akin to ancient, in an Internet context.

Somewhere along the way, I determined that I was not — after all — going to become someone who spends their life teaching HSPs, at least not in the formal sense. It was an idea I toyed with for about a decade... but it was just never a "shoe" that fit very well.

Instead, I followed a path people often do, when it comes to learning something: We learn what we need to about the fundamentals of some topic, incorporate the learning into our daily lives... and the object of our attention then moves from holding a "centerpiece position" in our lives to simply being something we are always aware of, while no longer our primary defining characteristic.

That's not to say that I am no longer an HSP (as I wrote about, earlier this year), it just means that I am no longer walking down the street waving a metaphorical "HSP flag," I am instead living my life as a Human, who just happens to be an HSP.

And I think that's a pretty good life, all in all!

Do I ever wish I were not an HSP? Honestly... no. I used to wish I were different, but along the way I made peace with exactly who I am, even if that sometimes doesn't suit everyone in my life. In the end, it's my life, not theirs!

Meanwhile, a heartfelt "thank you" to the hundreds of HSPs I have met face-to-face, as well as the thousands I have had contact with through online groups and forums... and especially to the hundreds of thousands who have visited these pages since 2002, and who continue to visit. It never ceases to amaze me just how many people come here... and if even one person finds something useful here that helps make their day/life a little easier, then this whole experiment will have been a success!

And — with a bit of luck — I will still be doing this long enough to have a 25th anniversary, as well!

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I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

HSP Life: Do we get More Sensitive as we Age?

One of the questions I have been asked a lot over the years is whether or not we get more sensitive, as we age.

It's definitely a worthy question, and many people I have talked to are convinced that their sensitivity has increased as they entered their 40's 50's, 60's and beyond.

Personally speaking, I don't really believe that we get more sensitive as we age. I think we just become more aware of our sensitivities. We also gain more life experience, meaning that we are more readily able to be tuned in to what's going on with us, in terms of emotions, stimulation level, and so forth.

To be a little more specific, when we start to feel overstimulated in a given situation we grow more aware of the fact that what's happening is overstimulation rather than something else like anxiety or nervousness. When we were younger, it was easier to just overlook or tune these things out. This heightened awareness doesn't necessarily mean that we are more sensitive it just means we're more tuned in to our sensitivity. 

Since I have experienced that growing awareness in my own life as I have aged — I will turn 62, later this year — the outcome is that I tend to step away from more situations than I did in my youth. To the casual observer number that might look like I have become more sensitive than I used to be, because I am a less willing participant in what I generally think of as "noisy activities."

From the inside, however, I really don't feel any more sensitive than I ever was. 

This particular topic has been discussed at great length at workshops and in a number of online HSP forums and other discussion groups and people never seem to arrive at a firm conclusion. 

I am just not convinced that we become more sensitive as we age, I just think we become less tolerant of/willing to deal with overstimulation when we know we're facing a situation in which it is likely to happen. 

I'll finish with the reminder that this is just my experience, and my opinion... and yours might be quite different!

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I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

Reflection: 25 Years of HSP-ness!

In early January 1997, I found myself at a Borders bookstore in Austin, Texas, looking forward to an afternoon of looking at books and spending a $50 gift certificate I had received for Christmas.

It was on that day I accidentally stumbled across Elaine Aron's "The Highly Sensitive Person" for the first time. I say "accidentally," because the book had been left behind by someone in the travel section.

I won't go into detail about that day — I have covered that elsewhere in these pages — but this morning I thought about how twenty-five years is really a long time. And yet? It doesn't seem that long ago. 

The book was pretty new when I found it; it was first published in 1996. 

So what have we learned, since then? What have I learned, since then?

Personally speaking, I have learned that there truly is a reason for why I often feel a little out of step with my surroundings, and the people in it.

Meanwhile, I have also come to embrace that "Being an HSP" is not some kind of excuse or "hall pass" that allows me to get special treatment. My sensitivity is merely a fact of life, much like someone might live with allergies, or a tendency to get sunburned very easily. Knowing that I am an HSP simply allows me to make somewhat more informed choices for my life. And that's a good thing.

Because I write a blog about high sensitivity, I sometimes get asked whether I consider myself to be part of the "HSP movement." I tend to distance myself a little bit from that, primarily because movements — whereas they definitely can be beneficial — tend to come at the world from a position of victimhood. And I'm not a victim of my sensitivities.

I simply offer my sincere perspective, with no attachment to whether or not other people agree with them. But if some of these words are helpful to people... then that's a good "movement!"

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I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

Moment for reflection: No, I Didn’t Stop “Being an HSP!”

As I sit here reflecting on a rainy afternoon, I found myself pondering a question somebody asked me not too long ago: they quite sincerely commented on my Facebook page as to ”why I had stopped being an HSP.”

I felt a little taken aback by the question because you can't stop being an HSP, since we're dealing with an ingrown trait here... and the person wondering was an HSP, herself.

But I chose not to fall into "affronted and reactionary" mode and instead pondered the deeper meaning of the inquiry. 

The point , of course, was that I didn't seem to be writing about HSPs anymore, and I wasn't active on HSP forums the way I had been in the past, and I had to confess that I had reached a point where the whole highly sensitive person community just didn't seem like it was very interesting to me anymore. I could even look at the posting archive of this HSP Notes blog and see a distinct dropoff in the frequency of my new contributions.

The person who had commented was not actually being critical, they were lamenting my absence. 

It will soon be 25 years since I first came across the term “Highly Sensitive Person.” That could very well be one-third of my life!

I think it would be safe to say that we all go through an evolution of sorts from the first moment we learn that there is actually a name for this “thing” that we are to the present moment we find ourselves in. 

Some years back I reached the point where I realized that the statement “I am an HSP” no longer was appropriate as the centerpiece of my self-definition. Yes, I am still in HSP, but I don't really have anything to prove and I don't really have a world I need to change anymore. That is, I'm not on some kind of active crusade to make everybody aware of the trait of high sensitivity. 

There was a time when I was, and I even thought I would end up teaching and giving workshops about the HSP trait. But I realized that it was/is not really who I am! 

In other words, I have moved on to the next phase of my life, one in which I am simply a PERSON living their life and “being an HSP” is simply one of many attributes that describe me. 

I suppose this is a change on some level, because there was a time when “teaching” was more important to me. I can't say exactly when it happened, but at some point I decided that I'm really not a teacher and that there are others out there who do a much better job of it than I do. That doesn't mean that I don't enjoy passing along information to somebody who's struggling to find their path through life, it just means I don't go actively seeking it anymore. 

As such, the “HSP Notes” blog and website is perhaps becoming less about parts of the trait itself, and more about how a human being — who happens to be an HSP — is living their life.  

Somebody else had asked me if I had “grown bored” with being part of the HSP community. The answer to that is also “no.” More than anything, it is as I determined before: that I don't really have a great interest in being a teacher, nor in being a "banner bearer" for the HSP movement.

And with that, we can perhaps find another puzzle piece in the evolution of an HSP: I have reached a place in my life where I openly embrace what I want to do, rather than feel pressured to do what others think I “should” do. 

And I believe that's an important point to make here. I think it is true of many highly sensitive people that they tend to succumb to feelings of “obligation” rather more often than is healthy, and when that really isn't their highest and best path. 

Anyway, I felt compelled to put out a few words while I'm sitting here in the middle of doing some minor redesign work on the HSP Notes website.

Part of what I will be doing, is adding more links to the other places where I write. That, in itself, is another of my puzzle pieces: I still love to write but my writing has changed from writing about being an HSP to writing whatever it is I want to write, albeit through the eyes of an HSP. Maybe those two sound very similar but they're actually a bit different. 

How different? Well, that remains to be explored!

As always, thanks for stopping by!

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I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

HSPs, Overwhelm and Procrastination

I tend to be a horrible procrastinator!

Now, I'm not for a moment trying to claim that procrastination is part of the HSP trait... but the more I think about it, the more I recognize that sometimes there is a link there.

For example, I will put off doing things I "have to" do, when I also know that those things are likely to leave me feeling overstimulated and strung out. 

That one's pretty obvious! I believe that happens to many who are Highly Sensitive.

However, more often I end up procrastinating because I will sit down in the morning and look at all the things that need to be done on that day, and then I will realize that the workload at hand is huge, and then I will start feeling overwhelmed because of the realization that there is no way I'll get it all done.

And when I start feeling overwhelmed, I can also sense that the procrastination starts to set in... as a result of feeling frustration and futility. Feeling overwhelmed knocks my actual productivity for a loop, and I end up sitting there, sorting my pencils or something else... a bit like a deer caught in the proverbial headlights.

"What's the point of even STARTING, when it's perfectly obvious I won't be able to FINISH?"

This is a part of my life that has become more pronounced as I have aged and have realized that there so often is "more LIFE than there is ME to deal with it."

When I was younger, I would just forge ahead regardless, exhaust myself and end up feeling depressed and dejected at my "inability" to handle life's workload.

There days, I'm far less willing to end up like that.

With that, comes the realization of just how important it is for HSPs to strive for "simplicity" in their lives. The fewer "plates" we have to try to keep spinning, the more likely we are to be able to manage that creeping sensation that we're about to become overwhelmed by the task(s) at hand. 

Simplify, simplify, simplify...

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I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

HSPs Supporting HSPs: An Invitation

One of the things I like to do from time to time is talk about how we HSPs can support each other... in a world (sadly!) where we often don't get all that much support.

I don't often promote things like events and workshops directly, but in these days of uncertainty and change, sometimes we can really benefit from changing our narrative and doing something good for ourselves.

Recently, my wife Sarah — who is also an HSP, of course — was named as one of the "top experts" on "Learn It Live", which is an online spiritual and self-development portal offering thousands of workshops by hundreds of experts across the fields of mind-body-spirit wellness.

She has been invited to be a presenter in the "Consciousness and Wellness in the Time of COVID" Symposium, and will be teaching her "Controlling the Narrative of Your Life: The Crystal Blue Sapphire Meditation" during one of the keynote times, at 7:00pm Eastern/4:00pm Pacific time on November 13th.

She has been teaching this 60-minute workshop for 20+ years, and I have personally used the technique she teaches, and I have seen how it has transformed the lives of 100's of people. I can also vouch for it being appropriate for HSPs.

Anyway, I'd like to encourage you sign up for this workshop... because one of the things we CAN do for ourselves during these difficult times is keep learning, and keep working on ourselves! It's a live online symposium and class, so you can do all this from the comfort and safety of your home.

Now, there are two ways to do this: 

One, go to the Learn It Live Website and create a basic (free!) Learn-it-Life account, and then you can simply register for the workshop, which is just $15 which is WELL worth it (It often goes for $50-75 for the session, elsewhere).

Alternately, you can sign up for a Learn-it-Live "Plus" membership, and then enroll in the workshop absolutely FREE by using the coupon code "SymposiumFree" at checkout time. 

Learn-it-Live is actually an amazing venue for HSPs, so I do recommend that you at least get a trial "Plus" membership for just $7.95 a month... you can always cancel it later, and it would give you access to Sarah's workshop for free!

You might actually discover — as I did — that there are lots of classes there I'd be interested in taking... and you might even be interested in teaching something!

Give it some serious thought... it's something good to do for yourself!

HSP Life in the Age of Covid-19

These are strange days in which we live!

Of course, I can only speak for myself, but I can't help but think that there are ways in which the current state of the world weighs heavily on us HSPs... if nothing else, simply because we tend to spend a lot of time "thinking about things."

From a personal angle, I have to admit that the "shelter-in-place" mandates and limited mobility has not exactly been a hardship around here. I tend to shelter-in-place anyway, and I go out as little as possible at the best of times. 

I have been using the past few months to catch up on a lot of reading and organizing around the house, and we found ourselves having the time to work extensively in our garden, and we grew a record amount of our own food, from our little patch of land. 

Those are definitely positives!

On the other hand, this thing the mental health profession is increasingly referring to as "Covid Fatigue" does feel like a very real thing.

It seems to be the result of the new reality that no matter what we do or think, we now "filter" pretty much every decision and action through the lens of being aware of the potential impact this "pandemic" has on what we find ourselves in the middle of.

Often, the effects are quite indirect. A letter to relatives in Europe suddenly taking two weeks to get there, rather than five days. Not being able to get certain things. One of your favorite stores being closed. The simple fact that grocery shopping often takes twice as long as it used to, because of all the preparations and precautions we now take. The realization that it has become unwise to do certain things.

At our house, we feel it more directly, as well. I make substantially most of my living from online sales, and — due to people feeling uncertain about their jobs and incomes — my income (which wasn't much to start with) has been slowly declining all year. 

The other mental/emotional "weight" I feel a lot comes from the simple realization that we really don't know how long this "thing" is going to be with us... and that leads to the next realization that there most likely will be no "return to normal." If there ever was a "normal" it's long gone, and all we can likely look forward to at this point is an entirely new paradigm for human existence. 

Not sure how I feel about that... because I find myself really struggling to visualize a positive outcome.

Meanwhile, the entire "energetic feel" of the greater world seems to have taken on a gray filter... reflected by the broader subtext of frustration, anxiety, despair and sadness so many people are experiencing, these days. And anger. There seem to be abnormally many public flareups of anger.

Here in the US, it's not made any "lighter" by the fact that we are running into the final weeks of a Presidential election campaign... something that often brings out the worst in people, even at the best of times!

I have never been big on "Rah-Rah Positivity Parties," particularly when there's no objective reason to have one. Meaning... that I have no great advice to offer on how to magically "feel better about everything." If anything, I'd encourage everyone to simply allow themselves to "feel their feels" honestly, rather than sticking your head in the sand and pretending everything is A-OK. 

Because, quite honestly, everything is not A-OK...

What has helped me most has been to do my best to not dwell excessively on things I have no control over. I try to direct my energies where I do have some influence: Getting long-postponed projects at home done, working on things I do enjoy — like my art, my photography and my writing — and making sure that I get outside. We HSPs benefit a lot from the healing power of nature, even if that "nature" is nothing more than sitting and looking at the flowers in our apartment complex grounds. 

In the meantime, stay safe and healthy, wherever you may be!

---

I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

Writing a Book, After All These Years! (Deja-vu?)

If you have been following HSP Notes for some time, you might remember that I have periodically been toying with the idea of writing a book. As is the case with many great plans, so far it has been all talk and no action. 

One of the challenges for me is that I tend to have a fairly short attention span. Some would call it ADHD. Either way, whereas it is not hard for me to write hundreds and even thousands of blog posts and articles, the thought of actually sitting down and stringing together 75,000 cohesive words into a book feels daunting, terrifying and overwhelming. 

As I read these words I just wrote, it actually sounds a little strange even to me. After all, I probably write something on the order of 500,000 words a year in terms of blog posts and articles, across dozens of online venues.

But no mind. 

One of the things that was suggested to me by a friend — and this is actually a very good suggestion — is that instead of writing an entire book from scratch why not simply compile and update a series of my most popular and significant personal essays about life as an HSP and turn those into a book. 

Of course I have always had perfectly good excuses for not finding the time to do so! 

But here we are in the times of COVID-19, and I am spending more time at home than ever before, and it just seems like the right time to get this project on the road. Hey, I'm not getting any younger!

Oddly enough the impetus — which happened quite recently — was that our power went out one day. When our power came back on, our Internet was out. 

And it stayed out for five days.

It's remarkable how dependent some of us are on being online. Although I didn't exactly find myself having withdrawals, I realized that I have become very used to working on the computer. Granted, I make 90% of my living online... but even so. 

Anyway, one of the things I used those five days for was to organize all my writing files here on my desktop computer, and then getting started on this project of choosing the best of my HSP essays with an eye towards creating a book. 

Of course, some of these pieces — while still good and relevant — will need a facelift, having been written as far back as 2003. But at least the task feels less daunting, knowing that I already have "The Bones" writen!

I'm not making any promises as to when this will be done and in print However, with the annual NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) challenge right around the corner — it happens during the month of November every year — the timing seems fortuitous.

So, I'm off and running! So far, five (of maybe 25?) essays chosen and "cleaned up."

Stay tuned for more! If you'd like to support this project, please consider joining my Patreon appeal!

Thank you, and till the next one!

---

I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

HSP Living: Be Kind, Whenever Possible!

Be kind whenever possible. It is ALWAYS possible!

~ H.H. The Dalai Lama

The above quote has been a favorite of mine for a very long time.

It resonates rather deeply with me, and I realized recently that the underlying idea has been close to my heart since childhood.

When I was a little kid — perhaps no more than 5-6 years old — I distinctly remember one of my core desires in life was for people to just be nice to each other. I just wanted people to get along.

To my considerable distress, so many people around me seemed both mean and harsh... and definitely not kind to each other. In many ways, it was the harshness and abrasiveness of the external world that ultimately inspired the (working) title for a book I have been working on for some years: "Please Don't Yell At Me!"

Even when people were not actually yelling, their very "way of being" felt very loud and invasive, and I found myself wanting to get away from it. This tendency became even more pronounced when I started school and encountered bullies, for the first time!

Of course, I must hasten to add that mere "kindness" is not an actual attribute of the HSP trait. HSPs can be kind... or not. However, what does tend to become part of an HSP's experience of life is the lingering effects left behind by those people who are not kind to us.

Because we experience everything so intensely, we also tend to experience a lack of kindness very intensely... and then we go on to remember it for a long time, regardless of whether we "want to," or not. Even when it might be well-meaning, someone saying "You just need to get OVER it!" is not very helpful. You've probably experienced that...

Standing By Our Values...

It can be quite a challenge to stand by our values; our core sense of what feels right... in a world that often doesn't seem to care about such things.

When people are being buttheads and mean to us, there's often a temptation to "rise, and take the bait" and return the argument in-kind. But — as a wise person once pointed out to me — a nasty individual has far more practice at being nasty than I have!

On the other hand, I have often found that my refusal to get embroiled in a loud and overstimulating argument is perceived as a variety of generally negative things... from being passive, to being weak, to not caring, to lacking passion.

More than 90% of the time, those assertions are simply not true!

So I remind myself of a few things I have learned, along the way:

I can be enthusiastic, without yelling.
I can be passionate, without overpowering.
I can have boundaries, without being forceful.
And I can be kind, whenever possible!

Thanks for reading!

---

I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

Life is a Series of Constant Re-Inventions

We HSPs are generally not fond of change.

Or we may be fond of change, but still find it massively disruptive and overstimulating to deal with it.

The latter, I suppose, holds more true for HSS HSPs.

I have been absent from these pages, for a while...

Once again — at age 58 — I find myself in the process of "reinventing myself."

As my three readers might remember, I have spent most of my adult life engaged in some form of self-employment. This is generally a really good "fit" for HSPs... we get to do things largely on our own terms, which typically includes creating a work-life that allows us to keep the lid somewhat on overstimulation, and at least manage it.

Of course, even when things are working quite well, change happens.

In this case, I am facing the reality that two of my four home-based micro businesses that have been sustaining us for the past decade+ have been in steady decline for some years — one due to an aging and dying primary demographic, the other due to competition from inexpensive alternatives in S.E. Asia — and we have reached a place (financially) where steadily increasing costs of living have overtaken steadily declining income.

So much for being in your "peak earning years" during your 50s!

There is always a "tipping point" in these situations... very minor events set a much larger action in motion. In our case, it was our homeowner's insurance. The renewal policy for the same insurance coverage we've had for six years arrived. Normally, the premiums have been ticking up 2-3% a year, which is bearable. This year, however, the monthly payments jumped from $108.50 to $132.17, an increase of 21.8%.

We all know that inflation is only about 2-3% a year, so what gives? Well, our home "turned 40" this year, which means being part of a different "risk pool."

Meanwhile, the fact that the "equation" is no longer working means not only that changes have to happen, but that the overstimulation is ramping up again. Well... it has already been that way for a while. Being perpetually late on your bills is stressful and overstimulating.

"Stuff Should be Free!" is Bogus!

Bit of a side track here, for a moment:

It's a nice piece of idealism to suggest that we should do things simply because it's the right thing to do, but until the supermarket thinks it's "the right thing to do" to give me my food for free, I'm not convinced. 

Much as I'd love for it to be real, we do not live in a "Star Trek Universe!"

Certainly, I'm not suggesting that we shouldn't do things for each other and help each other out; what I am talking about here applies on a larger scale. I am talking about things we continuously bring to the world that most people find to be "of value," and yet we are never compensated for them. Ultimately... there is no reciprocity!

I am also well aware that simply "Being A Good Person" is not a marketable commodity. Whereas people might appreciate our "goodness" we aren't going to get paid for it.

Not so long ago, I was having a conversation with a spiritual teacher who opined that you should never give away that which you have the most talent at. 

I can assure you that most "starving artists" don't want to starve; they are starving because other people keep insisting that they should do their art "purely for the love of it," and give them lots of pats on their backs for their amazing creativity, yet the moment they put a price tag on that art those same people instead start judging and accuse the artists of "Selling Out."

I agree with my spiritual friend that such a line of reasoning is not only hypocrisy, but also garbage.

Anyway, now I am reinventing myself... again. 

And so, I am also kicking life back into this HSP Notes blog, which — after all — remains the oldest chronicle of my journey through understanding this "sensitivity" thing in existence. I started this in 2002, five years after reading Elaine Aron's first book. Hundreds of blog posts over a 17-year period chronicle experiences, insights, lessons and the journey, itself.

I stopped, for a while, because I quite simply couldn't justify spending the time I spent here... without compensation. I had to spend that time doing something income producing. I also was working with a couple of other projects — and a different blog.

More about those, later.

Cha- Cha- Cha- Changes...

As I go back to writing more frequent articles about life as it intersects with being a Highly Sensitive Person, I will also be changing how this blog works, a little.

For some time, I have had limited advertising as well as some Amazon product links here... but these have gradually become less and less capable of producing more than a few cents, so they are going to go away over the next few months.

One of the things I have been increasingly involved with is the principle of "Voluntaryism."

To clarify, Voluntaryism is NOT the same thing as Volunteering. Voluntaryism is more economic in nature, and centers around the idea that things are basically free, but if a "recipient" believes that what they are getting "has value" — either to them, or to the greater community — there is a "payment system" in place that allows those recipients (or readers, or beneficiaries) to voluntarily compensate whoever created the thing of value.

Accordingly, I have decided that some of the more elaborate and research-based posts here will become available only through voluntary subscriptions to a Patreon account. This Patreon account will also serve as the "front end" for my efforts of putting together a book I announced long ago entitled "Please Don't Yell At Me! An HSP's Journey," which I have partly written, but never finished.

Those who are willing to "co-sponsor" my efforts (basically, allowing me to spend time writing, rather than being at work during those few hours a week, making a living), would be helping me not only make the book possible, but they would end up having "prepaid" for their own copy, when published. Hopefully, it will be a win-win situation.

And no worries, we are talking about a monthly commitment of probably less than you pay for a cup of coffee or tea at your local coffee shop! And, again, it will be voluntary... but hopefully it will make you feel like you are doing a "right thing" for the HSP community, as well!

I am simply trying to make some things — things that are important to me, and to quite a few other people — functionally possible, in the context of my life.

Stay tuned for more frequent updates, as the process unfolds! At this point, I'm looking to have the whole redesign and new direction operational by June 30th.

Thanks for reading!

I want to hear from you! I grew up in the era of "social blogging," and I believe blogs should be interactive, like mini message boards. Thus, your comments, feedback, ideas and thoughts are always welcome here, and I will do my best to respond, as well!

Learning About the HSP Trait: What's the Ultimate Objective?

I went to the doctor yesterday.

Although we don't really talk much about it, my doctor knows that I am an HSP, and she respects what that entails. In the course of our conversations, we have gently agreed that "Being an HSP" is akin to what was once upon a time thought of as "being highly strung."

We don't talk much about it, though. It has become "old news."

Instead, we talk about my health. I suffer from hypertension (aka "high blood pressure"), and from years of observation, we know that my primary trigger for "hypertensive events" revolve around stress and anxiety.

Actually, I should phrase that very carefully.

You see, I don't suffer from any kind of "anxiety disorder," I simply suffer from overstimulation, HSP style. I am perfectly capable of going into the world and dealing with "whatever hardships come up," and there are few things I can't handle. My body, however, disagrees.

One of the interesting things we've learned about me is that — absent stress and the need to interface with the world — my blood pressure is actually within the "normal" range.

Yesterday, we had this conversation again, as my vitals were once again elevated. My body simply doesn't like the process of "adulting."

Alas, few of us have the luxury of simply sitting in a lawn chair, watching clouds drift by... while "the stuff of life" takes care of itself.

The Progression of HSP Self-Awareness

After the doctor's visit, I got to thinking about this whole thing called "being an HSP."

It has been 21 years and change since I first bumped into the idea. It seems to me that we go through "stages" of being a Highly Sensitive Person.

At first, it tends to be all shiny, exciting and new; we absorb everything we can read and hear; suddenly it seems like we have a natural and well-fitting explanation for why we are the way we are. Which is a marvelous thing!

Then we go through a period of learning and integrating. This often involves joining groups, going to workshops and doing something akin to "becoming an expert" on the topic, as it relates to ourselves.

Oftentimes, we slip into a state of cognitive bias — just about everything that happens is "because I am an HSP." Of course, that's probably rather inconsistent with reality, but we're looking for ways to "make the shoe fit."

After a while, we move onto "integration." We start to become more honest about the ways the trait affects our lives... and the ways it doesn't. At least... that's what happens for those who are honest with themselves; some, it seems, stay in that place where "EVERYthing happens this way because I am an HSP."

But THEN What?

Perhaps the ultimate objective of learning all we can about being an HSP is that we get to return to "just being a person."

As I look back on my doctors' visit, I came to realize that it has been several years since I have thought of myself through the lens of perception that "I am an HSP." The trait doesn't define me, it simply adds a layer of understanding to the overall picture of what it means to be me.

I understand certain things about myself, and understand which of those things happen to be a consequence of my high sensitivity, and I try to arrange my life accordingly.

In formalizing this realization last night, I also came to understand why we see "familiar faces" in online HSP groups, as well as keepers of HSP blogs and web sites suddenly "fall off the radar." They've simply gotten all they needed from their activities, and then moved on.

Think of it a but like attending University: You learn a lot, and then you get a degree and graduate. Maybe you stay on and keep learning, getting a graduate degree. But eventually you're done. And that's actually the natural order of things —if you're NOT seeing that, you run the risk of becoming "that eternal student," working on their 6th degree because they never found the courage to actually go out and be part of life, using the learning they'd experienced.

And so — aside from the fact that I occasionally teach and give workshops — I am done with "being an HSP." I have returned to simply being ME.

How about YOU? Where are YOU, on your HSP Journey of Learning? How long ago was it that you learned that there is such a thing as a "Highly Sensitive Person?" How did it change your life? Do you feel you know what you need to know, or are you still "studying?" To what degree to you find that you "identify" with being an HSP? Leave me a comment-- be part of an ongoing dialogue!

If you enjoyed this article, please consider sharing with others through social media, your own blog, or your Facebook feed! Thank you!

"Make America Great Again"... and other illusions

A while back, I had this notion that I was going to write a meaningful post-election article about how to navigate a turbulent and uncertain world, especially if you're an HSP. It seemed like a good idea at the time... because many folks presented as deeply distressed and lost at the end of a very "noisy" Presidential election year here in the US.

As time passed, I started realizing that I felt "stuck," so the article progressed into becoming a "Thanksgiving Message," then a "Holiday Message" and ultimately a "New Year's Message." And still, I remained stuck. For some reason, I didn't really have any words-- let alone words of wisdom-- to share. 

A quick side note: I should hurry to add that this is not a political post... and it was never intended to be. It's a human post.

All other things aside, it was not until earlier today-- when a photo of Donald Trump from the campaigning days rolled across my Facebook feed-- that I understood why words had been failing me, and why so many people I know had been feeling strangely immobilized and unmotivated for the past few months.

"Make America Great Again!"

If you live in the US or follow the news, it's almost inevitable that you've seen this campaign slogan, regardless of which side of the political fence you sit on. 

"Make America Great... AGAIN!"

The words made me pause for a moment to remember how often I-- and many people-- tend to look backwards during periods where we feel under extreme duress, stress, disappointment and uncertainty. Sometimes this inclination arises as a result of loss-- a loved one dies, a relationship ends, we lose our job, our beloved pet passes, our core beliefs are rocked-- so we seek some kind of emotional "anchor" in the chaos we feel. At other times, we perceive our lives to be so uncertain that we focus on a solid memory simply because it is known, and the known affords us at least the illusion of control where we otherwise feel like we have none.

It's a natural thing we do. Regardless of whether we consider ourselves "forward looking" or prone to nostalgia, it is psychologically easier to recall feelings and events that have actually happened than to imagine feelings and events that are yet to be.. or maybe not to be. The tangible and recorded past outweighs the uncertain and ambiguous future. There's nothing wrong with that... it simply is.

But here's the rub: there is no recreating the past. This type of escape is merely an illusion. The cold reality is that the past only exists in our memories... because neither we, nor our environmental reality, exists today as it existed ten, twenty, fifty years ago. 

The "Good Old Days" are an abstraction. What's more, we tend to look back through a selective filter of positivity... we remember our favorite dog wagging his tail, not the three years where he peed on the floor twice a week.

Looking back may offer a moment of comfort, but it's not only fleeting, it's nothing more than a thin veil over a present reality that's not about to disappear.

I am originally from Europe and grew up there until moving to the US in 1981. That said, my parents lived in Phoenix, Arizona for many years, before going back "home" in 2002. 

Not long after they left the US, I went to visit them in the south of Spain where I spent my teen years. Having not been there in some 20 years, I went "time traveling," with the vague hope-- a longing-- of somehow "re-feeling" moments from my past. It was a difficult time in my life and I was perhaps trying to "run away." 

It was then I came to understand that "The Past" is not an actual thing, not a place, not a person, not an event... but simply a basket of feelings attached to a moment in time. I stood under the same trees in front of the house where we lived and looked at the same mountains across the same riverbed... and yet felt nothing. I sat in the bar where I had my first beer and drank the same kind of beer... and felt nothing. I stood on the beach where I sought solitude with my teenage angst... and felt nothing.

Well, not exactly "nothing." 

What I felt was emptiness. Disappointment. The same feeling you have when your favorite coffee mug shatters and you realize you will never have it again, even if you replace it with an identical one. The past may look rosy, but we can never go back.

Something similar happened at a different time, years later, when my parents passed away. And at an earlier time when my beloved aunt-- who helped raise me-- passed away. Both times, I looked for points in my past where things seemed... simpler; less painful; less confusing.

In each case, the memories were intact, but the attempt to recreate something "that once was" felt flat and colorless... because the person originally having the experience in real time no longer existed. 

Bringing this back to current reality in the USA, I find myself feeling for all those people in down-and-out coal country who voted for Donald Trump with dreams of looking back to an easier time when jobs were plentiful and their lives did not eternally center on where their next meal will come from. I realize that their past time of relative comfort cannot exist again because neither the society nor the people they are now are who they were then.

We can't make things anything "again." We can't unlearn what we already know to be true.

Even when we make our late mother's apple pie exactly as she did, it will never be exactly the same because the original circumstances cannot exist outside our memories.

So, regardless of whether you're a liberal who longs be in in the days of Obama or Bill Clinton, or a conservative longing for the "good old days" of the 1950's... the past for which you wax nostalgic (and perhaps make your choices based on?) cannot and will not ever exist again.

All we have is now... this present moment... and the future we can co-create by stringing together the most meaningful series of "present moments" we can come up with. Sure, our choices can be informed by our past... but there is only now as far as actually living our lives go. 

So, if you feel stuck and spend  lot of time on "if only" thinking, it's time to let it go and find the strength to get up and create a new set of memories to look back on, from some future time... 

Happy New Year!

HSP Living: Planning, Politics, Getting Started and the Fear of Change

It's the 27th of December. The year is almost over; in a few days we get to "uncork" a fresh new year, filled with...?

Regardless, 2016 will be closed and put in the history books. It was a turbulent year for many, for a variety of reasons. For some, a great year. But many will feel relieved that it's over.

A lot of folks — HSPs and otherwise — feel that the political ruckus in the USA is somehow to blame for much of their malaise. From my vantage point, there is little doubt that the Presidential race and election brought everyone in touch with "something" that made many feel...

... feel what, exactly?

I have been pondering this post for quite a while... almost two months, actually... its direction changing like the wind on the back of  each new perspective and insight; its words prompted by the insistence of some that I am — somehow — a "thought leader" in the HSP Community, so I should "say something about how we're feeling" because people "expect" it.

Seriously? I hate expectations. And I have never felt like it's my place to "speak for" people. I find it challenging enough to speak for myself.

But this morning, the last puzzle piece fell into place; the missing piece of what it is we (or many of us) are feeling.

There is little doubt in my mind that a lot of people are struggling these days; struggling emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, financially. And there is a blockage or stuck-ness there... like patiently sitting at a traffic light that never turns green because you are following the rules and haven't yet realized that the traffic light is actually broken and will never turn green. But as long as you wait at the red light you are at least safe, even if you are wasting a lot of gas and your life is wasting away.

As I said, it took me a long time to determine exactly what people were struggling with. What I was struggling with. What also took me a long time was determining how to say what I wanted to share, without the overlay of the inevitable partisan political filters that permeate the world at the moment and seem to turn every civilized discussion into a battlefield.

I wanted to simply talk about what many are feeling from a purely human perspective, rather than a "Liberal" or "Conservative" perspective.

As HSPs — Highly Sensitive Persons — we are given to process deeply. But sometimes this deep processing goes over the edge into a sort of "analysis paralysis." We end up creating our own "broken traffic light" to get stuck behind.

The more I considered and sat with what I was feeling — while occasionally going off on assorted tangential tirades and rants — the more I came to realize that the heart of many people's dis-ease is centered around uncertainty. The unknown. People are getting "stuck" in a variety of cycling thoughts and analyses because on Tuesday, November 8th, the US threw out everything we "know" about politics and how the conventional political system works.

Regardless of whether you hate government, mistrust government or think it's a great thing... the election of Donald Trump meant that we can no longer look at things — and count on certain processes — the way we did before. It doesn't matter what your political affiliation is, everything changed. Doesn't matter whether you think Trump represents new hope or a total disaster... it still holds true that the "old rules" and the "old system" got swept out the door.

So let's reflect on that for a moment. That's what I did, and then I realized something. In the past, there have been Presidents who did — and did not — represent my perspective or point of view. That said, my reaction back then was something along the lines of "Bummer... now we have to deal with _____ for four years" or "I feel somewhat hopeful that ____ will make a positive change." But we were always dealing with more or less "known" parameters.

But let's continue to keep partisan politics and Presidents out of the picture for a moment... and examine our fundamental humanity.

There's little doubt there were a lot of people here in the US who wanted "change." They saw a system that was broken, and perceived the need for something to be different. The entire Presidential race started off as anti-establishment, with the most visible candidates — Sanders and Trump — swinging from the wings.

Now let's shrink this down to the scale of our daily lives; we often want change. We want to get in shape, get a better job, eat healthier, cook instead of eating out, get involved in our communities, lose weight. And yet?

We seldom DO.

We conceptualize and visualize and theorize the changes we want; we plan them, journal them, meditate on them but end up not acting on them. Or we get started but end up just "dabbling." Most of us join gyms, go 5-10 times, and then slide back into our old patterns. We talk about starting our own businesses, but we never really get around to actually quitting that corporate job and jumping off the cliff into self-employment. We say we want change, but our actions betray the depth (or shallowness?) of our actual commitment.

Because we — ultimately — perceive real change to be "dangerous." It's "scary." It's "uncomfortable."

The underlying ideas and intent are beautiful and rosy, but when push comes to shove, the ongoing actions and commitment required to create real and lasting change often seem overwhelming and harsh. At least for most people. And, truth be known, slamming our fist on the table and telling all our friends that "we need changes!" keeps us dreaming, yet anchored within our comfy safety zones of no-change. It gives us a feeling of taking action, without actually DOING. As a metaphor, we may say that we want to save the environment, and we get "involved," but ultimately, re-tweeting Greenpeace and EarthFirst doesn't actually reduce our carbon footprint.

Getting back to the recent political debacle, we can look at history and see that previously elected "change" candidates have come to power within a known frame of reference. They were governors, or senators, or mayors of some city. Even if we look at Ronald Reagan and feel tempted to call him "that Hollywood actor," fact remains that he was Governor of the state of California, the 6th largest economy in the world. If we look at Minnesota's colorful former Governor, Jesse Ventura, he might have been "a ridiculous pro wrestler from TV" but even he was mayor of the city of Brooklyn Park (a good sized city in Minnesota) and involved in politics for almost ten years before becoming Governor.

We don't have that, now. Phrased as an analogy, we have someone who may have "lots of experience" at operating "heavy machinery" or "sailing giant ships" who's suddenly decided that their debut attempt at flying an airplane is going to be getting in the cockpit of a fully loaded 747 with 450 passengers onboard.

What we also have is the knowledge that it was the election process we otherwise trusted that put him there.

These are things we KNOW, regardless of whether we consider Donald Trump a "welcome change" or "a dangerous sociopath."

And so, there is a sort of "stunned silence," emotionally and spiritually speaking. As much as anything, the underlying issue many are struggling with is the utter uncertainty of the new paradigm. The inner realization that we don't get to "talk about" changes to the system anymore... they ARE HAPPENING, whether we like it or not; whether we are ready or not; whether they even are the changes we want, or not. We have been kicked out of our comfort zones.

In short, we realize we're sitting at the broken traffic light, and we will have to go through on red — dangerous as it may seem — or we will stay stuck till we die of starvation. We must move forward, or we will never get ANYwhere, let alone towards any kind of destination. And there's no "turning around and going back," because it's a one-way street.

Of course, it's also easy to fall into the trap of "spinning stories" that aren't true. Stories that can't be counted on as being the actual outcomes for the future. Stories that keep us stuck in the world of rationalizations, without doing anything to move towards the future. Towards co-creating a future, rather than helplessly get swept along by the inevitable march of time.

The other day, I heard one of the "taking heads" from a major news channel confess his regret at having taken a "Catastrophist" approach to spinning news stories and their implications for the future of the US.

Spinning the future as "eternal doom" is not only disingenuous, it keeps us stuck behind that broken red light, paralyzed by our fear of change.

People don't really like to look at logic and facts.

If you're a dyed-in-the-wool Liberal, let's face it, "half the country" aren't "violent misogynistic racist pigs with guns," starting with the plain fact that Donald Trump received the votes of about 25% of the US voting age population. It's also a pretty good bet (although this is speculation) that the "scary and dangerous" individuals many people on the left fear... likely represent only the most dedicated 20% of Trump's supporters. Which means the other 80% — whereas they may be "conservative," philosophically — are basically ordinary Americans who were fed up with the way the world was turning out.

So you're seriously going to tell me that you're prepared to let 5% of the population keep you cowering in the corner in fear for the next four years?

Don't misunderstand what I am saying here. I am NOT a Trump apologist... I'm just suggesting everyone take a step back and evaluate what we are really dealing with, in our distressed emotional states. I'm also not suggesting that those who are horrified by the current situation stand idly by and "allow" it, if they are in opposition. What I am suggesting is taking a moment to clarify exactly what and whom, you are in opposition to. It's easy to paint everything and everyone we don't like with the same broad paintbrush.

If you're a dyed-in-the-wool Conservative, let's face it, "half the country" aren't "whimpering sore-loser libtard snowflakes" longing to turn America into a socialist playground where overcooked political correctness effectively squashes Freedom of Speech just as surely as a militant dictator would. Most people you think of as "Liberals" are much like you, but just didn't believe Trump was the best option we had. 

So... let's all try to stay somewhat civil about it all, and move forward.

Thanks for reading!

And DO feel free to leave a comment!