Life Feels "More Normal," but Will it EVER Be?

Midsummer has passed.

Were I back in Denmark, we would have had the annual bonfires on the beach to celebrate summer. Instead, I find myself sitting here, revisiting memories of the last time we were in Denmark.

It was in 2015, and things were "normal," then. Sometimes I wonder whether the pre-Covid world really was "normal?" 

Seems like life is slowly returning to some semblance of normalcy, even though I am not entirely sure what that even means. Restrictions are being lifted, and now travel to Denmark has become rather easier than it used to be, with the requirement to have valid "vaccine passports" having been dropped, at least in Denmark.

I bring up "normal" because it's a term we HSPs often find ourselves thinking about, although not in connection with Covid-19 and the world. What would it be like to be "normal," some of us wonder.

Over the years, this has sometimes become a heated discussion in some of the online forums, HSP meetups and retreats I have attended. I have never quite been able to get behind the whole idea that somehow "normal" is better than the way I am. I can recognize how normal might be more convenient in certain respects, but that isn't necessarily better.

Meanwhile, is humanity any better off, as a result of having had to pause and look at a greater threat... one that kept us locked in our homes (in many cases) for extended periods of time.

Will people remember any of the insights they might have gained, as a result of this involuntary introspection? Or will things — barring another severe outbreak — simply return to the way they were before Covid-19?

I was already a cautious type person before this all started, and now I am even more of a person who always thinks things through before taking a course of action. No impulsiveness here!

The feeling I am left with is that the entire idea of a return visit to Denmark doesn't feel as joyful as it once did, almost like the past 2 1/2 years or so cast a permanent shadow that no degree of superficial normalcy will be able to remove.

Thanks for stopping by!

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I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

At The Edge of Tears: Reflections on the General State of the World

One of those “things” that seem to go hand in hand with being an HSP — I'm sure this is no new news to anyone — is that we tend to break into tears very easily.

Lately, I have increasingly found myself in a freame of mind where I feel like I am almost always on the edge of tears... for no particular reason.

I go through the usual “12 point check” for myself, trying to determine whether this sadness is coming from somebody else rather than myself; trying to remember whether there is some important anniversary of a tragic event that I've overlooked somehow; considering whether I got some bad news from a friend via social media... but these days I always come up blank.

This resigns me to the fact that what keeps me at the edge of tears all the time is simply the world at large. As best I can describe it these particular tears are related to a pervasive sense of frustration, exasperation, resignation, sadness, disappointment... I just can't quite come up with a word that concisely and elegantly encapsulates my mind.

Whatever it is, I just want to cry about it.

I think perhaps what I am so often tempted to weep for this is the sensation that we live in a world that on one level seems to be changing constantly and yet when we pull back the curtain and look at the underpinnings of humanity nothing has really changed.

I have wandered around on this planet for a little over 60 years now, and we still have wars and we still have famine and we still have domestic violence and we still have child abuse and we still have addiction and we still have pretty much every problem “the adults” were talking about when I was a little kid.

How can that not make a conscious and thinking person feel sad?

It's tempting to take the easy way out and make COVID-19 the scapegoat, but that really doesn't address the deeper issue. COVID is merely a symptom of a world out of balance; a world that has been out of balance for a very long time.

Not related...

I am writing as much as ever these days; this blog has just not been a venue I have been using very often. I'm sorry for that. It's not that I don't consider myself an HSP anymore (of course I'm still in HSP!), it's just that in the last few years things other than “hello, I'm an HSP!” have been taking center stage in my life.

All in all, I think that is part of the natural evolution we undergo as we familiarize ourselves with high sensitivity as an inborn trait. It's all exciting and takes center stage in our existence for a while, but there comes a time — unless we are called to teach — where we simply move on and incorporate the knowledge we have into our daily lives, without making it the only thing we're ever thinking about.

And yet? From time to time I long to slip back into that mode where “being an HSP” becomes almost like my hobby; a point of comfort I could always return to and seek refuge in whenever the world seemed a bit rough.

"Ah well, I'm a Highly Sensitive Person, so therefore..."

Anyway, I'm rambling a bit here so I guess I had better post this before I get too longwinded!

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I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

HSP Life in the Age of Covid-19

These are strange days in which we live!

Of course, I can only speak for myself, but I can't help but think that there are ways in which the current state of the world weighs heavily on us HSPs... if nothing else, simply because we tend to spend a lot of time "thinking about things."

From a personal angle, I have to admit that the "shelter-in-place" mandates and limited mobility has not exactly been a hardship around here. I tend to shelter-in-place anyway, and I go out as little as possible at the best of times. 

I have been using the past few months to catch up on a lot of reading and organizing around the house, and we found ourselves having the time to work extensively in our garden, and we grew a record amount of our own food, from our little patch of land. 

Those are definitely positives!

On the other hand, this thing the mental health profession is increasingly referring to as "Covid Fatigue" does feel like a very real thing.

It seems to be the result of the new reality that no matter what we do or think, we now "filter" pretty much every decision and action through the lens of being aware of the potential impact this "pandemic" has on what we find ourselves in the middle of.

Often, the effects are quite indirect. A letter to relatives in Europe suddenly taking two weeks to get there, rather than five days. Not being able to get certain things. One of your favorite stores being closed. The simple fact that grocery shopping often takes twice as long as it used to, because of all the preparations and precautions we now take. The realization that it has become unwise to do certain things.

At our house, we feel it more directly, as well. I make substantially most of my living from online sales, and — due to people feeling uncertain about their jobs and incomes — my income (which wasn't much to start with) has been slowly declining all year. 

The other mental/emotional "weight" I feel a lot comes from the simple realization that we really don't know how long this "thing" is going to be with us... and that leads to the next realization that there most likely will be no "return to normal." If there ever was a "normal" it's long gone, and all we can likely look forward to at this point is an entirely new paradigm for human existence. 

Not sure how I feel about that... because I find myself really struggling to visualize a positive outcome.

Meanwhile, the entire "energetic feel" of the greater world seems to have taken on a gray filter... reflected by the broader subtext of frustration, anxiety, despair and sadness so many people are experiencing, these days. And anger. There seem to be abnormally many public flareups of anger.

Here in the US, it's not made any "lighter" by the fact that we are running into the final weeks of a Presidential election campaign... something that often brings out the worst in people, even at the best of times!

I have never been big on "Rah-Rah Positivity Parties," particularly when there's no objective reason to have one. Meaning... that I have no great advice to offer on how to magically "feel better about everything." If anything, I'd encourage everyone to simply allow themselves to "feel their feels" honestly, rather than sticking your head in the sand and pretending everything is A-OK. 

Because, quite honestly, everything is not A-OK...

What has helped me most has been to do my best to not dwell excessively on things I have no control over. I try to direct my energies where I do have some influence: Getting long-postponed projects at home done, working on things I do enjoy — like my art, my photography and my writing — and making sure that I get outside. We HSPs benefit a lot from the healing power of nature, even if that "nature" is nothing more than sitting and looking at the flowers in our apartment complex grounds. 

In the meantime, stay safe and healthy, wherever you may be!

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I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!