Life in 2025 — It's not Easy!

The month of January always holds a little extra meaning for me. It was in January of 1997 I more or less accidentally stumbled upon Elaine Aron's "The Highly Sensitive Person" at a Borders Books and Music store in Austin, Texas.

It's hard to believe it has been 28 YEARS...

I have learned a lot in the course of those 28 years, not just about myself, but also from the thousands of fellow HSPs I have had the pleasure and privilege to meet on this journey... both online and face-to-face.

We are a pretty amazing bunch of people, and we are definitely "of another species!" I say that only somewhat facetiously, because most of us really do see and parse the world differently from the mainstream.

So here we are, at the beginning of another new year, and somehow we have also made it one-quarter of the way into a new millennium. I am not going to talk about "New Year's Resolutions" here, because I feel they are one of those cultural inventions that just result in our placing undue pressure on ourselves (stress) and then dinging our self-esteem (stress) when we fall short of our plans.

I prefer to simply recognize that it is time for something in my life to change, make a plan... and then simply make the changes, without much fanfare or telling anyone. If someone notices something has changed, great!

Whereas I realize that some people feel motivated by a "public announcement", I personally find that I just get stressed out by focusing too much on "other people's opinions" rather than just quietly executing my own plan.

A large part of managing myself as an HSP revolves around simply not participating in the situations that most likely will lead to overwhelm and overstmulation.

As a wise person once told me: "NO is a complete sentence." It's OK — if not essential — to say no.

What I am doing at the moment is "taking stock."

My therapist admitted that she was "not surprised" that I feel perpetually overwhelmed by everything in my life, because I am trying to balance so many things, all at once...

But why?

I expect it is mostly just the way of life, in 2025. The mere business of being alive becomes costlier and costlier at a far more rapid pace than my income grows. In fact, my income has been pretty much stagnant since 2019.

I imagine I am not the only one facing this kind of situation. 

HSP Life: Do we get More Sensitive as we Age?

One of the questions I have been asked a lot over the years is whether or not we get more sensitive, as we age.

It's definitely a worthy question, and many people I have talked to are convinced that their sensitivity has increased as they entered their 40's 50's, 60's and beyond.

Personally speaking, I don't really believe that we get more sensitive as we age. I think we just become more aware of our sensitivities. We also gain more life experience, meaning that we are more readily able to be tuned in to what's going on with us, in terms of emotions, stimulation level, and so forth.

To be a little more specific, when we start to feel overstimulated in a given situation we grow more aware of the fact that what's happening is overstimulation rather than something else like anxiety or nervousness. When we were younger, it was easier to just overlook or tune these things out. This heightened awareness doesn't necessarily mean that we are more sensitive it just means we're more tuned in to our sensitivity. 

Since I have experienced that growing awareness in my own life as I have aged — I will turn 62, later this year — the outcome is that I tend to step away from more situations than I did in my youth. To the casual observer number that might look like I have become more sensitive than I used to be, because I am a less willing participant in what I generally think of as "noisy activities."

From the inside, however, I really don't feel any more sensitive than I ever was. 

This particular topic has been discussed at great length at workshops and in a number of online HSP forums and other discussion groups and people never seem to arrive at a firm conclusion. 

I am just not convinced that we become more sensitive as we age, I just think we become less tolerant of/willing to deal with overstimulation when we know we're facing a situation in which it is likely to happen. 

I'll finish with the reminder that this is just my experience, and my opinion... and yours might be quite different!

---

I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

A Life of Noise Sensitivity and Feeling Like I was BORN Overstimulated

Sometimes I have a feeling that I was actually born overwhelmed (or "overstimulated"), as it were. 

It seems like as far as back as I can remember I was always very hesitant to get involved in anything that made noise or in anything that had "flashy moving colors" or anything like that. At the same time, it seemed like I always wanted to do very "adult" things when I was a young kid... even though my mother was always "strongly encouraging" (read: "Forcing") me to get out there and do things that allegedly "healthy" kids were supposed to do. 

But I just didn't want to; it felt like having my head inside a garbage grinder or a drum that somebody was randomly beating on.

When I look back at many of my moments of great anxiety and terror, I can also clearly recall that most of them involved something that was very loud and in my face and made me feel like I just was going to explode if they continued. And it was on occasions like that represented pretty much the only times I remember the words "don't mind him, he's just too sensitive!" actually coming out of my mother's mouth.

If course, they were far more of a criticism and excuse than any kind of supportiveness of my sensitivity.

My maternal grandfather thought I would be interested in seeing the trains, so we'd walk down to the nearby rail line. I did love looking at the trains... as long as they were just parked. When they were actually passing by, I wanted to be several hundred yards away!

I just wanted things around me to be quiet; soft.

Of course, they never were... except when I'd ride my bicycle out into the nearby woods to be with myself and nature.

Ironically, I ended up working at my dad's bottle cap factory when I was in my teens... one of the noisiest environments you could possibly imagine. Think of the sound of a cascade of metal bottle caps raining onto a resonant hard surface, and you get the idea. I wore earplugs and gradually adjusted to the dull roar because about $8 an hour was a LOT of money in 1974, and when you were just a 14-year old kid!

Noise has an interesting effect on my system... it doesn't matter what the source is, it feels like it is slowly sucking the life force out of my very being. That can even be applied to ostensibly "enjoyable" noise like rock concerts, or even loud car stereos.

Needless to say, I never went through a "headbanger music" phase!

I still go to great lengths to avoid noisy situations, and turn down many invitations if I get the sense that they will be very loud. My preferred noise level is to sit somewhere with no human-made sounds, just listening to the sound of waves and wind rustling the leaves of the trees.

---

I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

HSPs, Overwhelm and Procrastination

I tend to be a horrible procrastinator!

Now, I'm not for a moment trying to claim that procrastination is part of the HSP trait... but the more I think about it, the more I recognize that sometimes there is a link there.

For example, I will put off doing things I "have to" do, when I also know that those things are likely to leave me feeling overstimulated and strung out. 

That one's pretty obvious! I believe that happens to many who are Highly Sensitive.

However, more often I end up procrastinating because I will sit down in the morning and look at all the things that need to be done on that day, and then I will realize that the workload at hand is huge, and then I will start feeling overwhelmed because of the realization that there is no way I'll get it all done.

And when I start feeling overwhelmed, I can also sense that the procrastination starts to set in... as a result of feeling frustration and futility. Feeling overwhelmed knocks my actual productivity for a loop, and I end up sitting there, sorting my pencils or something else... a bit like a deer caught in the proverbial headlights.

"What's the point of even STARTING, when it's perfectly obvious I won't be able to FINISH?"

This is a part of my life that has become more pronounced as I have aged and have realized that there so often is "more LIFE than there is ME to deal with it."

When I was younger, I would just forge ahead regardless, exhaust myself and end up feeling depressed and dejected at my "inability" to handle life's workload.

There days, I'm far less willing to end up like that.

With that, comes the realization of just how important it is for HSPs to strive for "simplicity" in their lives. The fewer "plates" we have to try to keep spinning, the more likely we are to be able to manage that creeping sensation that we're about to become overwhelmed by the task(s) at hand. 

Simplify, simplify, simplify...

---

I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

HSP Ramblings: Not "Overstimulated," just Tired!

Sarah and I attended an event last night.

She was a live guest on the "Strange Brau" podcast; while I had a vendor table for my painted Alchemy Stones.

The event took place at a popular local hotel; there was a pretty good crowd gathered in the hotel dining room. It's an old building from the 1890's and the quarters were pretty cramped. We found an alcove to set up our vendor table that was out of the main traffic patterns.

Recipe for "HSP overstimulation?"

Well, not exactly. I enjoyed myself — as did she — and whereas we were happy to leave and get back to the piece and quiet of our house after about six hours of being "on," neither of us felt particularly overstimulated.

This morning, however, I feel like I have "the blahs."

In other words, both my brain and spirit feel "tired," like I just attended a four-day convention of some kind. Since we are both HSPs, we were both feeling this.

The Importance of Knowing What's What

As I sit here and type these words, I am reminded of the importance of we who are Highly Sensitive to be aware of "what's what," when it comes to managing the effects of our trait.

It's easy to fall into the trap of attributing everything in our lives to "overstimulation," simply because it's a popular buzzword that tends to be closely associated with our trait. But it's not always applicable, nor accurate.

In this case, Sarah and I are — quite simply — tired. So we're taking this day more of less off, as an act of self-care.

Part of what we gain from learning how we are affected by our High Sensitivity is an awareness of what we are experiencing, rather than simply "that" we are experiencing... which is why I always encourage my fellow HSPs to really learn all they can about the HSP trait.

It's not a "label," it's a life coping tool!

Thanks for reading!

---

I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. 

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

HSP Derailed! Overstimulation... or ADHD?

From time to time, I find myself examining just where being a Highly Sensitive Person "ends" and where "other issues" begin.

Personally, I believe that thoroughly "understanding ourselves" is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves, as HSPs.

Why?

It's an easy "out" to simply attribute everything we struggle with to the blanket statement "because I'm an HSP, that's why" and thereby shut ourselves off to genuine avenues towards living better and more fulfilling lives. Let's face it, not everything we experience is because of high sensitivity.

Issue at hand: I work from home, and yesterday I was working on a fairly large "catch-up project" I've been avoiding (a bunch of fairly dull paperwork sorting related to business taxes) when something unrelated "came up."

Even though I was only "distracted" for about 20 minutes, I found it almost impossible to get back to being productive, and the more I tried to pick up where I had left off, the more irritable and overstimulated I felt. Eventually, I just gave up and moved on to doing something completely different. Even so, I remained kind of annoyed with my own inability to resume where I'd broken off and the remainder of the day ended up pretty much being a loss. Ever experience something like that?

So what's really going on?

Whereas I am an HSP, I am also an adult with ADHD. I am easily distracted, and I have issues with concentration. And that's not "because I'm an HSP." Now, the "overstimulation" part? That's more likely where the sensitivity kicks in.

And the fact that was sitting here "processing deeply" and overanalyzing the whole thing? That's probably also related to my being an HSP...

OK, So that last bit was a joke. At least sort of. We HSPs do ruminate a lot...

It's not always easy to get these distinctions to fit neatly into one category or another, but I do find it useful to pause and examine what's really going on when distressing situations arise. I realized that part of my anger with myself stemmed from very old memories from school where my parents were often told that "Peter would do really well if he'd only apply himself more." I would get angry because nobody seemed willing to consider that I just couldn't "apply myself" any more. I tried... I really did.

So why do I care "what's what" and why do I feel that it matters... and why should it matter to you?

Life as an HSP can be challenging, and since we are living with an inborn trait all we can do is "manage" our lives to run as smoothly as possible. You can't "treat" being an HSP and there's no "cure" for it (It's not even a "diagnosis") but often we can apply certain techniques and "helping tools" to help smooth the bumps. But to do so correctly, it's important we understand the nature of the bumps we encounter and precisely what caused them.

As a simple metaphor, "allergies" and "a cold" both cause your nose to run and it would be an easy out to say they were "the same"... but from a healing perspective, it makes little sense to treat them like that because they are actually two quite different things.

So it is with being Highly Sensitive, and dealing with things that are not high sensitivity... but still cause us distress. We mustn't allow our trait to become a convenient "catch all" to explain away all our difficulties.... be informed! Know yourself!

What do YOU think? Do you usually have a clear understanding of what happens "because you're an HSP" and what happens for other reasons? Do share and leave a comment!

Sharing is Love! If you found this article helpful, interesting, thought provoking or useful, please consider sharing it with others! Use the buttons below to post to social media or send by email, and help be part of  the ongoing process of spreading general awareness of the HSP trait. Thank you!
▼          ▼          ▼          ▼          ▼          ▼ 

Overstimulated by Punctuation?

I have been a writer for far longer than I have been an HSP.

Scratch that. I have been a writer for far longer than I have known there was an official "name" for something that has influenced my life since birth.

Which is a fancy way of saying that I have been a writer since my teens (40+ years ago!) but have only been writing about the "HSP Experience" for the last fifteen of those.

In the course of writing hundreds (if not thousands?) of articles about life and self-development specifically through the eyes of a Highly Sensitive Person, I have also received a lot of feedback-- comments and emails and so forth-- which has been a very rewarding education, in and of itself.

One of the more interesting pieces of feedback I have received has been several readers telling me they feel overstimulated by my use of punctuation.

WTF, mate?

OK, confession time. My writing style has always been rather lively, and tends towards the informal and "conversational," rather than the more dry and academic textbook style. I was never much good at writing dry prose in the third person. And I use a lot of quotation marks, the ellipsis ("..."), hyphens, parentheses and semi-colons to break up my writing and (in my opinion) give it life and rhythm. Then I add a bunch of metaphors, parables and anecdotes for "extra flavor."

My writing teachers through the years have even remarked on it, and this tendency to overpunctuate often earned me feedback like "brilliant but unorthodox writing style," purely from a writing technique standpoint.

Personally, I have never enjoyed going to lectures, workshops or listening to the radio where the announcer or teacher just droned on monotonously about "just the facts" for an hour. I preferred those who made the material at hand come to life with personal experiences and anecdotes.

As an HSP, I found that it gave me some serious pause for thought to get the feedback that my writing was overstimulating. That's just part of "HSP nature," I suppose-- we tend to pick out little things and allow them to overshadow the whole.

Way back in a time long gone, a writing teacher commented on my excessive and flowery punctuation, so I decided to submit my next writing assignment completely without of my usual "written hand waving."

The teacher's comment on that paper?

"This essay is rather wooden and pedantic."

So what is the lesson here? I am always grateful for feedback, and the idea that punctuation could be overstimulating to an HSP had never occurred to me.

Does that mean I'll stop? No... it just means that I am going to be more mindful about my language. And therein lies the lesson for all HSPs: Feedback is just that, "feedback." As a group, we have a tendency to blow (perceived) criticism out of proportion and go to a place of "I should stop doing XYZ because it overstimulates/annoys people!" because a few people said so... yet three thousand people like things just the way they are.

Meanwhile, perhaps that old truism "You can't please everyone" is applicable here. It's a reality I have almost always struggled with... but I feel it bears saying that some people simply can't be pleased.

Thanks for visiting!

I used to enjoy the holidays... a reflection

As we roll on towards Thanksgiving, Christmas and other end-of-the-year holidays here in the USA, I am always reminded of how this is not a "happy" time for many HSPs.

"On paper," this is supposedly the season of lights, cheer and good will towards all... for HSPs, it can be something very different.

If you'd asked me twenty years ago about my general dislike and dread of holiday festivities, I would probably have looked at you cross-eyed if you'd tried to explain to me that it wasn't me being anti-social, but part of a personality trait.

Of course, I'm not trying to argue that being a Highly Sensitive Person makes you dislike the holidays, simply that there certain aspects of the season that can feel very overwhelming for HSPs.

For some it's an actual "values issue," related to feeling repulsed by the cornucopia of commercialism that has come to represent this time of the year. The Holidays sometimes feel like they have become a game, and "the person who spends the most money wins." For HSPs concerned with social justice and creating an egalitarian world, it's just outright offensive and a reminder that our species-- at least here in the West-- are on a very misguided track.

More likely, though, the issue is that this time of the year brings a higher stress level. Many HSPs like to keep fairly quiet lifestyles, and the holidays are a very "out" time of the year... with everything from office parties to family gatherings... some of which "force" people together for "forced cheer" in groups that would just as well have nothing to do with each other. HSPs are not good at pretending to be happy with something they are not. Add to that travel during an extremely busy time, shopping during an extremely busy time... and you have a recipe for something we'd rather avoid.

That said, I'm not going to dwell on the underlying reasons why HSPs struggle with the Holidays, nor offer solutions. However, if you're interested I'll suggest reading an article a wrote a few years ago entitled HSP Living: Tips for Dealing with the Noise and Stress of the Holiday Season which has more practical tips for HSPs.

What mostly made me sit down and write today was the realization that I used to enjoy the holidays, and I was trying to pinpoint why. And when.

Upon reflection I realized that the common thread of holiday seasons I have enjoyed was "simplicity." That is, those holiday seasons were marked by very little planning and preparation... or they happened so long ago (in childhood) that I was not yet aware that it took a lot of "work" to make the holidays wonderful. Even so, the Christmases I remember most were the ones where it was "just us" as opposed to something large and "fancy."

I also spent a couple of Christmases practically by myself, and in spite of the "social myth" that this is the time of the year for togetherness... I was actually very happy during those couple of years... even with some people giving off the vibe that they were "feeling sorry" for me.

And maybe therein lies a functional holiday lesson for those of us who are Highly Sensitive: Keep it simple! When you do, you're also more likely to return to the original "reasons" for the season-- love and light-- than the commercial ones.

It's not the actual season what makes us feel overstimulated, it's the "expectations" and wealth of things that seem to be "required" of us that's the issue. When we step away from those and allow the holidays to unfold in a way that feels meaningful to us, things get a lot better.

Here's wishing you a "simple" Holiday Season!