What do You Want to Write About Today?

One of the things I often struggle with is that I have far "too many" interests.

Maybe we should scratch that and instead say there are far too many things in life that are interesting. Just because something is interesting doesn't necessarily make them "an interest," just means something interesting enough that I want to find out more.

And that's how I often end up going off track and wasting time doing something other than what I'm supposed to be doing.

It is one of the sometimes challenging side effects of not only being an HSP, but being an HSP who is afflicted with that thing our modern society likes to call ADHD. Of course I'm not particularly afflicted with the "H" (Hyperactivity) part of ADHD, mostly I'm just chronically inattentive and daydreaming.

When it comes to the question of "what do I want to write about today," I don't pose it merely as a reflection of what I'm going to write on this blog but as a reflection of the fact that I have multiple blogs and websites that I could be writing something on.

But let's make it one level more complicated!

I can ask myself the question of what do I want to write about today, but there's also a greater question of whether I want to work on art today, or should I work on my stamp business today, or work on editing today, or might I end up working on something completely different today.

That's a different "side effect," namely the side effect of being independent and self-employed, rather than having a structured job that I need to go to at a specific time every day to do some specific kind of task.

I gave up having a structured job many years ago. On the balance I would say that I wouldn't trade in the life I now have for anything, but one of the benefits that having a regular job does offer is a kind of structure and that can be important if you are naturally inclined to be wildly unstructured in your approach to living.

And so, I come here asking myself the question what do I want to write about today? And what do I even want to do today?

Let me underscore for the record that this isn't necessarily an HSP issue, it's just a being alive issue in my world. Still, I am an HSP and this is a blog about life as an HSP so somehow there would be at least some peripheral relevance to my posting this.

Much as I hate to admit it, the only approach I have really found to effectively manage my tendency to be very scattered is to make lists and schedules.

Ironic that, given that I hate being constrained by rules and schedules! And yet? Here I am touting the benefits of precisely those things.

So what is this post really about?

Well, it's about the fact that we shouldn't wholesale reject any one thing just because we don't like what it suggests or represents... because ultimately it tends to turn out that there are parts of both things we like and things we don't like that become useful to us and parts of those same things that are not useful to us.

Yes, it sounds a bit convoluted, I know.

The challenge becomes a discern what's useful, and then to make the most of ways to maximize the benefit for our own purposes.

I don't claim to have any secrets to doing so! It's a constant work in progress… as is, I suppose, this entire experiment of living. 

And with that thought, I'm probably going to go somewhere else, and write something else!

---

I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

HSP Derailed! Overstimulation... or ADHD?

From time to time, I find myself examining just where being a Highly Sensitive Person "ends" and where "other issues" begin.

Personally, I believe that thoroughly "understanding ourselves" is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves, as HSPs.

Why?

It's an easy "out" to simply attribute everything we struggle with to the blanket statement "because I'm an HSP, that's why" and thereby shut ourselves off to genuine avenues towards living better and more fulfilling lives. Let's face it, not everything we experience is because of high sensitivity.

Issue at hand: I work from home, and yesterday I was working on a fairly large "catch-up project" I've been avoiding (a bunch of fairly dull paperwork sorting related to business taxes) when something unrelated "came up."

Even though I was only "distracted" for about 20 minutes, I found it almost impossible to get back to being productive, and the more I tried to pick up where I had left off, the more irritable and overstimulated I felt. Eventually, I just gave up and moved on to doing something completely different. Even so, I remained kind of annoyed with my own inability to resume where I'd broken off and the remainder of the day ended up pretty much being a loss. Ever experience something like that?

So what's really going on?

Whereas I am an HSP, I am also an adult with ADHD. I am easily distracted, and I have issues with concentration. And that's not "because I'm an HSP." Now, the "overstimulation" part? That's more likely where the sensitivity kicks in.

And the fact that was sitting here "processing deeply" and overanalyzing the whole thing? That's probably also related to my being an HSP...

OK, So that last bit was a joke. At least sort of. We HSPs do ruminate a lot...

It's not always easy to get these distinctions to fit neatly into one category or another, but I do find it useful to pause and examine what's really going on when distressing situations arise. I realized that part of my anger with myself stemmed from very old memories from school where my parents were often told that "Peter would do really well if he'd only apply himself more." I would get angry because nobody seemed willing to consider that I just couldn't "apply myself" any more. I tried... I really did.

So why do I care "what's what" and why do I feel that it matters... and why should it matter to you?

Life as an HSP can be challenging, and since we are living with an inborn trait all we can do is "manage" our lives to run as smoothly as possible. You can't "treat" being an HSP and there's no "cure" for it (It's not even a "diagnosis") but often we can apply certain techniques and "helping tools" to help smooth the bumps. But to do so correctly, it's important we understand the nature of the bumps we encounter and precisely what caused them.

As a simple metaphor, "allergies" and "a cold" both cause your nose to run and it would be an easy out to say they were "the same"... but from a healing perspective, it makes little sense to treat them like that because they are actually two quite different things.

So it is with being Highly Sensitive, and dealing with things that are not high sensitivity... but still cause us distress. We mustn't allow our trait to become a convenient "catch all" to explain away all our difficulties.... be informed! Know yourself!

What do YOU think? Do you usually have a clear understanding of what happens "because you're an HSP" and what happens for other reasons? Do share and leave a comment!

Sharing is Love! If you found this article helpful, interesting, thought provoking or useful, please consider sharing it with others! Use the buttons below to post to social media or send by email, and help be part of  the ongoing process of spreading general awareness of the HSP trait. Thank you!
▼          ▼          ▼          ▼          ▼          ▼ 

HSP Overstimulation... and the Benefits of Organization

As an HSP, one of the "issues" I often deal with is being mindful of-- which basically means "recognizing," before they happen-- the points of overwhelm in my life. These are like trigger points that arise as warning signs, before I get to a point of being in the middle of that thing we know as "HSP overstimulation."

That may sound simple enough, but there's a lot more to it than merely recognizing that if I get on a rollercoaster (metaphorical or real) I'm going to get overwhelmed and overstimulated. For the vast majority of us HSPs the "problem" seldom relates to the very obvious whack-over-the-head events of our lives, but to the subtle stress factors that quietly and pervasively poke at the edges of our consciousness, like Chinese water torture.

We all have different ways of approaching life, of course.

Some 17 years ago, I learned about this thing called "being a Highly Sensitive Person." Shortly thereafter, I started learning what I could do about that... not in the sense of trying to "fix" it, but to make life "work" for me, with only a minimum of disruption.

For me, being well organized has become one of my key tools in keeping the feeling that life is constantly overwhelming me down to a dull roar. I came to realize that dealing with the "layer of chaos" that tended to float around me-- as a result of not taking steps to be organized-- ate lots of physical, emotional and psychic bandwidth that I simply didn't have available to give. I realized that I often would get more stressed out "preparing to do" than "actually doing" a lot of things because they felt larger than they actually were because I'd not planned them out, in a functional manner. I was more overwhelmed by the idea than the reality of a situation.

Let me offer up a very simplistic metaphor.

We all have to "pay bills." That's just a given; that's just life.

In days gone by, that was a chaotic and stressful experience for me. It involved lots of "unknowns," all of which needlessly added to my stress level: First, I had to find all the bills, which I had put in an assortment of "safe places" around the apartment. Then I had to "hope" that I hadn't waited too long, so I would owe (needless) late fees. Then I had to hope that-- in fact-- I had been able to find all the bills. Before any of these points were reached, I also dealt with the daily worry of thinking "I really should pay bills, soon." Of course, then I had to hope that I actually had enough money to pay the bills... because I had no such thing as "a budget," and really no sense of how much I needed to be able to pay, each month; just a general sense that I made about "enough" to handle things, if nothing "had come up." Then I had to find last month's paid bills... because I couldn't always remember what had already been paid.

Now, actually paying bills is a pretty simple deal. In essence, it takes about an hour a month... and isn't particularly stressful, in and of itself.

What was causing me to get overstimulated and overwhelmed was what I came to think of as "The Cloud of Surrounding Chaos" associated with paying bills. Again, keep in mind that "paying bills" is merely a metaphor for so many things we have to deal with in daily life.

Getting back to "paying bills" effectively taking an hour a month... my real problem was that I was "creating" six hours of anxiety and overstimulation as a result of being poorly organized. As I look back over my life, poor organization caused my excessive stress in many areas-- my finances, how I ran my home business, my taxes, my writing, keeping track of my web sites...

Now, there are those who will read this and think to themselves "yeah, but it's just not in my nature to be organized!"

Well, yes and no. Part of my challenge has long been that I have ADHD, in addition to being an HSP... and that's not about "character" or "personality."

It IS also true that certain personality types (I happen to be an INFJ, per Myers-Briggs, so allegedly it's easier for me to organize) are not oriented towards being organized. That said, being organized (or not) is a choice not a personality trait. Saying things like "I can't" be organized is ultimately an excuse; a rationalization; a way of saying "I don't WANT to" or "I don't LIKE to" while wrapping this assertion in "packaging" that allows us to abdicate personal accountability for our choices, and instead shift it to "externals," like our personality type.

Trust me, you can (be organized), but it ultimately comes down to choosing whether or not the benefits gained (getting rid of the overwhelm and overstimulation of our personal "Clouds of Surrounding Chaos") outweigh "doing something you really don't like" (organizing) for a few hours or days to get rid of that cloud, for good.

Truth in disclosure: It has actually taken me years to get organized, and I am still working on it. This morning, I recognized that one of my "triggers" was being poked at... and I realized that I have no effective organizational system to help me keep up with the many groups, web sites and blogs I own and manage... and I was feeling overwhelmed at the mere thought of trying to figure what was "current" and what was not.

I will add here that it has also taken me years to get organized "my way." The point being that conventional time management systems did not work for me, so I created my own. And that's not an overnight process... and trying to make it happen faster than it can just adds a different way to overstimulate ourselves. However, my incidences of going into "full overwhelm" are far fewer than they used to be.

Finally, I am also not saying that you "must do this." What I am doing is inviting you to be mindful of, and awake to, your own life and what is going on in it. You may already be perfectly well organized-- for you. The invitation is to examine whether or not you are causing yourself stress and overwhelm as a result of the "structure" of your life, rather than the "content" of it.

As HSPs, we have only limited bandwidth to give to our lives before we get overstimulated. Thus, the saying "work SMARTER, not HARDER" is particularly applicable to us... and perhaps the single best way we can get just as much out of life as everyone else...

---

Talk Back! How organized are you? If you feel DIS-organized, can you look at this and recognize that it causes you overstimulation? Or do you just accept that you're not organized? Leave a comment!

Sharing is Love! If you found this article helpful, interesting, thought provoking or useful, please share it with others! Use the buttons below to post to social media or send by email, and help be part of  the ongoing process of spreading general awareness of the HSP trait. Thank you!
▼          ▼          ▼          ▼          ▼          ▼ 

Article: Of Giftedness, ADD, Depression, and being an HSP

Follow-up to what I wrote yesterday: Originally written April 26, 2002, as a post to an online message board (edited slightly for typos and to add a couple of factual corrections).

In my recent "hiatus" from this forum, I have been spending some time researching connections between some things that might be of interest and relevance to many HSPs.

Looking through old threads here, I have noticed that we fairly frequently "cry out in pain" over one thing or another-- anguished screams in the night over the difficulty of it all. Most of the cries relate to feeling misunderstood, for a great number of reasons. BTW's recent posts come to mind, but there have been others. From time to time, we have discussions about depression, ADD, counseling and meds.

Like many HSPs, I have spent much of my life in a "caretaker" situation, helping others. I suppose one of the biproducts of this is that you learn a thing or two along the way.... and often a thing or two your basic psychologist/therapist doesn't pick up on.

As awareness of the HSP concept continues to spread (we've gone from fewer than 150 to more than 1100 members here, since I've been posting) I feel a growing concern that many HSPs who are being treated for (or have self-diagnosed with) "depression" or "ADD" or "Bipolar disorder" may be struggling with a mis-diagnosis on top of their already complex issues. Maybe you'll read this and say "Yeah, well, DUH!"-- but maybe not.

Bear with me for a moment, because some background is relevant here.

We have periodically touched-- albeit very briefly-- on the topics of IQ and "giftedness." However, we have all (HSPs and non-HSPs alike) been well trained that "giftedness" is not an "acceptable" topic for anyone to concern themselves with, except in passing. We tend to wring our hands and back away a bit like our dog did something nasty on the carpet.... after all, we're not "supposed to" think we're "anything" the rest of the world isn't....

Now, we can come from the opposite end of the spectrum and be "developmentally challenged," and a host of people immediately jump to our aid. Not so with giftedness. After all, it's a "positive," not a "negative."

For the purposes of this post, please understand that I am NOT talking specifically about "IQ" here, I am talking about "abilities" that somehow make a person "different" because of their insights, intuitions and talents in one or more areas.

On a very broad level, there is a pretty good support network in place for "gifted children." Likewise, there is a broad support network in place for "special needs children." But guess what? When you turn 16, 18 or 21, whatever.... the support system for the "gifted" end of the spectrum completely falls away. If you are 40 (or older) odds are there never was one, for you. At best, you were perhaps recognized as someone who could tutor those struggling in the class. Mostly, you're on your own. In fact, society penalizes you a bit with "less-than-supportive" comments such as "If you're so smart, why do you need help?"

OK, so what does this have to do with being an HSP?

The few PhDs out there actively doing research on "Adult Giftedness" (Silverman, Webb, et.al.) have found that there is an extremely strong correlation between extreme sensitivity (in childhood, and as an adult) and giftedness. Understand that while this does mean that the majority of "gifted" people are probably HSPs, it does not mean that HSPs are by definition "gifted." But there are certainly proportionately more gifted HSPs than gifted people in the general population. And much like with being HSP, 60-70% of "highly gifted" adults are introverts, vs. 25-30% of the general population.

Next step....

"Gifted" adults (many of whom are HSPs, remember) have "problems" just like the rest of the world. Except they are not like the rest of the world, just like HSPs are not like the rest of the world. As a (partial, anyway) result of this, there is an alarming degree of misdiagnosis of Depression, ADD and Bipolar Disorder in gifted adults.

How so?

Someone presents for treatment with "scattered" thoughts and a hyperactive mind that's constantly thinking "crazy thoughts" all over the place, as well as hypersensitivity and hyperexitablility. So they get chemical treatment for ADD. Except..... this hyperactive mind is actually a natural consequence of giftedness and sensitivity, not a "fault" in need of "repair." Yet, with a little pharmaceutical help, a brilliant mind that actually just needed guidance is instead "put to sleep" with drugs and its gifts lost to society.

But getting back to depression. The danger with depression in the gifted (and HSP) adult is that to 99% of the psychological profession "depression is depression is depression." Thus someone who presents with "depression" is (drugged and) treated for "depression."

Sorry! Wrong! But thank you for playing.....

Many of us recognize psychological clinical depression, either from having it, or from knowing someone who has it-- or just from reading. There are a bajillion web sites that will let you self-test, or read definitions from the "Holy Book Of The DSM-IV." In general something happens in our lives that jolts us, disappoints us, and we feel like we've failed somehow, and we become depressed. Things feel bleak and hopeless, but eventually a counselor helps us find the cause, which is then localized, defined and treated, and we go about our lives, armed with new "tools," "magic pills" and a new direction.

But there are many people for whom this standard "treatment of depression" really doesn't do anything. They seek treatment, but end up feeling no improvement, leading to feeling even more as if nobody understands them, and then might even devleop a belief that the psychology profession "can't help them" because they "don't GET it." More often than not, these people are HSPs who are also highly gifted.

The "good" news is that the reason you don't feel any different as a result of the treatment you're getting... is that you're being treated for something you don't actually have.

Existential Depression is often little more than a footnote in most writings and research on depression. It's not exactly a "household concept" since it generally doesn't affect many people, except in a very fleeting and vague manner. However, it is extremely prevalent among highly gifted sensitive adults. It's pervasive, non-specific, numbing and immobolizing-- in some cases causing the sufferer to reach a very logical conclusion that it makes most sense to just kill themselves. It does not respond to drugs or "conventional" therapies for depression; it cannot be "cured," only "managed" and the appropriate "management skills" generally have to be learned through Existential Psychotherapy-- which was "Chapter 4 in college" for most therapists, but a specialty for painfully few.

I just bring this up as "food for thought" for those who struggle with Depression and/or ADD/ADHD and feel "out of step." I bring this up, because maybe all that is "wrong" with you is that you have a special brain that's actually functioning normally-- for you. I bring it up because the type of depression felt by many on this board may not be as straightforward as they think. This will by no means apply to everyone, but if it "clicks" with even one or two, this post will have been worthwhile.

HSPs and the ADD/ADHD "Diagnosis"

From a purely psychological perspective it strikes me that most intelligent, intuitive, bright, creative, interesting people could be seen as having a form of ADD that is not particularly diagnosable. The question is, do we really need a "diagnosis?" Is anything really "wrong," here?

The HSP trait aside.... In studying intelligence, personality types, Indigos and assorted psychology (not as a profession, mind you), for a long time.... much of my time has been spent on trying to understand the "gifted" mind.

I certainly won't deny that "ADD" is a valid concept, but I have a great deal of trouble with the general tendency of the Psychology field to automatically classify a brain the doesn't work like "Joe Sixpack's" (i.e. "average") as having a "disorder." One of the great "issues" in the Gifted and Indigo communities is "misdiagnosis"-- people with brains that seem to flit around and track 1000 tasks simultaneously and arrive at intuitive alternate solutions with no evidence of a "process" in between.... are "medicated to sleep" simply because they have difficulty "tracking" conventional thought processes (most gifted people will tell you that they "zone out" because they are already 20 steps ahead of "where we are"). Is that fair? Or reasonable?

Every time I read the words "intelligent, intuitive, bright, creative, interesting people" in the same sentence as "ADD" I tend to jump out of my chair. Maybe it's a bit of a "soapbox issue" for me (and I apologize if I come across too forcefully)-- but I always recommend (especially to parents who have kids who "seem really bright," as well as to adults) to people who have a notion that ADD might be the problem, to test for giftedness before testing for ADD.... just so you have a "context" for a possible ADD diagnosis.

A while back, I wrote about this in greater detail, at a different venue. I think I'll try to dig up that article, and post it here.