I am getting back into writing-- here, and in other places.
"Starting" is a process, and it seems different for different people. Elaine Aron writes that HSPs tend to be uncommonly conscientious. I know this holds true for me, and I'll also be the first to admit that I have often had a tendency towards perfectionism.
This morning, I was contemplating this process of getting the HSP Notes blog going again. And I soon realized that I was starting down an old path of "spinning my wheels," which (to go by past history) could eventually lead to feeling overwhelmed... and then getting nothing done.
Perhaps you're familiar with this scenario (or something similar) when it comes to "starting" something:
I log into my account.
I'm immediately aware that I have neglected my blog for a year.
I feel some guilt over this-- this blog has a large readership, and IS (after all) the longest running HSP blog on the www.
I tell myself I must write "something important" to get started again.
I start thinking about the entries from my personal journal, from this past year, I want to write up and transfer here.
I start thinking about all the "peripheral" things I need to update, as I re-start here.
I think about new features I want to add.
No more than TEN MINUTES passed, since I "arrived" here to write an update... and I was at the edge of "feeling stuck," because the simple original intent of "writing a new entry" had turned into "a huge project." And the edges of overwhelm were creeping up on me.
In times past, I would have launched myself into hours of work to make sure "I did it properly."
Today... I stepped back, and reminded myself that sometimes we simply have to "start from HERE," even if what we're doing is part of some greater picture. If you're moving, step back from the HUGE project called "I'm moving," and just "pack ONE box." If you're getting back into exercising after a 5-year break, step back from the knowledge that you once ran marathons, and focus on "working out 10 minutes today."
Sometimes "the past" (and our history) is not only "not helpful" to our current situation... it can actually become "clutter" that impedes our progress.
Sometimes we simply have to Start From Here, and trust that the rest will get taken care of, as needed.
Talk Back: How often do you find yourself "stuck" because you allow something small and simple to grow into a huge project? Are you able to avoid the temptation to "clean your desk" before you can start a simple task? Leave a comment!
A Blog written by a Highly Sensitive Person. Thoughts and ramblings on life as a Highly Sensitive Person in an often not so sensitive world.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Choices: Starting from HERE
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Peter! Yay! I'm so glad you're back!ReplyDelete
Your blog is such a helping, relieving, insightful resource for HSPs. And because of its very special honor of being the oldest HSP-dedicated blog, you've guided and encouraged more of us than you will probably ever know. THANK YOU for sharing so bravely long before "HSP" had a #hashtag, let alone a growing community and momentum. You are a front-line early-riser, and I salute you.
Now, about the brilliance of "starting from HERE"... when I wasn't gasping from recognizing this form of stuckness so well, I was cracking up. Yes. Why is it that "washing dishes" has to morph into an entire sterilization of all of my living quarters and possessions? Why does "running to the store" grow into a cost-effective bulk-shopping escapade like a squirrel before winter? And why, oh why, does sitting down to write a blog post (http://www.lifeblazing.com) swell into the enormous burden of trying to say every worthy thought that ever was thought in the history of minds?
Ahhh... the HERE... the NOW... the WHAT IS... and, most importantly, my okayness with that...
As always, seeing a pattern or tendency of yours reflected in the experience of another is such a sweet, humanizing comfort.
And your wise reminder to simply start right here has freed up all kinds of things in me today, Peter.
Looking forward to more :-)