The Challenge of Considering, Making and COMMITTING to Changes!

For the past few weeks, I have been thinking a lot about the direction of this blog. Specifically, I've been thinking about the idea of how to combine all the different things I do into one central location, after years of deliberately keeping separate things separate.

The entire process feels a little bit very overwhelming!

As an HSP, one of the things I have learned about myself is that I tend to spend a lot more time thinking about and ruminating than actually doing things and putting them into action.

Perhaps you recognize that, in yourself.

And so I find myself asking the inevitable question “Why is this so difficult to just DO rather than think about forever?”

Is this just a struggle with excessive "conscientiousness," as many HSPs experience?

Am I a slave to perfectionism?

My reality — as I am experiencing it — is more one of feeling like I am taking a completely new direction. And not only that, I feel hesitation and a bit of anxiety about taking this new direction and committing fully to it.

We HSPs often struggle with change, even when it is initiated by ourselves. Even one of the items on Elaine Aron's "Sensitivity Self Test" is "Changes in my life shake me up."

To be honest, I also am experiencing an element of self-doubt. Am I doing the right thing? What will people think of me for doing this? Am I just worrying too much?

I looked at those words and then I stopped and just laughed at myself. Here I am, at 59 years of age, and I'm still having these self-doubts!

Anyway, the long and the short of what I am setting out to do differently can pretty much be summarized thusly:

The 18-year history of this blog has centered in it being a blog about “HSP stuff.”

The primary change is going to be that from this point forward it will still be a blog about “HSP stuff,” but it will increasingly also be about a person simply living and navigating their life and that person just “happens to be an HSP.”

And yes, some of the time I will be engaged in that dreaded thing called “self-promotion;” touching on the many projects I am involved with and inviting visitors to go check it out. But not just for commercial reasons, also to offer an insight into what "HSP Life" can look like.

As I wrote in a post a couple of years ago, perhaps the ultimate objective of learning as much as possible about being an HSP, is that we eventually arrive at a point where our lives are no longer defined by "being an HSP;" instead we incorporate the knowledge we've gained and simply return to being "a person" for whom being an HSP is simply one attribute of many in their lives.

Let's face it, I am an HSP! No denying that!

But I am also a Danish citizen, very tall, a cat lover, an artist, a husband, a writer, an editor, a stamp collector, a beachcomber, a polymath, a photographer and a whole bunch of other things!

My point?

I think we can go overboard and get so wrapped up in a place where we define every single thing we do and experience in life “in terms of being an HSP.” That is, we view ourselves as HSPs first, and as human beings, second. Frankly, I think it should be the other way around — we're human beings first, and HSPs second.

And so, it is with that in mind, that I set forth to gently keep making changes to the HSP Notes blog and website.

And it my sincere hope that you will continue to share in this journey with me!

Thank you for reading.

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I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

HSP Life: When Practicality must Override Idealism

We HSPs tend to be a rather idealistic bunch.

Sometimes, the pursuit of our idealistic flights of fancy seems to be the only thing that keeps us alive and going in a world that often seems harsh and not very idealistic. As such, it can be easy to neglect-- or even forget about-- the practical matters of daily life.

For example, for the past couple of weeks, I have really been wanting to spend more time writing and getting into several other projects I have had in the works... but the practical world has dictated that I put most of my effort into doing my taxes (Here in the US, our annual personal taxes must be filed by April 15th), and not doing those other things.

Sometimes we have to focus on things we don't want to do, merely to stay functional in the world.

Maybe that sounds "Duh! Obvious!" to most people, but I know from experience that I-- and many of my HSP peers-- easily fall into playing "the avoidance game" when it comes to dealing with things in "real life" that we don't really like. And-- quite often-- to our detriment.

The tendency to "avoid dealing with reality" can become a serious issue when we look at the longer term, especially in the context of trying to realize dreams we may have. For example, we may have a deep desire to create some kind of charitable or beneficial project but avoid ever "getting into it" because we don't want to deal with the up-front hassles of applying for licenses and permits and dealing with an assortment of boring things that are pretty much required, before we can get to do something we really want.

Some years back, I had the pleasure of spending some time with Dr. Barrie Jaeger, author of "Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person," and one of the things I learned from our conversations was that even the most joyful and perfect "Calling" in life will have its moments of dull boring drudgery... so if we sit around and always wait for the "ideal" situation in which everything is "perfect," we may well end up missing out completely on the things we really want to do.

Sometimes, dealing with "Practicalities" can be hard. Unlike my taxes-- which required about two weeks of my attention-- we may find ourselves in a situation where all our attention and energy, every single day, has to go into the simple act of doing what it takes to "keep the lights turned on." I have definitely been there, burned out and wondering if the dreams I wanted to pursue would ever become possible.

Patience becomes essential. Sometimes we have to be prepared to spend significant amounts of time "in the grind," in order to get to where we want to go. 

But don't give up! 

Figure out what small things you can do to take you towards where you want to go and then focus on those which still keeping up with the practical demands of life.

This may all have sounded rather bleak, but I assure you I did not intend it to. The point was merely to underline that ignoring the practical while in pursuit of our idealistic dreams can actually set us back, rather than take us forward.

In the end, it's all about balance!

HSPs, the "Consciousness" business and Living a Meaningful Life

Recently, I have been spending a lot of time considering the whole "Consciousness" issue.

No, I don't mean "consciousness" as in what happens in the morning when you wake up after a night of heavy drinking... I mean consciousness in the context typically defined by the self-development and "New Age" industries. Some might call it "awareness;" others might call it "mindfulness" or "Being Present."

I expect this is not a "foreign country" for most HSPs, as our natural tendency towards introspection and self-improvement leads many of us down a path of discovery, driven by a desire to find-- and explore the nature of-- our "True Selves," "The Meaning of Life" and our "Life Purpose."

In the course of  living within the HSP Community for almost two decades, it would be tempting to latch on to the idea that being a Highly Sensitive Person somehow makes someone "more conscious" than the rest of the world... but my experience tells me otherwise. At best, I would feel more inclined to think of HSPs as "differently conscious" from the rest of the world.

I can already hear a few voices rise in protest, saying "How can you SAY such a thing?!?! Being Highly Sensitive automatically makes people more tuned into others, and more empathic, and so more conscious!"

Therein lies the rub, however...

By nature, our ability to "Live Consciously" tends to flow towards those areas of life that matter most to us... and not so much towards those that don't.

"True" consciousness also requires us to navigate-- with equal consciousness-- those areas that are not important to us. And that's where we (HSPs) don't do as well, because we tend to stay within our comfort zones and avoid those things that make us feel uncomfortable and overstimulated.

Let me offer a metaphor, to illustrate:

We may feel like we're doing the right thing by choosing to drive a Toyota Prius because it's environmentally friendly and gets 50 miles to the gallon (highly conscious choice), but are we being truly conscious if we're unaware that that anxieties that cause us to never go faster than 35 mph is actually endangering other travelers when we do so in a 55 mph zone and everyone around us is "doing crazy shit" to try to pass us because we're holding up traffic?

My point here is that "Consciousness" is more than just an esoteric abstract; it is a set of life choices, and many of them highly functional, as they exist in our daily choices. Like that other popular term "enlightenment," consciousness is not a thing; not something we can "have," but rather an ongoing practice; a perpetual sequence of choices that support the highest and best outcome for all-- ourselves included.

For HSPs, if there is one Achilles heel we have, it's our tendency to eternally "stay in our heads" as a means to-- in essence-- avoid interfacing with "real life" around us. And don't get me wrong... I am guilty of doing the same thing. However, it doesn't really help, in terms of becoming well-rounded, fully integrated people who can be of service to the world.

Think about this, for a second:

You are highly sensitive and have learned that the energy of crowds overwhelm you, and that's why you've never done well at festivals and concerts, even though some part of you really like them. Now, you can take that information and either translate it into "avoid crowds" and thereby withdraw from a part of life... OR you can observe yourself in a crowd, determine your "trigger points" and decide that the knowledge "crowds overstimulate me" means you can go and enjoy an event, be self aware, and then make a conscious choice to stay for TWO HOURS instead of "all day."

From my vantage point, the latter is definitely a more conscious choice.

Then I think about the many times I have attended HSP Workshops and Gatherings, and have found a great sense of community and connection, as well as a sense of "direction" in my life... only to end up at the inevitable question (posed by myself, and other attendees): "How do we take this home and continue to experience it outside the protected setting of a retreat?"

Good question!

Often, we know what "The Good Life" (or our version thereof) looks like-- in theory-- but the application is difficult. Or seems complicated. Or an invitation to becoming overwhelmed.

As regular visitors to these pages know, it's fairly rare that I recommend or "endorse" products or books... I think I have done so maybe five times in the 13 years I have been writing here.

Today, I am going to make one of those rare exceptions, because I am working with something I truly feel is of value.

Recently, I have been reading one of the best (and most "functional") books about Consciousness I have ever encountered:

Coffee for Consciousness: The Application of Perspective to Reality by Vito Mucci (opens to description on Amazon, in a new tab)

What I love about this is that it's not yet another fluffy feel-good self-help book overflowing with flowery motivational quotes that sound good without actually helping us-- instead it looks in depth at living consciously at the level  "where the rubber meets the road." In some ways, it reads far more like a "manual for life" or text book than your typical self-help book... and its 550-ish pages filled with no nonsense information underscores that.

In his book, Mucci focuses on the heart of consciousness, mindfulness and self-awareness... and instead of the eternal "rainbow soup" of cute sayings and quotes that sound good but leave us wondering what to actually do next-- this marvelous book is all about what these things actually mean, and how we apply them to our lives.

Of course, that also makes Coffee for Consciousness a challenging read, in its own right... because it asks us to-- or demands-- that we look beyond the pretty window dressing of the so-called self-awareness movement and graduate to making actual changes in our lives, rather than just talking about changes in our lives. So if you prefer "light and fluffy" over getting to the root of issues, this book is not for you.

Although this is in no way "a book for HSPs," I'm impressed enough to feel compelled to recommend it here on these pages-- something I rarely do. Yes, I know it's not cheap... but this is one of the rare occasions where I will counter with "Yes, but it's well worth it!" Whether Vito Mucci is an HSP I do not know, but the insights he shares definitely are meaningful for HSPs.

Now why do I care enough to write this? Well, because there is more to being an HSP than just eternally focusing on "being an HSP." We need to also become the best Humans we can be... and this is one of the few resources I have found that has the potential to truly help, in that respect. And the underlying ideas of the book seem to me to be very in step with the worldview and core values of many HSPs I have known. My wife Sarah-- who's also a Highly Sensitive Person-- has read it and now refers back to concepts learned with surprising regularity... and she's a 30-year "veteran" of the self-development trade.

If you're not quite sure what I am talking about, or you want to get more in-depth with the idea, I would like to recommend that you listen to Sarah's recent radio show where she interviews author Vito Mucci on Radio Nahmaste. As I mentioned, she's a fellow HSP and shares my high regard for this book as an amazing and helpful tool for life and for living consciously. And yes, HSPs do make good talk radio hosts!

Just click on the ► below to listen!