Too Many Worthy Causes-- Not Enough Money!

The holidays are coming up.

What that means-- at least some of what that means-- is that there will soon be an increasing stream of "worthy causes" coming our way.

So many of them really are "worthy." I often wish I could give to all of them... it almost makes me feel guilty that I have to "choose," and the very process of having to make a choice in this context can make me feel quite overwhelmed.

Part of me also feels "judgmental." After all, who am I to say that an organization that rescues kittens is more "worthy" than an organization that sends food to people in Sudan?

And yet, I have a hard enough time being able to afford my own groceries, so I can't just give away everything to every appeal that comes my way.

Of course, that's just part of the issue.

Because people out there perceive that I "know people," I am often approached and asked if I will help promote (or endorse) a worthy cause.

Again, the choices can be difficult. What do we put our energy behind? I tend to be extremely discerning about what I "put my name on." It's not that I don't like what I am presented with, it's more a case of not wanting to overwhelm people with every worthy cause under the sun.

I suppose that's part of consideration for others... empathy, perhaps? I know I get overwhelmed by the many choices, so I don't feel like it would be right to overwhelm other people with a ton of choices.

I am also hesitant to come across too much as "begging for money," no matter how worthy a cause may be. Perhaps that makes me a lousy marketer-- so be it. But it makes me uncomfortable. I'm already part of a couple of non-profit organizations that are "in the family" and it's hard enough to ask for donations on their behalf!

So what's the purpose of this whole post?

Well, I do have a "hidden motive" for bringing up money and giving.

I get quite a bit of email from the global HSP "community," asking if I'll write about various subjects as they relate to living as an HSP. One that often comes up-- and which I have studiously avoided taking on-- is money, finances and HSP's relationships with these.

Of course-- traditionally speaking-- "money" is one of "those subjects" we are taught to avoid, as part of good manners (along with religion, sex, politics and child rearing). And yet, it seems like an important topic for HSPs... perhaps because a lot of conventional financial wisdom doesn't apply to the Highly Sensitive Person. How so?

Well, after almost 17 years of studying this trait of ours, it's quite clear that HSPs don't measure "success" as other people do. For one, we are more concerned with being Human BE-ings than Human HAVE-ings or Human DO-ings... and yet, we still have to function within a world where the grocery expects money when we check out. We also face the issue (which Elaine Aron also alludes to in her books) of "underemployment," meaning that we are often in professions where we don't make a lot of money... so saving is difficult.

For the moment, though, I am going to just keep the ideas percolating while I try to figure out where to allocate my limited charitable giving budget.

If you DO have specific questions about HSPs and finances, do write in... or leave a comment... and I'll certainly enter your feedback into the mix.

HSPs and the Season of Giving: Reprise

This month, many of my thoughts have been dedicated to the concepts of giving and making a difference. You've seen several posts here, related to giving and charity.

I've forsaken my annual "advice column" on dealing with the stress of the holidays in favor of looking at core values, and what this time of the year really means... or could mean.

Part of my focus here, has been a bit of an examination of apathy. A deeper look at our tendency to readily "be concerned" (and even "horrified") by events and needs around us, and yet we sit passively as spectators and observers... heartily agreeing that something that's going on in the moment is "horrible," yet we do not even the simplest thing to make a difference.

I have written-- in the past-- about our tendency to get trapped by "all-or-nothing" thinking, when it comes to making a difference in the world. We don't take the time to make "little differences" because we perceive them as being insignificant, and not making a difference. Yet, when we look at the history of social change and general life improvement for all, it is extremely evident that far more "massive changes" are the result of "millions, each doing a little" than "a few, each doing a lot."

There are some interesting dichotomies associated with this HSP trait of ours. The one I find most noteworthy, is the strange and conflicted intersection of a deep sense of idealism and wanting to better the world and right wrongs... crossed with a hesitancy of being "in the world" that leaves many choosing the sidelines, from where they observe, rather than participate.

Well, it is Christmas Eve. I wish a Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, and Happy Holidays, to all others.

As for the charity that was part of recent entries here... in spite of much publicity, and concerted effort by those who did get involved, we did not come up with enough votes to reach the final stage of the grant process. But... we gave it a good try!

---

Talk Back! When you are honest with yourself, do you find that you often chose to "observe" rather than "participate?" Is your idealism more of an "idea" than a "reality?" What do you feel would have to change, in order for you to be more actively involved?

HSPs, the Season of Giving, Doing Good and Apathy

One of the things I like most about HSPs is that we tend to have a more giving and compassionate nature than most people out there. One of the things I don't like about HSPs is our tendency to be tentative and even apathetic, when it comes to making a difference.

I've been told-- by more than a few readers of this blog-- that part of the reason they read is that I don't tend to sugar coat life as a sensitive person, and I don't feel compelled to characterize HSPs as pink fluffy bunnies dancing through the meadows. Not that pink fluffy bunnies don't have a place in the world, mind you. Sometimes, I even rattle a few people's cages... so let me rattle yours, for a moment.

We're entering the holiday season, and I have been pausing to ponder the true meaning of this time of the year, apart from the general explosion of overconsumption that otherwise dominates the landscape and airwaves.

This is the season of giving.

Not "giving" in the sense of fancy baubles purchased from the store, but giving of ourselves; giving from the heart. Doing things to make the world a better place.

What have you GIVEN, lately?

Sometimes I am stunned by the apathy of the world. Someone near and dear to me (who happens to be an HSP) is trying to rally support for a cause she really believes in. She was sharing with me how she'd contacted all manners of people she knew and had gotten what-- at least in my opinion-- is a very apathetic response.

Now I can appreciate the fact that we all get bombarded with requests for donations to charity during the holidays-- and times a tight. However, that completely misses the point of my friend's story.

You see, she wasn't asking for money. She wasn't asking for people to do work. She wasn't asking for hours of time. She wasn't contacting strangers, she was contacting people she already knew. All she did was ask people to use a few moments of their online time to visit a web site and VOTE for her cause in a contest, so that they might have a chance at winning $25,000 someone ELSE is already committed to donate.

100's of emails, yet hardly anyone could find two minutes of their time to make a few clicks to cast a vote online. My cynical side says "and these are the same people who have 30 minutes handy to play solitaire on their computer, or spend hours cultivating the cornucopia of apps on Facebook, or tweeting the content of their last sandwich to the twitterverse."

The story was interesting enough to me that I decided to pick it up for this blog, and for my other web presences... and to write a sort of "challenge" to people. How apathetic ARE we, really? We like to SAY that we "care," but do our actions match those words?

Someone you know asks you (during the "season of giving," remember?) for two minutes of your time, no cost involved, so that a greater good can be served. Do you just sit on your hands? Or do you say "yes, I CAN do that for you" and help out?

Perhaps I should add that the cause in question wasn't "weird" or "controversial." It's a community theatre in Carmel, CA, which helps 1000s of kids every year. As much as HSPs tend to enjoy the arts, it's a natural "fit" as something HSPs would be supportive of... hence my additional surprise at the very "modest" response my friend received.

So, what's wrong with this picture?

Maybe people were put off by the fact that the host site where the voting takes place works through the Facebook social network.

"I don't want to be part of that. I don't trust them. I don't want a Facebook account. It's just for kids. They'll steal my identity."

I've heard those excuses for years, especially from the HSP community. Fact is that Facebook wouldn't have gotten to have 350 MILLION members by being untrustworthy and being "just for kids." Ever see a facebook ad on TV? Or in a magazine? Or in a newspaper? Neither have I.. because it's completely "viral," as a result of friends telling friends... and when you recommend something to friend, it's usually because it's GOOD, right?

"An HSP would never be part of a social network!"

Malarkey!

Many of the HSPs I have met personally, or know through web groups are on Facebook. Guess what? I actually got ON Facebook to stay in touch with HSPs I'd met at HSP Gatherings! Guess what else? There are two HSP groups on Facebook, and both are among the five largest online HSP Communities in the world.

Anyway, what's the point of this article?

I was asked if I would do something simple-- go to a web site, register, and vote for someone's charity to receive someone ELSE's money. And so I did... a few minutes of my time, a worthy cause; no cost to me.

Then I heard the feedback from my friend, and became ashamed at how apathetic the world is. So, I decided to make this MY cause, as well-- as a bit of a "social experiment." I took the next step: help spread the word.

Now I'm asking YOU.

Would you give a few minutes of your web time to help a good cause, at no cost to you?

If the answer is yes, click the small blue banner below. And follow the instructions. If you get lost, I've made it so the link opens a new tab in your browser. You can just come back here and click on the banner again, to get back to where you were.




And yes, I'll come back and update. And I'd appreciate it if YOU came back and commented on what YOU did, too.