HSP Resources: Boston & New England Area Groups

From time to time, I like to take a few moments to encourage HSPs to "connect locally."

Why should HSPs connect with their peers? Most HSPs find it very healing to spend time with others, even if they are somewhat reclusive and solitary in nature... after all, nobody "gets" what it's like to be a highly sensitive person more than a fellow HSP.

How and where do you connect? There are online groups and local regional meetup groups and support groups. Today's focus is on the Boston area and the surrounding New England states, in general.

This post is by no means exhaustive, but at least it offers a starting point for HSPs in the region.

The HSP Boston & New England group is an online discussion group on YahooGroups. It has been around since 2003 and has about 80 members. It's a "moderated" group, meaning that memberships are approved by a real live person in order to maintain an "HSP friendly" environment.

Highly Sensitive Persons-- Boston/Cambridge is part of the meetup organization. Active since December 2010, this is a group with an online web page, but the group schedules regular "flesh space" get togethers.

A "good bet" for HSPs in the Boston area is the "Nerd Fun" meetup group, although it is not specifically an HSP group. Originally started by an HSP, this activity group has grown to almost 5000 members and organizes many smaller individual events, quite a few of which would appeal to HSPs-- museum trips, exhibits, outings and so forth.

Naturally, more groups may exist around the New England states. Good places to check for announcements might be the bulletin board at your local food coop, or bulletin boards at holistic healing centers. In some cases, you might be able to find lectures about the HSP trait offered through your local learning annex, and these may also be a good way to make contact. Keep in mind, however, that these free lectures are sometimes used by counselors and therapists as a tool to drum up new business.

If you are interested in some more "serious" HSP learning, Dr. Elaine Aron occasionally teaches 3-day workshops at the Kripalu Center in the Berkshires. Check the center's workshop schedule for information-- and keep in mind that Elaine Aron's workshops are only offered maybe once every year or two.

Seattle and Puget Sound Area HSP Meetup Group

The following is a "local" announcement. Local, that is, if you live in Western Washington, specifically if you happen to be an HSP in the greater Seattle and Puget Sound area.

I moved to Port Townsend (which is not so far from Seattle) a few years ago. When I left Texas, I also decided that when I arrived in my new home, I was going to get actively involved in an effort to "build community" in my area, for HSPs. For this reason and that, it got to be almost four years later, and I hadn't done anything about it. Sure, some of us had "talked about it" a bit, but it never got beyond talk.

So anyway, there is now a Seattle and Puget Sound area HSP Meetup Group. There has actually been a rather large "waiting list" for a Seattle area HSP meetup... I think (in part) because it just seems too daunting for most HSPs to "step up and be in charge" something-- especially group related.

If you're just stopping by and reading this, and you live in the greater Seattle/Puget Sound area... (it could be as far as Bellingham, Chehalis or Port Angeles, if you don't mind driving) ... and would like to be part of face-to-face meetings with other HSPs in the region, head on over to meetup and become a group member. If you live on the Olympic or Kitsap Peninsulas, or on Whidbey Island, also consider joining the smaller "sister" group, more specifically for people WEST of the Puget Sound.

If you haven't been to meetup recently, and/or you were once part of the "old" Seattle and Eastside meetups, the meetup site is QUITE different now. The group has its OWN "mini web site," with our own message boards, photo albums and more. It's a LOT easier to navigate and use than it was, 5-6 years ago. If you're a meetup member (in general) but haven't logged on in a while, you might need to take a moment to update your profile.

Hope to see you there!

Connecting HSPs

I've been reflecting some more on the previous post, and on the whole idea of "connecting HSPs."

I've been part of the global HSP "community" for over a decade, and there are certain patterns I have noticed, during that time.

A lot of HSPs claim they are "not into socializing," but at the same time tell me they wish they knew just a few HSPs in their lives-- someone to talk to who "gets it." At the same time, I have also personally witnessed the benefits of HSPs spending time together.

So, the "want" is there, and the "desired effect" has also been shown. The "challenge" seems to be how to get from "wanting" to actually being with others.

The HSP Gatherings are great, in this respect, but they only reach a few people. The various HSP groups on the Internet are nice, too-- but they also just reach a relatively small number of people. In 2003, I started a number of local and regional HSP groups on Yahoo, hoping to help people find local connections. Although most of these groups are still going, they never gained a big following. The people who DO find them are delighted, but "finding" them seems to be the problem.

And therein lies an interesting paradox I've been considering. HSPs-- as a group-- feel extremely reluctant to "promote" and "market themselves." At the same time, HSPs-- as a group-- often will not participate in something unless it is waved repeatedly under their noses, a long with lots of encouragement to participate. Thus... being an HSP, providing a service for HSPs, can be a lot like trying to swim upstream against a very strong current.

I have come to the conclusion that one of my "callings" in life is to help HSPs find connection with their peers. My initial attempt (above) has clearly not been "enough." So I am now looking into new ways to help my previously "invisible" groups become more visible.

Because, after all, there is tremendous value in hsp-peer connections... and someone has to be the first person who stands up and says "OK, let's get this party started!"

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Talk back: If there were a local or regional HSP group in your area, and someone else took care of organizing it, and making sure only HSPs were part of the group, and the group met (online, or offline) in an "HSP-safe" environment-- and all you had to do was show up... would you participate? Would you participate in a web group, only?

Creating an Austin HSP MeetUp Group!

When Elaine Aron was here in Austin, we talked a little bit about support groups for HSPs.

Whereas Elaine is all in favor of HSPs connecting with other HSPs and helping each other in an understanding environment — peer counseling — she said that she has never started any groups because it would represent a "conflict of interests."

She also said she couldn't really "endorse" groups, formally. However, she certainly encouraged me to do something for local HSPs.

Some of us who attended her workshop at The Crossings talked about how nice it would be to have a group. Of course, nobody's really all that keen on being the person in charge.

I brought up the idea of using the website MeetUp.com to facilitate things, since it is precisely designed as a sort of networking that allows people to go online to create connections offline. I know at least Jennifer and Serenity are interested in participating.

We'll see what happens. In my experience with HSPs and groups (online), there's a long distance between liking an idea and being part of something.

Connecting Locally: Groups for HSPs

This weekend I have been thinking (again) about the way HSPs feel "disconnected" in the world, and how we often tend to isolate ourselves.

At the HSP Gathering in California, Elaine Aron spoke about the importance of HSPs connecting with other HSPs. During the interactive session after her presentation, a couple of people asked about how to meet other HSPs locally. Elaine pointed out that there's an entire chapter dedicated to HSP Discussion Groups in the back of The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook, outlining how people might start and maintain their own local groups.

I do have the workbook, and have read this chapter-- 42 pages worth-- and found it a bit overwhelming. The idea of groups appeals to me, but I am also not sure there are enough HSPs around Austin, TX to form a local group. Texas feels like one of the least HSP-aware parts of the US.

I have also been looking at a new web site called "meetup," which seems to work as an intermediary or organizing tool for people who connect online, but want to meet in physical space. They do have a category called "Fans of Elaine Aron and Highly Sensitive Persons" but there are only 92 people listed as "interested," in the entire country. And since the group heading doesn't include the term "HSP," I'm not sure how many will find it. As usual... another great tool if your interest is "I love dogs," not so great if your interest is unusual or esoteric.

But why not online groups, in the meantime? Elaine Aron doesn't really talk much about online discussion, but why not? It seems more suitable to HSPs-- most of whom are introverts, after all. The HSP group on Yahoo has 100's of members, and so does Thomas Eldridge's HSP message board... I've been part of both for several years.

I know I'd personally feel more comfortable getting to "know" people online before meeting them. I experienced it firsthand with HSPs at the California Gathering-- several people from the Yahoo group were there, and it felt like we "knew" each other when we met.

I am thinking about starting up "local" (or "regional") HSP groups on Yahoo. I don't really relish the idea of being an "admin" of any more groups (I have a lot going on... such as trying to make a living) but I don't think anyone else is going to do it.

For now, maybe I will start with a few major cities/regions where there is above average HSP awareness-- perhaps California, the Northeast, Chicago area, Seattle/Vancouver... and see what happens. I'll post links here as I figure out how to do this.

If anybody has any suggestions on how to do this, or are looking for a group in your area, leave a comment or send me an email.