20 Years of HSP Gatherings!

A couple of days ago, I had the privilege of being part of a "Virtual Gathering" for past attendees of the HSP Gathering Retreats... on occasion of the fact that it has now been TWENTY YEARS since the first Gathering!

View from Walker Creek Ranch where early HSP
Gatherings took place

Aside from it being a fun and somewhat nostalgic experience to participate in the Zoom call — sign of our times — it was also slightly surreal and a bit of an eye-opener to realize that it has been so long. 

Then I reflected on the fact that it had already been five years since I read Elaine Aron's book, by the time I attended that first Gathering in 2002.

Life is filled with interesting contrasts. 

We have come a very long way since those first tentative steps we took in the late 1990's, when a handful of people reached out to each other through one of the earliest online social systems, a website called "EGroups," now long defunct.

But even while I write these words 23 years later, only a tiny percentage of the world's HSPs are aware (a) that the trait even exists and (b) that they might be one.

Time... and our lives... move on.

When I first learned about the trait — and when I went to my first HSP Gathering — the entire concept of Being An HSP was very important to me!

All these years later, my approach has mellowed considerably. I have largely put away my expounding plank, and only mention the trait occasionally when I believe my doing so will be of benefit to someone who's very obviously struggling with similar issues to mine of 25 years ago. 

Maybe that's just experience.

Turtle Pond, at Walker Creek Ranch

Oddly enough, my conviction that being Highly Sensitive is a "real thing" and has a major impact on how we experience life... is deeper than ever, and yet I am less attached to anyone caring than ever. 

Maybe that's just having grown comfortable in my skin, and not needing external validation for who I am. I know who I am. I don't need someone else to tell me, or to "make it OK" for me. I don't expect special treatment or concessions.

Sadly, my old web site "Inner Reflections" no longer exists. I say "sadly," because it had (among other things) a very heartfelt and detailed photo journal of that first HSP Gathering Retreat I went to. If you care enough to dig around, you might be able to find the pages captured on the Internet Archive.

However, I do remember clearly what a life-changing experience it was to be in a room with 30-odd people, all of whom "understood" what it was like to be in the world, feeling as we did. And that, dear friends, is a memory and feeling I will always hold near and dear!

And if the whole HSP "thing" is new to you... you might consider going to an HSP Gathering Retreat!

As always, thank you for reading!

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East Coast HSP Gathering Registration Update

Just a very brief "news update" today, concerning the upcoming 2008 East Coast HSP Gathering in New York:

The "early bird registration discount" (which originally ended on August 2nd) has been extended until September 2nd, because a finalized agenda was not posted in time for people to look at, prior to registering.

So, if you've been "thinking about it" (as we HSPs are prone to do) you can still pay the lower registration fee-- but don't wait too long!

To see the agenda for the Gathering, and to register, visit Jacquelyn Strickland's web site.

East Coast HSP Gathering, October 2-6, 2008

The next HSP Gathering will take place in Phoenicia, New York, from October 2-6, 2008... and I'd like to encourage all who read this to consider going and being a participant!

This is the first Gathering to be held on the East Coast since since the Pennsylvania event in 2005-- offering a opportunity for those HSPs who don't live in California an easier venue to meet and spend time with peers.

Registration for the East Coast Gathering is now OPEN, and the sooner you sign up the lower the conference fee will be. I know it's in the nature of HSPs to "pause and reflect," but please register as soon as you can, as it will keep your cost lower... eventually, registration may reach an "as available" stage, if the maximum number of slots are filled. To register for the event, please visit Jacquelyn Strickland's web site.

I cannot overstate the "value" of going to an HSP Gathering. I say this from the perspective of what I have personally gained from going to six previous Gatherings... as well as from the perspective of watching 100s of HSPs experience major life transformations as a result of attending. Gatherings are about learning, about going on a retreat, and about fellowship with other HSPs. We spend Thursday through Monday together, engaged in a mixture of workshops, social time, and just "quiet time" to reflect on the ongoing experience.

Workshops at the New York Gathering will be presented by Jacquelyn Strickland, Sarah O'Doherty, Jessica Thayer and Elaine Aron will present to the group on Sunday afternoon via teleconference. Non-workshop activities will include Creativity Night, Music and Dance Night and Art Night, as well as plenty of time to simply socialize and get to know fellow HSPs. The venue for this Gathering is the Menla Mountain Retreat Center in Phoenicia, NY, about 2 hours north of New York City, set in the natural splendor of Catskill Park.

You might say "yeah, but it's just too expensive!" Well... actually, you'd spend TWICE the amount it costs to go to a Gathering, to go to a weekend workshop with Elaine Aron at Esalen, Omega Rhinebeck or Kripalu. I feel fairly confident in saying that it will probably be one of the best ways of helping yourself understand the HSP trait, and in feeling validated as an HSP. There's a good reason why people keep returning to these events, year after year. This will be the 15th Gathering since they began in 2001.

You might say "yeah, but it's a GROUP!" True. It is. But I can also tell you that a group of HSPs is like NO other group you'll ever be part of. The level of emotional safety, validation and inclusion is-- literally-- "mind altering" for people... I have watched even the MOST retiring and introverted of HSPs virtually "become extraverts," in a matter of just 48 hours.

You might say "yeah, but I am too much of a misfit, even for a group of HSPs." If you are skeptical, or want to get a better sense of how a Gathering REALLY work, I encourage you to read Gathering attendee Marcia Norris' words on "Why HSPs Need To Gather" or read my own photojournals from a couple of Gatherings I have been to.

http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/hspgatheringretreats/info.htm#note
http://innerreflections.homestead.com/hsp03ca1.html
http://innerreflections.homestead.com/hsp07ca1.html

Again, I can only say that I have personally watched fellow HSPs' perspective change from a sense of "I am doomed to be a misfit" to having made a dozen new friends, in a matter of days.

To loosely paraphrase one of my good friends and fellow HSPs, who has attended many Gatherings: "It is amazing to come here and feel more welcome and included by a bunch of strangers than I feel with people who have been my family for over 50 years."

Information about the upcoming Gathering, as well as registration forms-- is now available on organizer Jacquelyn Strickland's web site:

Info: http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/hspgathering.htm
Registration form: http://www.lifeworkshelp.com/RegistrationEastCoast2008.pdf

Reflections on the California HSP Gathering

I've been reflecting a bit on the HSP Gathering that just took place at Walker Creek Ranch in northern California. It seems like every one of the Gatherings I have been to has had its own "atmosphere."

And perhaps that speaks loudly to the fact that you CAN'T really go to a Gathering and then come home and dismiss the idea of going again sometime with a simple "been there, done that." Sure, you can form a very general idea of what to expect, but with each event comes new people and a new "vibe."

Being at a Gathering always triggers my "idealist heart." In the course of a few days, I watch people (who sometimes haven't made a "true friend" in a decade or more) forge deeper connections than they have with people they have known for years, or even all their lives. And that is a brand of "magic," all of its own. So my idealist heart experiences this, and then I recognize how incredibly important it is for HSPs to have other HSPs in their lives... and I find myself wondering...

If, as Elaine Aron estimates, there are truly 15% HSPs in the greater world, why do I so seldom find more than a handful, here and there. Millions and millions of people use the Internet, yet most online HSP groups have only a few hundred members. Think about this: At 15%, there would be over 40 million HSPs in the US, alone! I think about that, and then I ponder why it is so difficult to find even a few dozen, to form local support and social groups. And I wonder-- what could I do, to help connect some of all these people?

As I said, I'm an idealist. Hopelessly so, at times.

I also have an "inner skeptic" who argues with the idealist, and says things like "Get over yourself! You're just wearing 'workshop goggles' and seeing things that aren't there" (Workshop goggles being the equivalent of "beer goggles," aka things just look unrealistically better, when you're "under the influence").

Truth is, though, I've been to dozens of self-growth/spiritual workshops over the past couple of decades... and do not have the same "feelings" for them I have after HSP Gatherings... nor the long-term deep connections with people. Sure, they were fun, enlightening, educational, mind altering and assorted other adjectives. But in the end... just another "It has been real-- have a nice life!" event.

"Workshop goggles" or not, I never stop wondering at the degree to which it is the "social aspects" of Gatherings that linger with me, LONG after any memory of "workshops" have left my mind. And the Idealist in me looks for ways to take that "lightning in a bottle" and share it with a much broader circle of HSPs... a bit little ripples spreading across a pond.

Why would I care?

HSPs-- in groups-- are very "organic." What I mean by that, is that you can put 20 HSPs together, and they will have much more in common than merely being sensitive. In contrast, put 20 vintage car enthusiasts, or 20 people affiliated with a political party together, and odds are they'll only have marginally more commonalities than any random group of people. It's this organic nature of HSPs as peers that makes it so important for them to connect.

Notes from the 2008 California HSP Gathering

The 2008 California HSP Gathering was held in Marin Co, north of San Francisco, on June 19-23, 2008. The venue-- Walker Creek Ranch-- has been used for gatherings since 2001, and is a popular spot with HSPs, thanks to its natural surroundings and peaceful facilities.

I almost didn't go to this Gathering-- in large part because it has been a difficult year, both financially and emotionally. However, it seemed to be the right thing to do, at the end of a stressful six months. I'm glad I went-- this was my 6th HSP Gathering.

It was a relatively small Gathering, with a little over 20 people there for the entire five days; the group growing to 26-28 when some "day commuters" came in to hear Elaine Aron's presentation on "HSPs and Self-Esteem." In addition, we had workshops on Myers-Briggs and The Enneagram.

Gatherings provide a wonderful blend of "learning" and "fellowship." In the evenings we had "Creativity Night" (always a favorite, in which members of the group share their creative passions) and we even had a music and dance night, proving that HSPs are NOT always "quietly sitting in the corner." As a returning "Gatherer," my favorite part of these events is always the chance to be with other HSPs-- to renew old connections, and to form new ones.

California HSP Gathering

I am about to head to the 2008 California HSP Gathering, which will take place at Walker Creek Ranch, north of San Francisco, on June 19-23.

Normally you would have seen some advance announcements on this site about the Gathering, but I have not been very involved in the HSP community, these past six months.

I am looking forward to some healing days of relaxation with other members of my "tribe." I'll try to write something about the Gathering, when I get home.

HSPs and the push-pull dilemma

I've been told that-- as HSPs go-- I am very "out there" and "visible."

Considering that I see myself as very much of an introvert (and the "I" in my Myers-Briggs INFJ is without question), it always surprises me a bit when people tell me this. When I dig around for an explanation, they point to my blogs and web sites, and the way I participate in events like the HSP Gatherings, and local HSP groups, and so forth.

It made me pause and reflect on the "push-pull" dilemma a lot of sensitives face. Most HSPs-- in their souls and essences-- are idealists with a strong drive to change the world and make life a better place, for all. The idea of "changing things," as well as the idea of connecting with their peers, appeals to them.

At the same time, most HSPs are introverts (70-75%) and many have issues with overstimulation from a lot of activity and interaction, if not with outright Social Anxiety. As such, being in the world can feel very daunting.

The above certainly the potential to set up some inner conflicts and paradoxes: We want to change the world, but to change the world we must get "out there" and "be seen," and "being seen" causes us to become overstimulated or anxious, so we instead end up "staying in," keeping all our grand ideas to ourselves, and gradually grow all depressed over not having changed the world.

Elaine Aron describes the plight of the HSS (High Sensation Seeker) HSP as being akin to driving with one foot on the brake and one foot on the gas-- there's a pull in opposite directions. An inner "I want to go, but I'm anxious about going" dynamic. The more I have learned about the trait, the more I believe there are elements of this dynamic that can be applied to all HSPs.

Of course, the whole idea of "Changing the World" can be a stumbling block, in and of itself. We can easily get stuck in what I call the "Cure-for-Cancer Syndrome." That is, we believe we must do something "important" in order for the world to benefit. Perhaps it's true that we tend to hear about "big" accomplishments-- however, the vast majority of change in the world occurs as a result of lots of people making lots of tiny changes that cumulatively have a huge effect on the greater good.

Getting back to the push-pull issue, the one thing we do have to do, in order to effectuate change in the world, is find ways in which we are willing to "be seen."

Now, my "being seen" may be quite different from your "being seen," but they have in common that we must find a way to get our ideas moved from "merely a concept inside our minds" to being "shared with others." This can be a considerable challenge for HSPs. Over the years I have met so many who have had wonderful things to contribute, but for whatever reasons (mostly relating to the fear of overstimulation and not wanting to be noticed by others) say "no, I can't do that" when asked to share with the world. Similarly, there are times when we have to "take our heart in our hands" and take that step required to get involved, in a local group, or going to self-improvement workshops, or attending an HSP Gathering.

If we don't, we run the risk of spending our lives eternally sitting on the fence, watching others live while we miss out.

TALK BACK: Are there things you "wish" you'd do, but feel held back because it would mean you were "seen?" Even small things, like contributing to an online forum, or starting a blog? Or larger things, like a social group you know you'd like, but can't bring yourself to go to? Or are you willingly and openly "out" there? If so, does this come naturally to you, or have you had to "train" yourself?

Please leave a comment!

HSP Topics: Filling in Dangerous "Blanks"

For me-- as well as for many of the HSPs I have met-- one of the more rewarding parts of the trait is the deep empathy we seem capable of. I have heard many describe this as literally "feeling others." This can range from a simple "picking up someone else's mood," to a few very highly attuned empaths who literally can "see someone's story" in an almost psychic manner.

Of course, this can also be rather overstimulating-- many HSPs have trouble with crowds, simply because the "psychic clutter" of so many people assaults their senses, on top of which they often have to explain themselves to friends who insist that they are just "imagining things." Even when they choose to not talk about their empathic gifts, HSPs often get their reluctance around crowds mislabeled as "social anxiety" or "shyness."

Regardless of whether you see your tendency to pick up moods and feelings as a "gift" or a "curse," it is often wise to not become overconfident. Because there are times when the "message" we think we have picked up is just plain wrong. And we can get into a heap of trouble by either insisting to our friend (who's actually quite OK) that they share whatever (we thought) is "wrong," or we attribute one of our own moods to something outside ourselves. Sometimes we simply "fill in blanks" that we had no business filling in.

Most people think of empathy and intuition as something we either "have" or "don't have," and whereas that may be true in a simplistic sense, they can also be trained and directed. For example, at the 2004 HSP Gathering in Three Rivers, CA, one of the workshops offered was on "Developing your Intuition." A large part of the focus was on learning to actually "tune in" to our intuition, rather than just "shoot from the hip." Similarly, in her book "Empowered by Empathy," author and empath Rose Rosetree suggests that we can learn to "manage" our empathic gifts. Her book is in the recommended reading list in the right hand column.

As is true of the HSP trait in general, learning about your empathy and intuition is important. The more you know, the more it can help your life, and the life of others.

TALK BACK: Do you sometimes catch yourself relying excessively on your abilities as an empath? Have you sometimes "filled in blanks" about people you would have been better off leaving alone? Do you experience your ability to sense others' moods as a benefit, or a drawback? Leave a comment!

Thoughts from the First Colorado HSP Gathering

I am gradually "returning to the surface" again after my trip to the HSP Gathering in Estes Park, Colorado. I had a somewhat different perspective this time, as organizer Jacquelyn Strickland had invited me to co-host the event, and I also facilitated a workshop (along with a couple of other "activities")... things that stretched my introverted self well outside my normal comfort zones.

This was my 5th Gathering... and each has its own unique "atmosphere." It was also one of the largest Gatherings, with a "peak" attendance of 37 HSPs... and I came away this time with perhaps more authentic and deep connections than I have before. Sometimes the mix of personalities seems "just right," and this was one of those times.

The setting for this Gathering was Estes Park, CO... adjacent to Rocky Mountain National Park, it was really a wonderful venue. We were at the YMCA of the Rockies-- which is not like most people would picture a typical "Y," rather it is a sprawling campus of buildings across a very large parcel of land-- capable of hosting conventions and retreats of up to 1500 people.

Gatherings are not easy to explain. On the surface, they unfold a bit like a spiritual/self-growth workshop... but on a deeper level, they also tend to be truly life-changing events for attendees. There's a level of comfort and connection and validation many people have never experienced before in their lives-- and that just changes you, as a person. For five days, you get to experience how it feels to be "100% OK" in the company of a group of peers. Being in a group of HSPs is nothing like the atmosphere we normally associate with "group" events.

When I first started going to Gatherings, it was to learn; these days I go almost purely for the fellowship, and to help other HSPs make connections. In talking to a couple of other attendees, I shared that Gatherings have become a fixture on my "social calendar," every year. HSP Gatherings (officially known as "Gathering Retreats") are constantly evolving. In the broadest sense, they now (loosely) follow a format fairly common in spiritual and self-growth workshops... there's a morning session that's more or less a "classroom" workshop; there's an afternoon session that's less formal, and might include discussions of "what we have learned," or may be some kind of "extracurricular" activity. Evenings are designed mostly for socializing.

The opening day, Thursday, is mainly for "getting-to-know-you" activities and introductions, along with a bit of orientation. The remaining days offer a mixture of workshops on HSP-related topics, typically culminating with Elaine Aron's workshop on Sunday morning. Because we were in splendid natural surroundings, this Gathering included a lot of outdoor activities-- hiking, picnic, watching the Elk at the Park (although they were all over the YMCA campus, as well), horseback riding. This time we also had "Art Night" and "Creativity Night," which are long standing favorites with attendees. In the late evenings, there was usually a group of people sitting around, talking, till the wee hours.

The learning is nice, but as one of my fellow attendees commented, "the real star of the show is the camaraderie between likeminded souls." And I must second that. It seems that even for those who come "to learn," it still ends up being "the people" that leaves the strongest impression.

I love watching people share what they hope to get from the Gathering on opening night, and then hearing what they are taking with them, as we go through closing remarks, five days later. The differences are often striking. "Something" happens to people who go to Gatherings. No matter HOW introverted, anxious and hesitant they might feel when they arrive, by the end of about the third day you'd be hard pressed to say that anyone present is an introvert. People who (three days earlier) would swear on a stack of Bibles that they would NEVER speak in front of a group voluntarily tell their life stories in front of a roomful of people. I don't know HOW it happens, it just DOES.

I find myself somewhat at a loss for words, trying to describe how it feels to be there. In fact, you really have to go to one to fully "get" what it's about. For those of you intrigued, the next fixed date for a Gathering is California (San Francisco Bay Area) on June 19-23, 2008. There MAY be a US East Coast event before that (spring 2008), but that remains contingent on someone "local" stepping forward to co-host. For those of you with a slightly longer time horizon, there's a Gathering planned for the UK in the spring of 2009... I met the co-host-- Sam New-Fielding-- here at the Colorado Gathering, and think she's going to help put on a wonderful event.

HSP Gathering in Estes Park, Colorado, October 4-8, 2007

I am writing this post to share information about the next HSP Gathering, which will take place in Estes Park, Colorado, from October 4th-8th, 2007... and to encourage all who read this to seriously consider attending a Gathering.

This is the first Gathering (13th overall, since 2001) to be held in a location not on the west or east coast, offering more ready access for people all over the country. Also, with Denver being the "central hub" of most US air travel, this is an attractive location from the perspective of inexpensive air fare. And if you need a different sort of "excuse," Colorado is REALLY beautiful in the fall, when the leaves are turning.

Registration for the Colorado Gathering is now open, and the sooner you sign up the lower the conference fee will be. I know it's in the nature of HSPs to "pause and reflect," but please do register as soon as you can, as it will keep your cost lower... eventually, registration may reach an "as available" stage, if you wait too long.

I cannot overstate the "value" of going to a Gathering. I say this from the perspective of what I have personally gained from going to many Gatherings... as well as from the perspective of watching 100s of HSPs undergo major life transformations as a result of going. We may be able to intellectually grasp the idea that we're "OK," but there is no substitute fot actually feeling that, through direct experience.

Gatherings are about learning, about going on a retreat, and about fellowship with other HSPs. We spend Thursday through Monday together, engaged in a mixture of workshops, social time, and just "quiet time" to reflect on the ongoing experience. The atmosphere is casual, never stressful.

You might say "yeah, but it's just too expensive!" I'll save the long-winded explanation that it's actually a lot LESS than your typical 5-day self-growth workshop-- in fact, you'd spend twice the amount it costs to go to a Gathering, to go to a weekend workshop with Elaine Aron at a retreat center like Esalen, Omega or Kripalu. Instead, I'll just say that I feel fairly confident in stating that it will probably be the best money you'll ever spend in helping yourself understand the HSP trait, and in feeling validated as an HSP. There's a good reason why people keep returning to these events, year after year.

You might say "yeah, but it's a GROUP!" True. It is. But I can also assure you that a group of HSPs is like NO other group you'll ever be part of. The level of emotional safety and inclusion is-- literally-- "mind altering" for people... I have watched even the most retiring and introverted of HSPs virtually "become extraverts," in a matter of 48 hours.

You might say "yeah, but I am too much of a misfit, even for a group of HSPs!" If you are skeptical, or want to get a better sense of how a Gathering really works, I encourage you to read Gathering attendee Marcia Norris' words on "Why HSPs Need To Gather" from 2002 or read my own photojournal from the first Gathering I went to, in California. Again, I can only say that I have personally watched people's perspective change from a sense of "I am a misfit" to having made a dozen genuine friendships, in a matter of days. To loosely paraphrase one attendee of several Gatherings: "It is amazing to come here and feel more welcome and included by a bunch of strangers than I feel with people who have been my family for over 50 years."

I couldn't agree more.

Gathering registration forms are now available (as a pdf download) on organizer Jacquelyn Strickland's web site. You're also welcome to email me with questions about Gatherings, or leave a comment!

In review: 2007 California HSP Gathering

It felt like a bit of a homecoming to return to Walker Creek Ranch in Marin County for the 2007 West Coast HSP Gathering. WCR is one of my favorite spots in the world, and it was also the venue of the very first HSP Gathering, as well as the location for the first Gathering I personally attended.

This was the 12th Gathering; the 5th at Walker Creek Ranch. 26 HSPs from as far away as New Zealand attended, spending four days together. As always, it was a beautiful experience to see people from around the world come together, and realize that they had "found their tribe" after many years of feeling like "the odd one."

Every Gathering appears to have a particular "spirit;" the spirit of this event seemed to be "camraderie." More than any other Gathering I have been to, "socializing" took center stage, as normally retiring and private HSPs stayed up till 1:00-1:30 in the morning, talking in the common room, or around an impromptu campfire.

In addition to social time, there were a variety of workshops to choose from, culminating with Elaine Aron's "keynote presentation" on Saturday morning, followed by a book signing. Although not attending to give a workshop, Dr. Barrie Jaeger (author of "Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person") was also at the Gathering, and met informally with many gatherers to discuss HSPs and work.

As often is the case, the "closing circle" was the most emotionally charged time we had, as each person contemplated and shared what they hoped to take with them. Overwhelmingly, the answers tended towards the idea of "community," and "belonging" and a deep desire to stay connected with the beautiful people we had so quickly managed to connect so deeply with.

***

The idea of going to an HSP Gathering may seem unusual to many who read this. After all, it seems "unlikely" that an HSP would voluntarily travel across the country (stress) to be with a group (stress) of strangers (stress). All I can tell you-- as a result of experiencing many HSP Gatherings and workshops-- is that a group of HSPs is not like "a group" as you might be familiar with it. The energy is gentle and accepting; all the things you may have thought made you "odd" are suddenly OK, and probably shared by most present. I highly recommend going to gatherings, because they are-- quite simply-- life-changing events.

The next HSP Gathering will take place in Estes Park, CO on October 4-7th, 2007. For more information, and to register, please visit organizer Jacquelyn Strickland's web site.

2007 California HSP Gathering

There are few things more healing and validating than spending time with other members of "Our Tribe."

"Tribes" typically form around a common interest, activity, or cause. It doesn't really matter what we might consider our tribe to be-- the common point is being among people who seem to "get it" in ways we don't experience in our daily lives.

In a few days, I am heading to Northern California for the 2007 West Coast HSP Gathering. Yes, HSPs have "Gatherings." This will be the 12th such event since 2001; the 4th I will have gone to. Past venues have included New England, B.C. Canada, Washington and the UK, in addition to multiple locations in California. A "Gathering" is basically four days of HSPs spending time together in workshops, meditation and general socializing with their peers.

The thought of voluntarily going and spending time with a group of relative strangers is daunting-- even scary-- to most people. However, I am really looking forward to the Gathering, because experience has shown me that the type of event I am going to-- even with 30 other people present-- will most likely represent the four most peaceful days of my year. I am also looking forward to meeting with HSP Authors Elaine Aron and Barrie Jaeger.

If you have ever thought about attending an HSP Gathering, I highly recommend it!

Calendar: 2007 HSP Gatherings

I am going to take a brief "commercial break" here to put in a plug to all HSPs to consider making one of the HSP Gatherings part of your 2007 schedule.

I have attended several of these events, and cannot stress enough how much of a validating experience they are for HSPs. There is nothing quite like spending a long weekend in a completely "HSP safe" space.

Some HSPs express concern about going to a "group event." And I must admit that the first time I went to an HSP Gathering, I felt very apprehensive about voluntarily agreeing to spend four days with 30 complete strangers. But my fears were unfounded. The "energy" of a group of HSPs is such that it really doesn't feel like you're "in a group."

Although it may seem expensive to many, the expense of going to an HSP Gathering is actually considerably lower than most spiritual and self-growth workshops of similar length.

Make a difference in your life-- attend an HSP Gathering!

HSPs and Relating, part II

I think "relating" is particularly important for HSPs.

Actually, I think what is important, is that we have peers to relate to. Other HSPs. Nobody understands what it means to be an HSP, like another HSP. And I feel it is central to our sense of emotional well-being to to feel "related to" on the deep level only one of our peers is capable of. Some might say it seems elitist or exclusive to specifically seek out fellow HSPs... and I have to ask "WHY those feelings?" What is telling you to just accept less than an ideal situation?

And that's why I always am recommending to HSPs that they make friendships with other HSPs. Even if you don't know anyone in your immediate circle, consider making friends with other HSPs online.

Better yet, make plans to attend one of the Annual HSP Gatherings. I have been to several of them, and a large part of my strong feelings about HSPs befriending their peers is a result of my personal experiences with the Gatherings.

It may seem expensive on the surface, but it really is worth it!

California Gathering postscript

I felt disappointed that I did not end up going to the 5th annual Gathering in California, earlier this month. In a sense, the Gatherings have come to be like a "touchpoint to sanity" for me, in recent years. But it was not to be, as there was a contract on the house (which eventually fell through) which made it infeasible for me to leave. The event was at Walker Creek Ranch again this year, and I was looking forward to going back.

I have been waiting for feedback to arrive from some of the people who went, but have not yet heard anything. The world seems to be somewhat in upheaval these days, and it makes me wonder how the atmosphere at the Gathering might have been. These seem to be difficult days for HSPs. The world is increasingly being torn by strife and wars, and evermore aggressiveness and competitiveness seems to be the order of the day, in order for people to just make ends meet in the working life.

Get Ready! The 2006 California HSP Gathering is just two months away!

Registration for the 2006 Annual California HSP Gathering & Retreat has now begun! The Gathering will take place on June 14th-18th, at Walker Creek Ranch in Marin County, north of San Francisco, CA.

As in previous years, Elaine Aron will give the keynote presentation; this year the topic will be:

"What's special about the HSP's brain and body-- scientific facts and theories."

In addition, there will be a number of other workshops offered, relating to various aspects of living as an HSP. However, as much as the Gatherings are an opportunity to learn, they are also an opportunity to meet and get to know other HSPs. The workshops are optional, allowing participants to "set their own pace," and there will be plenty of time to just relax in a supportive and validating environment.

Walker Creek Ranch has been the venue for several previous Gatherings, and is an HSP-friendly conference and educational facility located on 1700 fenced acres near Tomales Bay, with miles of hiking trails and opportunities to be outside in quiet natural surroundings.

If you have concerns about being an HSP and participating in a "group" event, or are merely curious about what it's like to be at a Gathering, please visit my online photojournal from the 2003 California Gathering, which also took place at Walker Creek Ranch. It will give you a good feel for both the location, as well as the "atmosphere" of an HSP Gathering.

The sooner you register the better! The conference fee is $225 until April 15th, $250 from April 16th to May 15th, and $275 thereafter. After June 1st, registration will be strictly on a "space-available" basis.

A variety of accomodations are available, ranging from "dormitory style" housing to private rooms. This year, for the first time, there will also be a "camping option," allowing you to bring your tent and sleeping bag, while having access to the central bathhouse and dining hall (11 meals, 4 nights).

For more HSP Gathering information, please visit Jacquelyn Strickland's web site. You can download a registration form online (requires Adobe Acrobat Reader), and payment can either be mailed in, or made through PayPal, a secure online payment facility that accepts "virtual checks" and credit cards. Here's a link to information about making secure online payment.

As a participant at several past HSP Gatherings, I highly recommend the experience. And yes, I am an introvert, and yes, I was very apprehensive about going to a "group thing," the first time I went. However, I fairly quickly learned that a group of HSPs is not at all like "a group," much the way our community here isn't like most other online communities.

Creating an Austin HSP MeetUp Group!

When Elaine Aron was here in Austin, we talked a little bit about support groups for HSPs.

Whereas Elaine is all in favor of HSPs connecting with other HSPs and helping each other in an understanding environment — peer counseling — she said that she has never started any groups because it would represent a "conflict of interests."

She also said she couldn't really "endorse" groups, formally. However, she certainly encouraged me to do something for local HSPs.

Some of us who attended her workshop at The Crossings talked about how nice it would be to have a group. Of course, nobody's really all that keen on being the person in charge.

I brought up the idea of using the website MeetUp.com to facilitate things, since it is precisely designed as a sort of networking that allows people to go online to create connections offline. I know at least Jennifer and Serenity are interested in participating.

We'll see what happens. In my experience with HSPs and groups (online), there's a long distance between liking an idea and being part of something.

Recap: Elaine Aron Workshop in Austin

This past weekend, I was part of Elaine Aron's three-day workshop at the Crossings retreat center, here in Austin. It's the first time Elaine has taught in the US in a location not on the east or west coast.

Although it was quite different from the format of the Gathering in California, it was still a wonderful experience. The workshop started on Friday evening with what amounted to mostly an introduction and outline of what we would be covering for the remainder of the weekend. There were 22 people in attendance at the start. It felt a bit strange, because there were only two men, and 20 women-- and the other man left after the first break and never showed back up. Whereas I felt a bit self-conscious at first, I am actually somewhat used to being in metaphysics workshops where most attendees are women.

Elaine's three-day workshops are basically an "interactive" introduction to the basics of being Highly Sensitive, as she covered it in her books. What's nice about the format is that she asks participants what they want to talk about, and then the workshop is structured around those ideas. She also takes plenty of time for breaks, in case people get overstimulated. There's also no pressure to "participate," although the more interesting parts come about as a result of input and stories from the participants.

The workshop consisted of a Friday evening session, two three-hour sessions on Saturday, and a single three-hour session on Sunday. There was lots of free time in between, offering people a chance to get to know each other, and to use the facilities at The Crossings, which were wonderful.

Because I have already been "on the path" of self-discovering as an HSP since 1997, I didn't really expect to learn very much new-- although Elaine did present some of her latest research on rewiring people's neural nets after traumas, as an alternative to conventional therapy. My main reason for going was to meet other HSPs, and especially to meet HSPs in the Austin area.

Of the 20-odd attendees, 11 were from Texas, with 8 from greater Austin. We did get a little time to talk, and I do believe we have the foundations for a local HSP group! I also made a new friend-- one of those wonderful experiences where you just instantly "connect" with someone, and everything feels rather "effortless." Alas, she lives near Fort Worth, some 200 miles away-- thank goodness for email!

All in all, it was a great experience, and I felt like I got to connect with a new set of "tribe members." If you find yourself in an area where Elaine is teaching, I would highly recommend attending one of these workshops-- both to learn, and to connect with other HSPs.

HSP Gathering October 16-19 in Litchfield, CT

The second Annual East Coast HSP Gathering will take place at Wisdom House in Litchfield, CT on October 16-19, 2003.

See Elaine Aron's web site for more information at:

http://www.hsperson.com/pages/gather.htm

I can tell you from my personal experiences this past summer that an HSP Gathering is a very empowering and validating event-- and it's not too late to sign up for the coming event! I wish I could go, but unfortunately my finances won't allow it.

A Strange Letdown

It has been more than a month, since I went to the HSP Gathering in California. For quite a while, I felt very excited about having found my "tribe," and about the connections I had made with new friends. I worked hard to create a lot of web pages chronicling what it was like, and I wrote articles and posts on the Internet about the event.

In recent days, I have started to feel rather "flat." Even though I still am exchanging a lot of email with people I met, the volume has slowed way down... and folks who for a moment seemed enthusiastic and outgoing seem to have gone back into hiding.

I realize that it's the feeling of having "had" something, and now I am missing it. I am not entirely sure what to do about that. I have previously met with people I first knew on the Internet, and we became friends in "real life" as well-- but this feels different, somehow. Perhaps it's because the connection and sense of "community" was so intense. And because we all seemed to get along, so well.

As I look back on those four days in June, I am once again amazed at how 30-odd people could spend so much time, so close to each other... and never have an argument or an annoyed moment.

I miss that.