If You're an HSP-- It's Time to Stand up and be Counted!

There are a great many traits, characteristics, interests, behaviors, conditions and preferences that influence our lives.

Maybe we are HSP's-- Highly Sensitive Persons. Maybe we are "introverts." Maybe we have "allergies." Maybe we identify with a Myers-Briggs type preference like "INFJ" or we prefer an enneagram type like "Type Nine." Maybe we're "ADHD" or have "CFS" or are prone to "anxiety." Maybe we are "gifted" or "empaths." Whatever the identifiers might be, it all adds up to some kind of "acronym soup."

Don't misunderstand-- I have nothing against "acronym soup;" I actually believe all these different labels can offer us very useful insights that help us navigate life. They only become an "issue" if we reach a point where we substitute "the label" for "who we truly ARE."

Which bring me to a particular statistic I like to send through my twitter account on a regular basis:

HSP factoid: If HSPs are truly 15% of the population, there are over ONE BILLION of us on the planet!

Pretty stunning piece of information, don't you think?

The above is based on Elaine Aron's original research which shows that 15-20% of the population are HSPs. I'm using the "conservative" lower number, here. As I write these words, the "population clock" on the U.S. Census web site estimates the world population to be 7,078,772,000 people. It estimates the population of the United States to be 315,673,000 people. If you use the 15% figure, that means:

There are an estimated 1,061,815,800 Highly Sensitive Persons on planet Earth.
There are an estimated 47,350,950 Highly Sensitive Persons in the United States.

Let that sink in, for a moment.

Pretty amazing, isn't it?

Now consider this: If there truly are so many HSPs... where on earth are they?

The other day, I was on a busy commuter time ferry from Seattle to Bainbridge Island. As I wandered around to pass the time on the 30-minute crossing, it occurred to me that since I was in close proximity to 2500-odd people, it also meant there were probably 400 HSPs within a few hundred feet of me.

It made me pause to consider a simple question: How many of them KNOW they are HSPs? Then the follow-up question: How would their lives be different, if they did know?

I spent the next 20 minutes sitting in the car, in my version of "deep thought." It occurred to me that there are lots and lots of "attributes" found in a significant percentage of the population, as well as some found in maybe only 1-2% and they all get lots more attention than "being an HSP." More people are aware of them, more people talk about them, and each of them have more to say about it.

I went looking for HSPs on the web, and considering how many of us there are and that the idea has been "in the public arena" for over 15 years, I was amazed at just how invisible we are. And in the few places where we are visible, how little we participate.

So I went on a longer "journey," trying to figure out where "we" are.

First I looked at HSPs as compared to other interests or attributes. I visited some INFJ Myers-Briggs/Jungian typology forums which were among my old haunts. It seemed relevant since the majority of INFJs are also HSPs. An INFJ forum I used to belong to currently has about 7400 members with hundreds of discussions every day.

This, for an "interest" that's present in less than 1.5% of the general population. By comparison, the largest and most active HSP group online is on Facebook and has about 2500 members.

To compare something different, I looked at introverts online. 70-75% of HSPs are introverts, and HSPs account for something on the order of half the world's introverts... so there's a lot of overlap, as well as some similarities and negative biases-- introverts are often seen as "too quiet" and "shy," by the world.

I found the introvert communities online to be thriving and active. I found it ironic that author Susan Cain's (she wrote the book "Quiet" and is also an HSP) forum just for her book is almost twice the size of the largest HSP forum.

So I decided to take a different approach-- looking at high sensitivity from the angle of being more of a "problem" than an "interest." Back in days long gone, I was part of an online community offering support for those suffering from social anxiety-- an issue more than a few HSPs report to be part of their lives.

Social Anxiety affects an estimated 5% of the population, compared to 15-20% HSPs. My reasoning for going this route was that maybe HSPs are quiet about the trait because of hesitance that it's seen negatively. Similarly, Social Anxiety carries a bit of a negative connotation and stigma.

I was surprised to find that the old SA community online now has 115,000 members who have contributed millions of discussions. And that's just one of many such forums. In a related sense, I looked at an ADHD forum I'm vaguely acquainted with. Again a condition affecting maybe 6-8% of the population... here the forum (one of numerous) had some 71,000 members and lots of active dialogue. So, clearly, "fears of being perceived negatively" does not prevent people from participating in online communities.

By now, this was getting increasingly puzzling to me. Being a Highly Sensitive Person is something that clearly affects people's lives, clearly suggests the need to educate oneself and develop good life management skills, and clearly is a trait whose members benefit greatly from "peer connections" to share ideas and information.

Not happy with what I was finding, I did a little further digging, this time using my experience as a webmaster, researcher and e-commerce marketer.

Here's what I found: On one hand, more people are looking for information about high sensitivity and HSPs than ever before-- a trend that has been in place for at least eight years. During the same period, search queries for both Social Anxiety and ADHD have actually declined somewhat, while search volume for INFJs and Introverts have both increased.

After finally examining the "raw numbers" of search queries for different terms, some of the issue became clearer: In spite of being in the public awareness since 1996, there just aren't that many of the world's billion+ HSPs who know the trait even exists. And those who do know? They generally avoid talking about it... like it's a "secret" attribute.

That also gave me pause for thought. People seem more willing to be open about having a sexually transmitted disease than about being highly sensitive??? That just does not make sense, when you back away and consider it in a "big picture" sense....

Getting a little more "personal" with what I discovered, a very rough estimate would suggest that maybe two percent of the 47 million HSPs in the US are even aware they are "HSPs." Of those two percent, I expect a majority are very hesitant about letting anyone "know" about it.

But that's not all the explanation. More can be found in the phrase "non-participation." As keeper of several dozen web sites, blogs and forums I get to look at a lot of site visitor logs. Ironically, my HSP related properties (as opposed to "business" or "writing" or "stamp collecting") are some of the most visited, while at the same time being the least interactive.

I recently experimented a bit with this by installing a couple of totally anonymous interactive polls on a couple of HSP-related articles I have online. Sure enough, as long as anonymity was assured, participation shot up... with something like one-in-three visitors answering a couple of questions where before one-in-about-500 had chosen to make even a short comment, or click the Facebook "like" button.

What does this all mean to us, as highly sensitive people; as a growing global "community?"

From 15-odd years of following the dialogue and trends of HSP forums around the world, one of our overriding core concerns is having those around us recognize that we're "not crazy," and that our sensitivity is "not all in our heads." Ideally we'd like to be able to say "I'm an HSP" and not have the ensuing explanation turn into someone rolling their eyes at us.

Basically, we want to "be seen" as highly sensitive individuals, without negative judgments or cultural biases. We want our medical and mental health professionals to be aware of-- and acknowledge-- the trait, so we can get care that fits our sensitive nervous systems, rather than ignores them. We don't ask for "special treatment," just validation.

These are reasonable and honorable aspirations.

But... to be perfectly blunt... how the HELL do we expect that to happen if we're constantly "hiding" the fact that we're highly sensitive? How can things possibly change if we're not telling anyone, and not becoming members of-- and active participants in-- virtual and real life groups and communities??? How are the 46 million HSPs in the US who don't know about the trait ever going to escape from being misdiagnosed and drugged into oblivion for an ever-increasing basket of "disorders" and "syndromes" when we're not willing to be "visible examples" to them? How are they going to get off the "pathologization treadmill" and live fulfilling lives that are true representations of their essential selves... if we're going to persist in hiding our sensitive "lights" under a bushel?

Yes, the world is sometimes a harsh and scary place for the highly sensitive among us. And yes, it hurts when people judge us and marginalize us. But how can we expect things to "change" as long as we approach sensitivity with more secrecy and reluctance than social anxiety and even warts on our privates? How will things ever change, if we're not willing to STAND UP AND BE COUNTED??

---

Talk Back! Do you feel free to share (if asked) that you're highly sensitive, or do you have fears about others knowing you are an HSP? If you step back and take an objective look, are there "personal" things you share that are probably "worse" than being highly sensitive, yet seem easier to talk about? If you don't share the trait (especially if asked something like "what's wrong?"), what is your primary concern about sharing? Please share your experience and leave a comment!

Sharing is Love! Use the buttons below to share this article with others, and be part of spreading general awareness of the HSP trait. Thank you!
▼          ▼          ▼          ▼          ▼          ▼ 

HSPs and "Changing the World"

When I find myself with a group of HSPs, one of the common topics seems to be about how we can "change the world."

Perhaps it is true of everyone that they want to change the world (in SOME way), but it seems like HSPs ponder these issues more, and more often are anchored in the sense of idealism also common to "NF" Myers-Briggs types. For many, "changing the world" is more of a compulsion, than just an interest.

I've previously written about the issue of changing the world as being an issue so large it overwhelms us, and we get stuck. But there's more to changing the world than merely directing our energies at "bite sizes" we're capable of handling. I'm talking about "the how."

Not all HSPs (in fact, relatively few) are what I'd characterize as "aggressive activists." In fact, even those who very much want to change the world have certain hesitations, and even (sometimes secretly) confess to me that they are "slightly offended" by way "out there" activism like picketing, staging protests, spray painting fur coats, chaining themselves to bulldozers and so on. We'd really like the end result, but getting there through (almost) "violent" means is often unappealing. So we get a bit stuck there... perhaps saying "I don't have the aggressive nature to do that," yet concerned that "nothing will change" unless we make some kind of major statement to the world.

Another issue that comes up occasionally is that of "principles." Sometimes people get "stuck" behind their principles. Maybe they are dedicated vegans who won't even TALK to meat eaters ("on principle")-- yet, unless they talk to said meat eaters, they cannot hope to change their ways. Maybe they consider such things as Facebook and twitter "selling out" to large corporate entities... but find it hard going to work AGAINST the system for change, rather than WITH the system for change.

Personally, I've never been much of an "activist." In fact I'm one of the ones of the mindset that many ostensible activists annoy the hell out of me because they take this very strident approach... which inadvertently portrays them negatively... and so they may have a super important message, but their presentation gets them dismissed as "freaks" and "fringe dwellers." In short, their methodology overshadows their message.

I believe one of the core necessities for greater long-term change in the world is "balance." From where I am sitting-- I believe we must be "opportunistic" as well as "idealistic;" that is, we must be willing to "use the system" and "their tools" to spread the word about our message and our values. Hence, I work with "mainstream" venues like Blogger (which is part of google), Facebook and twitter to inform people about sensitivity as a biological trait.

Of course, everyone has their own approach. My experience has been (regardless of whether you're talking to other HSPs, or the world at large) that connecting across similarities and "infiltrating from within" typically results in more lasting change than causing a ruckus with a few loud noises.

For example-- on a more personal level-- I don't carry an "I'm an HSP!" banner around, trying to "beat" the trait into people's heads. Truthfully, I have connected with and "informed" more unaware HSPs by simply leaving "The Highly Sensitive Person" out in a visible place... if a dialogue ensues (Them: "What's that you're reading?" Me: "Oh, it's a very interesting book about sensitivity as an innate biological trait. Turns out that a lot of people are simply wired to be sensitive." And then we're sometimes "off to the races." And sometimes not.), then maybe there's something there to explore further. Most people (HSP, or otherwise) respond better to invitations to subtle self-discovery, than to being beaten over the head.

Of course, that's just my opinion! Your mileage may vary....

=================

Talk Back: Do you find yourself wanting to help change the world, but get stuck? Are you more inclined towards "aggressive activism," or "subtle influence from within?" Do you have strong principles that sometimes "get in the way" of your desire to change things? Share your experiences-- leave a comment!

HSPs, a Sense of Rightness and Fanaticism

I don't typically write "op-ed" pieces here, but this is a bit of an exception.

As keen observers and deep processors, it often strikes me that many HSPs have a deep sense of what is "right" in the context of social justice, and what seems "right" in the world. We don't like to see people wronged, and it affects us very strongly when we see (or experience) something unjust. It is likely that a lot of HSPs can be found in non-profit organizations that focus on the protection of rights-- of individuals, victims, animals, and so forth.

In most cases, when a belief (even with good intent) is taken to the extreme, a line is crossed from rightenousness to fanaticism. In the case of HSPs, this can take on an interesting character, because most HSPs operate under a profound attachment to the idea that they are "nice people." Being a "nice person," then, ends up running head first into the contrary view that someone has become a raging fanatic.

What prompted this post was my reflecting, this morning, on a few HSPs I have known who vanished from my life at various times. Most, I knew through an online forum for HSPs, and I was reminded of them by a recent discussion on the topic "Whatever happened to?"

I considered these people friends to various degrees... and yet, they also had an unhealthy fanaticism about them; an obsession with their beliefs that precluded the ablity to empathize with anyone who did not see their point of view as "the only way things should be." And they disappeared because they felt like my failing to agree with their point of view was a "betrayal." Metaphorically speaking, they might have been crusading for something like the freedom for people to randomly yell "FIRE!" in a crowded movie theater, because it represents "freedom of speech." And then... condemn anyone who didn't agree that such a motivation was "wonderful." Or stand in the middle of a busy street and scream in outrage because cars honk their horns as they swerve to miss them.

In my opinion, a person does not become exempt from being responsible for sociopathic and antisocial behavior, just because they happen to be "Highly Sensitive." And whereas it is noble to crusade for the rights of a victimized minority... gaining those rights for a handful, to the detriment of a large majority, is ultimately indistinguishable from the atmosphere that created the victims, in the first place... the focus is on "winners" and "losers," rather than "solutions."

In a sense, it reminds me of insurgents in so-called "Banana Republics." The rebellion leaders are brilliant at overthrowing the "evil government," but have NO idea about how to run a country once the old regime has been unseated. In a sense, they are "professional complainers," but not "world changers."

The true "Social Justice HSP" is about a lot more than merely stirring the pot... that person is creating a viable alternative, and rallying support around it, making the old paradigm obsolete. And shouting "fire" in a crowded movie theater isn't going to cut it.