Wednesday, September 27, 2023

HSP, Sensory Processing Sensitivity, Empath, Asperger's, Autism Spectrum, Neurodivergent - the Changing Landscape of Definitions

Seems like every time I turn my head for a few minutes, some new psychological definition pops up to describe us, both as individuals as well as collectively. 

Part of me thinks this is a wonderful thing because it means there's ongoing exploration of the multi-colored spectrum of human experience we travel through!

The only thing that troubles me sometimes is the same thing that troubles me about the ways of the broader world, in general: Whenever some new "explanation" comes to light, there is an almost inevitable group of people who latch onto aforesaid definition and immediately start their claims that "their way" is the only true explanation out there, and anyone not willing to embrace that is potentially "delusional" and/or "lying to themselves."

There's a certain hidden irony there because often the people at the forefront of these new movements are the same people who are loudly clamoring that the (rest of the) world needs to be more open-minded and inclusive of their differences. 

Ultimately, we all just want to feel understood.

Ultimately, we want to be "part of" something that allows us to feel a little less alone and isolated.

So — particularly if we have felt "lost" for a really long time — it becomes very tempting to join the next "Club of Psychological Acronyms" that comes across our paths... and then to "swear allegiance" to that particular group's interpretation of The Truth... in the process perhaps forsaking the previous explanation we had.

I have always felt very uneasy about throwing the proverbial baby out with the bathwater. Much of the time, it doesn't make sense, and only seems to serve someone's need for solidarity, far more than their need to find answers to, and understanding of, life's mysteries as they uniquely apply to them

I like to step back and examine what's at hand through metaphor:

"Having a runny nose" can mean many different things, even though an outside observer sees only one thing; one symptom. You might have allergies. You might have a cold. It might be sinusitis. You might simply suffer from nonallergic rhinitis. Emphatically jumping on the bandwagon of one thing, to the exclusion of the others makes no sense, just because you are given a description!

For many years, some HSPs would search for a "condition" that would allow them to re-classify their sensitivity as something treatable. That always struck me as very sad.

As the same time, we would be wise to look at new (and old!) information with a critical eye, rather than just jump on the next pop-psychology bandwagon to come down the pike. We would also be wise to keep in mind that multiple things might be concurrently applicable!

These days, it has become increasingly "De Rigeur" to slap an "Autism Spectrum" label on anything at all that can be described as "neurodivergent." I'll be the first to say that I am very happy that the world is paying more attention to Autism! At the same time, looking at the HSP population and making a broad-brush declaration that "HSPs are just on the autism spectrum" is ultimately a bit disingenuous, just like earlier declarations that "HSPs just have Asperger's" were disingenuous.

Why do I say this? 

Well, even if we very generously concede that there might be two Autists who are successfully "masking" for every one who's diagnosed, the math still doesn't work. That would give us about 5% of the population "on the Spectrum" while 15-20% of the population are HSPs. 

And that's not about "how I feel," it's simple data analysis. 

In closing, I'll add that it's certainly possible that I am "On the Spectrum" although I don't really fit the diagnostic criteria all that well, typically described as slight-to-borderline. But there is absolutely do doubt that I match up with the HSP descriptions. 

I can make a similar case for certain aspects of living with ADHD... which I most definitely do, and have been since I was a small child. But the typical kind — the "inattentive" kind, that's all about daydraming and zoning out of reality.

It's a genine diagnosis and separate from being and HSP... and yet the two are also deeply enmeshed.

As always — and this is NOT medical advice — Do Your Own Research!


Tuesday, March 14, 2023

Notes from my Desk: Re-Birth, Once Again... aka "Reality Bites"

Recently, I have been considering things that "fade away" in our lives.

I'm talking about those things that just seem to "leave with a whimper," not those things we make an active decision to end, for one reason or another. As a Highly Sensitive Person, I have had many of the former things in my life — in fact, quite a few more than I am willing to admit to.

Most often, the common reason I end up pointing to is "overstimulation," that bugaboo that haunts many HSPs. In my case, "abandoned projects" are almost inevitably the result of launching into a project with enthusiasm, then "something" happens and the project gets temporarily put on the back burner but because life is... well... busy... and I discover that I simply don't have the energy to continue at the same time as also keeping up with "regular life." As more time passes, "temporarily" gradually becomes "permanently."

Not because I don't like the project anymore... but because dealing with it feels like "too much," on top of everything else.

Often, what I think of as "in this moment overstimulation" is replaced with a sort of "long term overstimulation" as I consider the fact that I really do want to continue with some project on my metaphorical back burner, but now it has gone from merely a "resuming" situation, to needing to find six free days to (re)organize everything merely so that I can get back to the point where I originally let things slide. By then it feels like a huge project, and so I am avoiding it, because I know it will feel overwhelming once I get started again.

I suppose we all get involved in something from time to time, and let it slide away. Maybe that's just human nature and not "HSP nature." And seriously? It only bugs me when I recognize that something really worthwhile has gotten away from me... and there is not enough ME to do what I want to do.

So... why am I writing this?

One of the facts of my reality I often end up pondering is how often it feels like there simply isn't "enough ME" to go around; to apply to the things I deem important.

On deeper examination, I end up facing the simple fact that the mere process of "earning a living" as a self-employed person leaves pretty much zero energy in reserve to merely do things for fun. In her books and workshops, Elaine Aron speaks about how it is important for HSPs to not work too much, as a way to manage overstimulation and eventual burnout.

I definitely don't want to work a lot, but in the USA in 2023 many of us don't have much choice. You work a lot, or you end up living in a cardboard box.

There are property taxes due, in a couple of weeks. You pay them, or you lose your home... a realization that what we "have" in life often hangs by a fragile thread. 




I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

Thursday, January 12, 2023

Looking Backwards to Memories in Search of Healing

I will be the first to admit that I have always been a daydreamer and someone who tends to "drift off" on a cloud of thoughts inside my head.

Part of that stems from having a particular version of ADHD (if you believe that's a real "thing"), part of that stems from an eternal quest to find answers.

One of my patterns seems to be that I spend a lot of time "looking backwards." Not in the sense that I am always "reliving" old painful and embarrassing moments — a common thing among we HSPs — but in the sense that I am trying to find "key moments" where my path took a turn that somehow has resulted in struggle and pain, many years later. It almost feels like a desire to go back at look at those moments, with a sad reflection of "if ONLY I had gone left instead of right, maybe things would be different now."

I suppose some people who characterize such thoughts as "regret."

I am not sure.

I don't feel regretful, so much as I feel compelled to somehow "learn something" to help me not make future decisions that lead to more hardship; more iterations of looking back from some future date and considering what I could have done differently... in what is now my present. Of course, it easily becomes an endless loop of speculation, so I don't "go there" very often!

To the degree that there is a pattern, it seems to be that I invariably make really poor decisions during times when I really don't like myself, and don't believe in myself. 

Perhaps the lesson here is that I should just avoid making important decisions at such times... perhaps I would be better served by pausing and working on myself, instead.



I hope you enjoyed your visit here! HSP Notes has been published continuously since 2002, and I do this entirely as a "labor of love." However, if you feel that this site is of value to you, please consider becoming a "supporter" of HSP Notes, via my Patreon Art Account. Or support my creative endeavors by purchasing one of my hand painted stones — links in the right-hand column!

I have created a special $2 support level, being mindful that most HSPs are on a budget. Your contributions allow me the TIME to continue writing, rather than being forced to abandon the blog and use my writing time to pursue an additional outside job. Your consideration is greatly appreciated, and — as the idealist that I am — I believe the best way we can create a better world for all of us is to support each other's creative endeavors!

Support My Patreon!

If you enjoyed your visit to HSP Notes and found something of value here, please consider supporting my Art and Creativity Patreon account. Although it was created primarily to generate support for my ART, there is a special $2 support level for HSP Notes readers! Look for the link in the right hand column... and thank you!