The Nuts and Bolts of being a Highly Sensitive Person

I haven't been writing much, as of late.

Well, that's not entirely true. I've actually been writing quite a lot... I just haven't been writing a lot of blog posts. Instead, I have been writing some "guest gigs" elsewhere, and I have been working on free-standing articles for various publications and web sites... things that are generally a little too deep and "involved" to fit into a blog post.

It's funny how our choices and actions in life sometimes are among our best "teachers" of what is important to us. I always knew that I wanted to write... but "just writing" was an obstacle for many years in the sense that I wasn't always very good about coming up with "something" to write about. I had no particular expertise or "niche focus," and my skills at writing fiction were a bit dodgy because I fairly broadly sucked in the area of character development. I could write dialogue, I could write descriptive prose, and I could "get from point A, to point B" with some skill. However, the people in my stories were rarely "interesting." In fact, they were mostly mousy, flat and two-dimensional... perhaps a reflection of the fact that I generally steered a wide course around "risky," "dangerous" and "psychotic" people.

Anyway, I never imagined that "being a Highly Sensitive Person" would find a place as the cornerstone that inspires much of my writing.

Most recently, what I have been working on is a fairly thorough article/web page to serve as a broad-based information resource for HSPs. My challenge was to create something that would not only offer a lot of information-- in ONE place-- to someone who had just discovered that they are highly sensitive, but also be useful to those who have been "on the path" for a while and want to learn more. Last-- but certainly not least-- I wanted to come up with something that might be "a useful link" people could send NON-HSP friends and acquaintances to, to tell them a little more about being an HSP.

So, I have created a page called "The Highly Sensitive Person or HSP: What Exactly IS that?" which I'd like to invite you to have a look at... let me know what you think-- either in comments here, or in comments at the end of the article. Don't worry, you won't be asked to pay anything, or become a "member" of something!

Someone on one of the HSP forums recently asked me if I ever write about things that are NOT about HSPs. And the answer to that is "yes," I definitely do. Sometimes I write about writing; sometimes I write about things I feel passionate about, or have expertise with. Sometimes I write about topics related to my various forms of work... and sometimes I write about running a business from home. It all depends.

Some Important Words about Being Highly Sensitive

The title sounds very impressive and serious, doesn't it? Well, it's not... really. But it is important.

I was planning to write something this morning... but I got sidetracked by reading, instead. I think it's part of the lives of most writers that they are also voracious readers. At the end of my reading, I realized that my own words will "keep," and that I instead wanted to share the words of others, today.

I want to share two pieces of writing about being an HSP. They are both incredibly relevant, yet utterly different in style... a study in contrasts.

The first is a deeply intimate and moving blog post by my friend and fellow HSP, Ane Axford... who examines-- in a deeply personal way-- the truth of opening up to our sensitivity and to laying down our "armor" against the world. As she puts it... are we "hardy" (armor wearing) or "hearty" (open to/about our sensitivity). This is one of the best pieces of exploratory writing on being Highly Sensitive I've read in years... don't miss this one!

"Hardy" vs. "Hearty" by Ane Axford.

The second piece of writing is an article from Psychology Today-- the US' most widely read publication (Est. 1.2 million readers!) in the psychology field. Extensively quoting HSP field experts like Elaine Aron, Ted Zeff and others, the article is testament to just how far awareness of the HSP trait (as something other than "in our imagination" or "New Age hooey") has come, since 1996. This is a very "mainstream" magazine... and even though I don't necessarily agree with everything written, it keeps a very balanced and "non-pathological" perspective.

"Sense and Sensitivity" by Andrea Bartz, in Psychology Today.

As a 15-year proponent of openness about being an HSP, these two-- very different-- articles made me stop and ponder the basic questions:

Where are we? What's more, where are we, as individuals trying to figure things out in life? And where are we, as a global "community" of highly sensitive persons?

How are we doing? Have we done enough? Are we doing enough? Are we being our own (and each other's) advocates, or are we hiding our truth?

What is it we really want, as HSPs?

This time my usual "talk back" space asks you to read the articles, consider, and then leave a comment about your own experience... along with your answers/thoughts about these questions.

As always, thanks for reading!

Assorted articles about the HSP Trait

I spent the weekend in Seattle, being at meetings and gatherings relating to a new project I'm getting involved with. In spending a couple of days among anywhere from 25 to maybe 80 people, I was reminded of how emotionally and mentally exhausting it can for an HSP-- especially of the introverted variety-- to spend a lot of time with larger groups of people.

I'm not even going to count the effect of simply being in a city the size of Seattle, in this equation...

I was planning to write a new article today, but found myself feeling "tired in the head" and not so inspired. I expect a few who read this can relate.

So, instead I am going to share some articles I have written-- in the course of the past five years-- relating to living, growing and finding resources for the Highly Sensitive Person. I hope you will find something of use, here-- either for yourself, or to share with people you feel could use a bit more information. Each link opens in a new browser tab:

The Highly Sensitive Person: An Introduction: Written in 2007, this was my first attempt at creating a brief introduction to the HSP trait. It covers the general "basics."

So WHAT if you're Sensitive? Why should it matter to you?: I wrote this article in response to a number people-- many of them HSPs-- who responded "who cares?" to me when I started writing about the trait.

OK, so I'm an HSP-- NOW what?: This article covers a bit about "what to do next," once a person discovers they are an HSP-- some suggestions on how and where to learn more.

HSP Gatherings, Groups and Workshops: Maybe not so much an "article" as a place I put together a list of resources-- since it's a permanent post, it's a little more accessible than the dynamic pages of a blog.

HSPs and the Challenge of Friendships: I wrote this piece about four years ago, in response to what seemed (and this continues) like a long stream of people on HSP forums talking about how difficult it was for them to make-- and keep-- friends.

Highly Sensitive or Highly Touchy?: This article took on one of the more "sensitive" topics I've written about: When does genuinely "sensitive" actually roll over into the land of someone who's pathologically touchy and fussy about everything... making them difficult to be around?

I realize that these articles may be somewhat "introductory level" for many readers... but sometimes it's good to have a few reminders of the basics.

"Tribe": The Magazine for HSPs

For a moment, I'm going to put on my Public Relations hat, here...

If you are not yet aware or missed the announcements here, last year a new magazine was launched: "Tribe" is a beautiful 4-color print magazine created BY HSPs, FOR HSPs, largely about the different aspects of living as an HSP. Tribe is a celebration of the beauty, strength and creativity of HSPs around the world-- a showcase of some of the best we offer the world.

This is our magazine.

The latest issue of Tribe is now available... I just got mine in the mail; it's well worth buying and reading. And sharing with others. It's a beautiful high quality full-color publication with insightful articles, poetry, beautiful photography, art and more. It's available as a web download as well as a printed magazine, but I really recommend the print version.

Tribe is still a new publication (this is just the second issue), and relies heavily on word-of-mouth to spread awareness... so I'm helping pass along the word. If you Facebook or twitter, or have a web site or blog of your own, I'm sure they'd appreciate any good word you pass along

Finally, in the interests of "full disclosure," I should say that I'm also selfishly motivated here... I authored an article in the current issue. But don't let that hold you back...

So... what are you waiting for? Go have a look!

Go here to buy a print copy of the Winter issue of Tribe Magazine.

For more general information about the winter issue of Tribe, follow this link.

New article on the importance of spreading HSP awareness

I have added another article to my online "library" of thoughts and observations about life and being an HSP.

This article focuses on the importance of "HSP awareness" and why it IS important that the world in general be made aware of the HSP trait.

You can read the article here:

HSP Topics: So WHAT if you're Sensitive? Why should it matter to you?

If you liked the article and/or got something useful from it, please help spread HSP awareness by clicking on the green "share it" link (immediately below the amazon.com ad) and adding it to Digg or StumbleUpon!

HSP Writing

On occasion, I have alluded to the fact that I am a writer. Even though I don't really write "for a living" (meaning I don't get paid enough to actually live on), I have written many articles over the years, on the topic of being an HSP.

Alas, most of them have been scattered around an assortment of web sites and ezines. Some can still be found if you search for them, others have died with the web sites that hosted them, and yet others have just been forgotten. There are also some that are largely written, but still sit here on my computer hard drive.

I have recently been encouraged by a friend who told me I "out to publish" my writings on the HSP trait. I don't think she fully appreciated the scale of the "research project" that would be associated with gathering everything in one place... but her encouragement was enough for me to at least make an attempt.

I am going to use this post for links to my writing about the HSP trait... which I have decided to publish previously unfinished work through the "hubpages" web site, because it allows people to view without needing to "sign up" for anything. I'll also be adding links to writing in other places. I hope you'll stop by and read, and perhaps leave me a comment.

The Highly Sensitive Person: An Introduction
HSP Topics: The Challenge of Friendships