When Elaine Aron was here in Austin, we talked a little bit about support groups for HSPs.
Whereas Elaine is all in favor of HSPs connecting with other HSPs and helping each other in an understanding environment — peer counseling — she said that she has never started any groups because it would represent a "conflict of interests."
She also said she couldn't really "endorse" groups, formally. However, she certainly encouraged me to do something for local HSPs.
Some of us who attended her workshop at The Crossings talked about how nice it would be to have a group. Of course, nobody's really all that keen on being the person in charge.
I brought up the idea of using the website MeetUp.com to facilitate things, since it is precisely designed as a sort of networking that allows people to go online to create connections offline. I know at least Jennifer and Serenity are interested in participating.
We'll see what happens. In my experience with HSPs and groups (online), there's a long distance between liking an idea and being part of something.
Saturday, August 07, 2004
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Recap: Elaine Aron Workshop in Austin
This past weekend, I was part of Elaine Aron's three-day workshop at the Crossings retreat center, here in Austin. It's the first time Elaine has taught in the US in a location not on the east or west coast.
Although it was quite different from the format of the Gathering in California, it was still a wonderful experience. The workshop started on Friday evening with what amounted to mostly an introduction and outline of what we would be covering for the remainder of the weekend. There were 22 people in attendance at the start. It felt a bit strange, because there were only two men, and 20 women-- and the other man left after the first break and never showed back up. Whereas I felt a bit self-conscious at first, I am actually somewhat used to being in metaphysics workshops where most attendees are women.
Elaine's three-day workshops are basically an "interactive" introduction to the basics of being Highly Sensitive, as she covered it in her books. What's nice about the format is that she asks participants what they want to talk about, and then the workshop is structured around those ideas. She also takes plenty of time for breaks, in case people get overstimulated. There's also no pressure to "participate," although the more interesting parts come about as a result of input and stories from the participants.
The workshop consisted of a Friday evening session, two three-hour sessions on Saturday, and a single three-hour session on Sunday. There was lots of free time in between, offering people a chance to get to know each other, and to use the facilities at The Crossings, which were wonderful.
Because I have already been "on the path" of self-discovering as an HSP since 1997, I didn't really expect to learn very much new-- although Elaine did present some of her latest research on rewiring people's neural nets after traumas, as an alternative to conventional therapy. My main reason for going was to meet other HSPs, and especially to meet HSPs in the Austin area.
Of the 20-odd attendees, 11 were from Texas, with 8 from greater Austin. We did get a little time to talk, and I do believe we have the foundations for a local HSP group! I also made a new friend-- one of those wonderful experiences where you just instantly "connect" with someone, and everything feels rather "effortless." Alas, she lives near Fort Worth, some 200 miles away-- thank goodness for email!
All in all, it was a great experience, and I felt like I got to connect with a new set of "tribe members." If you find yourself in an area where Elaine is teaching, I would highly recommend attending one of these workshops-- both to learn, and to connect with other HSPs.
Although it was quite different from the format of the Gathering in California, it was still a wonderful experience. The workshop started on Friday evening with what amounted to mostly an introduction and outline of what we would be covering for the remainder of the weekend. There were 22 people in attendance at the start. It felt a bit strange, because there were only two men, and 20 women-- and the other man left after the first break and never showed back up. Whereas I felt a bit self-conscious at first, I am actually somewhat used to being in metaphysics workshops where most attendees are women.
Elaine's three-day workshops are basically an "interactive" introduction to the basics of being Highly Sensitive, as she covered it in her books. What's nice about the format is that she asks participants what they want to talk about, and then the workshop is structured around those ideas. She also takes plenty of time for breaks, in case people get overstimulated. There's also no pressure to "participate," although the more interesting parts come about as a result of input and stories from the participants.
The workshop consisted of a Friday evening session, two three-hour sessions on Saturday, and a single three-hour session on Sunday. There was lots of free time in between, offering people a chance to get to know each other, and to use the facilities at The Crossings, which were wonderful.
Because I have already been "on the path" of self-discovering as an HSP since 1997, I didn't really expect to learn very much new-- although Elaine did present some of her latest research on rewiring people's neural nets after traumas, as an alternative to conventional therapy. My main reason for going was to meet other HSPs, and especially to meet HSPs in the Austin area.
Of the 20-odd attendees, 11 were from Texas, with 8 from greater Austin. We did get a little time to talk, and I do believe we have the foundations for a local HSP group! I also made a new friend-- one of those wonderful experiences where you just instantly "connect" with someone, and everything feels rather "effortless." Alas, she lives near Fort Worth, some 200 miles away-- thank goodness for email!
All in all, it was a great experience, and I felt like I got to connect with a new set of "tribe members." If you find yourself in an area where Elaine is teaching, I would highly recommend attending one of these workshops-- both to learn, and to connect with other HSPs.
Friday, March 12, 2004
Elaine Aron Workshop, Austin, Texas April 30-May 2
Elaine Aron will be teaching a three-day workshop on being an HSP at Omega at the Crossings in Austin, Texas, on April 30th through May 2nd. This is her "basic" HSP introductory workshop she also teaches on the East Coast, and at Esalen in California.
This is amazing news for me, seeing as how it will be right here in my back yard. I live about six miles from The Crossings. In a very UN-HSP like fashion, I have been promoting this event to anyone who has been willing to give me the time of the day, hoping there will be a decent turnout.
What excites me the most about this is the possibility of meeting other HSPs from the Central Texas area-- I can't imagine everyone will be from out-of-state. Although it is not a "Gathering" as such, I am hoping it will have the same atmosphere of belonging and community I experienced at the California Gathering, this past summer.
This is amazing news for me, seeing as how it will be right here in my back yard. I live about six miles from The Crossings. In a very UN-HSP like fashion, I have been promoting this event to anyone who has been willing to give me the time of the day, hoping there will be a decent turnout.
What excites me the most about this is the possibility of meeting other HSPs from the Central Texas area-- I can't imagine everyone will be from out-of-state. Although it is not a "Gathering" as such, I am hoping it will have the same atmosphere of belonging and community I experienced at the California Gathering, this past summer.
Saturday, January 17, 2004
Exciting News!
I have periodically complained that Austin-- in spite of generally being the most "progressive" metro area in Texas-- is rather lacking when it comes to "HSP-friendly" ideas and activities.
I have great hopes that this is going to change. Well, at least I have great hopes that it will change for me.
Late last year, a world-class retreat center opened in Austin. Not only did it open in Austin, but it is in the far north, no more than 5-6 miles from where I live. Omega at the Crossings is part of the greater Omega organization, based in Rhinebeck, New York.
From looking at their spring course catalog, I see a lot of the "big names" of the self-growth and metaphysics world will be making stops here.
Things are looking up....
I have great hopes that this is going to change. Well, at least I have great hopes that it will change for me.
Late last year, a world-class retreat center opened in Austin. Not only did it open in Austin, but it is in the far north, no more than 5-6 miles from where I live. Omega at the Crossings is part of the greater Omega organization, based in Rhinebeck, New York.
From looking at their spring course catalog, I see a lot of the "big names" of the self-growth and metaphysics world will be making stops here.
Things are looking up....
Saturday, December 20, 2003
Happy Holidays!
Another year is almost at a close. I will take this opportunity to say Happy Holidays to those who read these words. In a few days, it will be 2004, so I will say Happy New Year, while I am at it.
I have found it somewhat difficult to maintain this blog, I must confess. I don't know exactly why, as I continue to feel quite passionately about the task of "spreading awareness" of the HSP trait. Sometimes, I feel the challenge has most been about how to stay "on topic," how to keep up with ideas that are specific to the HSP trait. I was never particularly good at focusing. My previous attempts at blogging and having web sites were always very general and "scattered," because I have a LOT of interests.
In fact, I have started another blog, elsewhere, which is far more "general" in nature. It is called "Inner Reflections," and is on the xanga blogging site. I like it better because it is far more "interactive" than this site. In a few short weeks, I already have a much larger readership than HSP Notes.
All in all, it was a good year for me. I got to go to an HSP Gathering. I feel like I have found my "tribe," on this planet. I started building the "Inner Reflections" web site, although I have miles and miles to go. I started several "regional" HSP discussion groups on Yahoo, hoping to get more HSPs involved in knowing each other at a local level. I feel hopeful that a few people might sign up for the Texas group.
I don't normally make New Year's resolutions, although I'd like to think I'd get back to making regular contributions to this site. And perhaps, I can go to another HSP Gathering, next year.
I have found it somewhat difficult to maintain this blog, I must confess. I don't know exactly why, as I continue to feel quite passionately about the task of "spreading awareness" of the HSP trait. Sometimes, I feel the challenge has most been about how to stay "on topic," how to keep up with ideas that are specific to the HSP trait. I was never particularly good at focusing. My previous attempts at blogging and having web sites were always very general and "scattered," because I have a LOT of interests.
In fact, I have started another blog, elsewhere, which is far more "general" in nature. It is called "Inner Reflections," and is on the xanga blogging site. I like it better because it is far more "interactive" than this site. In a few short weeks, I already have a much larger readership than HSP Notes.
All in all, it was a good year for me. I got to go to an HSP Gathering. I feel like I have found my "tribe," on this planet. I started building the "Inner Reflections" web site, although I have miles and miles to go. I started several "regional" HSP discussion groups on Yahoo, hoping to get more HSPs involved in knowing each other at a local level. I feel hopeful that a few people might sign up for the Texas group.
I don't normally make New Year's resolutions, although I'd like to think I'd get back to making regular contributions to this site. And perhaps, I can go to another HSP Gathering, next year.
Friday, October 24, 2003
HSPs and Woundology
I have not been paying attention to this blog, and I feel somewhat guilty about it. I suppose-- to some degree-- I have felt a little discouraged, this summer and fall. At first, I thought I just felt "low" as a result of missing the atmosphere from the HSP Gathering in California, but there has been more to it than that. Having spent a few days in California, I have become profoundly aware of just how NON-HSP Texas is, as a place.
But that's not what has brought me back here.
A recent discussion in one of the HSP web groups revolved around HSPs and "playing the victim." That is, turning the HSP trait into something to "hide behind" and use as an "excuse" to not participate in all manners of things.
Actually, I believe what's going on is the more subtle practice of "woundology." Maybe that sounds like a matter of semantics, but there is a difference.
Victimology is a fairly active process, in which there is an element of "woe is me, feel sorry for me, because of how I am." It's not uncommon, and is by no means limited to the world of the highly sensitive.
Woundology is more pervasive. There's usually no "feel sorry for me" aspect involved... merely a pattern of behavior in which "the wounded" chooses to live in such a way that they avoid the majority of life because of their "wound." In the case of HSPs, they avoid being active agents in their own lives, choosing not to do things "because they are sensitive." In their own minds, they are merely "honoring their sensitivity." But are they really? Sometimes, perhaps. But remarkably often, the "wound" is used to mask deeper psychological issues that aren't about sensitivity, at all.
An example might be the person who always says "no" to going out to eat with friends, or going to see a film, citing that she will "become overstimulated and have to leave." The "reason" used is sensitivity... but underneath, we find something else. Perhaps "I'm highly sensitive" is merely a "cover" to avoid looking at what is actually a case of Social Anxiety Disorder. By saying "I'm sensitive," and using the HSP trait as a "shield," the person gains not having to deal with a deeper problem.
It is not always easy to look at our "bag of goods" truthfully.
Sometimes, however, it is essential that we do so.
But that's not what has brought me back here.
A recent discussion in one of the HSP web groups revolved around HSPs and "playing the victim." That is, turning the HSP trait into something to "hide behind" and use as an "excuse" to not participate in all manners of things.
Actually, I believe what's going on is the more subtle practice of "woundology." Maybe that sounds like a matter of semantics, but there is a difference.
Victimology is a fairly active process, in which there is an element of "woe is me, feel sorry for me, because of how I am." It's not uncommon, and is by no means limited to the world of the highly sensitive.
Woundology is more pervasive. There's usually no "feel sorry for me" aspect involved... merely a pattern of behavior in which "the wounded" chooses to live in such a way that they avoid the majority of life because of their "wound." In the case of HSPs, they avoid being active agents in their own lives, choosing not to do things "because they are sensitive." In their own minds, they are merely "honoring their sensitivity." But are they really? Sometimes, perhaps. But remarkably often, the "wound" is used to mask deeper psychological issues that aren't about sensitivity, at all.
An example might be the person who always says "no" to going out to eat with friends, or going to see a film, citing that she will "become overstimulated and have to leave." The "reason" used is sensitivity... but underneath, we find something else. Perhaps "I'm highly sensitive" is merely a "cover" to avoid looking at what is actually a case of Social Anxiety Disorder. By saying "I'm sensitive," and using the HSP trait as a "shield," the person gains not having to deal with a deeper problem.
It is not always easy to look at our "bag of goods" truthfully.
Sometimes, however, it is essential that we do so.
Sunday, September 14, 2003
Connecting Locally: Groups for HSPs
This weekend I have been thinking (again) about the way HSPs feel "disconnected" in the world, and how we often tend to isolate ourselves.
At the HSP Gathering in California, Elaine Aron spoke about the importance of HSPs connecting with other HSPs. During the interactive session after her presentation, a couple of people asked about how to meet other HSPs locally. Elaine pointed out that there's an entire chapter dedicated to HSP Discussion Groups in the back of The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook, outlining how people might start and maintain their own local groups.
I do have the workbook, and have read this chapter-- 42 pages worth-- and found it a bit overwhelming. The idea of groups appeals to me, but I am also not sure there are enough HSPs around Austin, TX to form a local group. Texas feels like one of the least HSP-aware parts of the US.
I have also been looking at a new web site called "meetup," which seems to work as an intermediary or organizing tool for people who connect online, but want to meet in physical space. They do have a category called "Fans of Elaine Aron and Highly Sensitive Persons" but there are only 92 people listed as "interested," in the entire country. And since the group heading doesn't include the term "HSP," I'm not sure how many will find it. As usual... another great tool if your interest is "I love dogs," not so great if your interest is unusual or esoteric.
But why not online groups, in the meantime? Elaine Aron doesn't really talk much about online discussion, but why not? It seems more suitable to HSPs-- most of whom are introverts, after all. The HSP group on Yahoo has 100's of members, and so does Thomas Eldridge's HSP message board... I've been part of both for several years.
I know I'd personally feel more comfortable getting to "know" people online before meeting them. I experienced it firsthand with HSPs at the California Gathering-- several people from the Yahoo group were there, and it felt like we "knew" each other when we met.
I am thinking about starting up "local" (or "regional") HSP groups on Yahoo. I don't really relish the idea of being an "admin" of any more groups (I have a lot going on... such as trying to make a living) but I don't think anyone else is going to do it.
For now, maybe I will start with a few major cities/regions where there is above average HSP awareness-- perhaps California, the Northeast, Chicago area, Seattle/Vancouver... and see what happens. I'll post links here as I figure out how to do this.
If anybody has any suggestions on how to do this, or are looking for a group in your area, leave a comment or send me an email.
At the HSP Gathering in California, Elaine Aron spoke about the importance of HSPs connecting with other HSPs. During the interactive session after her presentation, a couple of people asked about how to meet other HSPs locally. Elaine pointed out that there's an entire chapter dedicated to HSP Discussion Groups in the back of The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook, outlining how people might start and maintain their own local groups.
I do have the workbook, and have read this chapter-- 42 pages worth-- and found it a bit overwhelming. The idea of groups appeals to me, but I am also not sure there are enough HSPs around Austin, TX to form a local group. Texas feels like one of the least HSP-aware parts of the US.
I have also been looking at a new web site called "meetup," which seems to work as an intermediary or organizing tool for people who connect online, but want to meet in physical space. They do have a category called "Fans of Elaine Aron and Highly Sensitive Persons" but there are only 92 people listed as "interested," in the entire country. And since the group heading doesn't include the term "HSP," I'm not sure how many will find it. As usual... another great tool if your interest is "I love dogs," not so great if your interest is unusual or esoteric.
But why not online groups, in the meantime? Elaine Aron doesn't really talk much about online discussion, but why not? It seems more suitable to HSPs-- most of whom are introverts, after all. The HSP group on Yahoo has 100's of members, and so does Thomas Eldridge's HSP message board... I've been part of both for several years.
I know I'd personally feel more comfortable getting to "know" people online before meeting them. I experienced it firsthand with HSPs at the California Gathering-- several people from the Yahoo group were there, and it felt like we "knew" each other when we met.
I am thinking about starting up "local" (or "regional") HSP groups on Yahoo. I don't really relish the idea of being an "admin" of any more groups (I have a lot going on... such as trying to make a living) but I don't think anyone else is going to do it.
For now, maybe I will start with a few major cities/regions where there is above average HSP awareness-- perhaps California, the Northeast, Chicago area, Seattle/Vancouver... and see what happens. I'll post links here as I figure out how to do this.
If anybody has any suggestions on how to do this, or are looking for a group in your area, leave a comment or send me an email.
Friday, September 05, 2003
HSP Gathering October 16-19 in Litchfield, CT
The second Annual East Coast HSP Gathering will take place at Wisdom House in Litchfield, CT on October 16-19, 2003.
See Elaine Aron's web site for more information at:
http://www.hsperson.com/pages/gather.htm
I can tell you from my personal experiences this past summer that an HSP Gathering is a very empowering and validating event-- and it's not too late to sign up for the coming event! I wish I could go, but unfortunately my finances won't allow it.
See Elaine Aron's web site for more information at:
http://www.hsperson.com/pages/gather.htm
I can tell you from my personal experiences this past summer that an HSP Gathering is a very empowering and validating event-- and it's not too late to sign up for the coming event! I wish I could go, but unfortunately my finances won't allow it.
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